The Honeymoons Over
by JustForkIt
Summary: What happens when the honeymoons over and you have to start dealing with life? Edward and Bella learn that being married isn't always easy and crazy MIL's dont just go away.
1. Our Digital Get Down

**The idea for this story came from a group of us always complaining about our husbands. A/N at the end!!! Enjoy!!**

**Prologue **

Being an adult sucks. End of story.

As a little girl my parents introduced me to stories like Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and The Little Mermaid. All stories that revolve around one central theme, and that theme is love. They show you that you should spend your life looking and praying for Mr. Right. And that once you find him that your life will be perfect because true love conquers all.

Well I will tell you the truth. That shit never happens.

You find Mr. Right, and you spend oh I don't know, six fucking years hoping and praying that he will ask you to marry him. Then you spend another year planning a huge wedding and trying to please your OCD mother and his Martha freaking Stewart of a mother. You keep telling yourself that once you're married, it will be fine. You keep telling yourself that, but when you get shingles from the stress your future mother in law is causing you also get medicated. You get medicated with happy pills that become your life saver and new best friend.

So you make it through the wedding. You smile and hug the new mother in law that you know really hates you. You act excited to see the ex-girlfriend, who happens to be very close family friend of Mr. Right, and try not notice how your mother in law smiles when the ex hugs your now husband.

Then comes the honeymoon. Now I won't lie and say that it wasn't perfection, because it was. Unlimited drinks, laying on a secluded beach with your almost naked husband, having the most incredible sex of your life, and did I mention the unlimited drinks?

If we could have never left that little island, never left the amazing room and secluded beach, our marriage would be perfect. He would be my Mr. Right and I would be his. Just his.

But like I said, life is not a fairytale. And I am far from cinder-fucking-ella. This is real life, and real life is a bitch.

This is why I am sitting here, on my side of our obnoxiously huge bed, surrounded by a dozen tufts of tissues that have been used to wipe away tears. Tears that are the result of the first huge fight I have had with my Mr. Right since we have been married. A fight that has resulted in me in this fucking bed alone, and my husband sleeping at his parent's house. Perfect.

Excuse me Mr. Disney, I want a fucking refund.

**One Week After the Honeymoon**

"Edward! Guess what!" I smiled as my husband poked his head around the corner.

As he moved further into the room I had to fight to keep from tackling him right there. He stood leaning against the door frame in those ratty cargo shorts without a shirt looking like something straight out of my "cable guy comes over to hook up your DVR and instead hooks you up" fantasy. I shook my head when he started laughing. I must have been staring.

"Did you call me in here just so you could ogle me? I was hooking up your computer."

Yup Cable Guy fantasy was coming true later today.

"No. I was just going to tell you that I have just unpacked the last box and we officially live here!"

I pointed to the empty box on the floor and smiled proudly.

"Bells, we've lived here a week. Actually I've lived here like a month." He stepped around the now empty box and wrapped his arms around my waist. "But good job on the unpacking baby."

I bit my bottom lip as his hands left my waist and cupped my ass, pulling me closer to him. He leaned his head down with my most favorite crooked smile and kissed me softly. I leaned up on my tiptoes throwing my arms around his neck. As I tried to mould myself to his body he smiled and unhooked my arms.

"Bella, you gave me a whole list of things to do today. Don't get me sidetracked."

He gave my ass a little swat before kissing the top of my head and going back into the office. As I watched him leave with that smug little smile on his face I shook my head. My husband was a tease and I loved every fucking minute of it.

I stumbled over the empty box before kicking it out of my way. Two could play this game, and I definitely didn't play fair. I ran into our bedroom and began pulling my tank top and shorts off. I fumbled through Edward's side of the closet and yanked one of his white dress shirts off of the hanger. As I pulled my bra off, I let my hair out of the messy bun I had it in. I flipped my head over shaking out the curls before standing back up. I left the shirt unbuttoned but grabbed one of Edward's ties before moving quietly down the hallway.

I sauntered into the office to find my husband lying on his back under my desk while running cords to and from the modem. I smiled to myself as I sat in his leather chair across the room.

"Edward." I lazily fingered the loose tie that was around my neck and swayed side to side in the chair.

His head popped up and as he took in my appearance his eyes widened. The screw driver he had been holding fell out of his hands and hit him on the head. I snorted quietly as he rubbed his head and sat up, still looking like a kid in a candy store.

"Be…Bella?"

"I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to hook up my computer." I batted my eyelashes shamelessly and tilted my head to one side.

I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing as he tried to stand up and tripped over the cord he had been attaching to the wall. But he seemed to recover quickly because before I had time to blink he was picking me up out of the chair. As his hands slid under my ass told hold me up, my legs instinctively wrapped around his waist and I could immediately tell just how eager my husband was.

"I thought you had a lot to do today." I kissed his neck slowly while my fingers threaded themselves into the back of his hair.

He grunted as his lips began to kiss my chest slowly, licking the space between my breasts. He shifted my weight so he could hold me up with one arm while the other one began pushing things off his desk. I giggled as he sent the stapler flying off the desk which ended up landing on this foot.

He kicked the stapler off to the side and sat me on his desk. My legs loosened their hold as his hands pushed the shirt off my shoulders. I began to pull the tie off when his hands stopped me.

"Leave the fucking tie."

I smiled and ran my hands up his chest as he leaned down over me. His hands trailed down my stomach to my hips. He slipped his fingers inside the waist of my panties and pulled them off my hips and down my legs.

My eyes closed as he began kissing my stomach slowly. His hands found my waist again and he pulled me to the edge of the desk.

"God Bella. Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you look right now?"

I smiled seductively up at him while my hand groped around the desk until I found what I was looking for. When I handed him the digital camera his grandmother had given us as a wedding present, I couldn't tell if he was mad that I would even suggest this, or if he was pissed that he hadn't thought of it first.

"Well you don't have to Edward."

"Are you kidding me? I'm just pissed I didn't think of this sooner."

See this is why he is my Mr. Right. I sat up on my elbows as he turned the camera on and focused it on me.

"Holy shit." He laughed like a twelve year old and began taking pictures.

I giggled and tried to look as sexy as I possibly could while splayed all over my husband's antique desk wearing nothing but his tie. I moved around as he told me what he wanted and which poses he liked best until the turned the camera off and threw it in the chair behind him.

"Ok enough of that shit."

He pulled his shorts and boxers off in one swift movement and came at me with what had to be one of the sexiest smirks in the history of the world.

He grabbed my hips and again pulled me to the edge of the desk.

"You have no idea how much I want you right now." I whispered as I kissed his neck and let my hands travel over his chest and shoulders.

"I bet I could find out." He smirked again as his fingers slowly traced up my inner thigh until he reached my clit.

I moaned loudly as his thumb began rubbing slow circles against me. When his fingers slipped inside me my hips lifted off the desk.

"Fuck." I bit my lip as his thumb applied more pressure and he added another finger.

"That's the general idea."

As his hand tightened around my waist holding me in place he continued his amazing rhythm of his thumb rubbing against my now throbbing clit and his fingers sliding in and out of me, I couldn't help but think how I knew his piano abilities would eventually pay off.

"Edward." I moaned loudly as I tightened my grip on his shoulder and arm.

He began peppering my neck with kisses and I could feel the cocky smile against my skin.

"Edward I want you."

"I want you too, baby."

"No I want you. I want you in me like now."

He slid his fingers out but continued rubbing against me slowly, agonizingly slow.

"Edward please…" I could feel him positioning himself in front of me.

"Please what?" He slowly slipped the head of his penis in me.

I was practically clawing at his back and shoulders but I knew he loved it when I begged him.

"Please Edward I want you."

I had no problem begging for this. He knew I wanted it, and I knew he wanted to give it to me.

His hands grabbed my hips and pulled me closer to him while he slid in slowly until he was completely inside.

"Oh God!" I threw my head back as he began moving in and out of me, slowly at first but building in speed and force.

"Edward this is your mother."

My eyes flew open as he groaned and leaned his head down on my shoulder.

"Edward this is your mother."

I ground my teeth together as the voice of my dear mother in law filled the room.

"Are you fucking kidding me Edward?"

"Edward this is your mother."

"If I don't answer it she will just keep calling Bella." He groaned as he pulled out of me and picked his shorts up off the floor and fished his phone out of his pocket.

"Edward this is your…"

"Hi Mom."

I fell back against the desk and shook my head while staring at the ceiling.

"No we were just getting the office set up."

I sat back up and wanted to cry when I saw that Edward was now sitting in his chair, no longer naked.

"No come on by."

I waved my hands at him while mouthing the words "Hell no!" but he ignored me.

"Ok see you in a few minutes. Love you too. Bye."

As soon as he closed his phone he held his hands up "Bella she was in the neighborhood."

"My ass she was in the neighborhood. They live an hour away Edward."

"Well I couldn't just tell her no."

"Why not? I would have. Does she not know you don't just drop in on newlyweds? Everyone knows that."

I got off the desk and picked his now wrinkled dress shirt off of the floor along with my panties.

"We can have sex anytime Bella. She hasn't seen us since we got back."

I ignored him and went back into our bedroom where I got dressed. As I was pulling my hair back up I heard the front door open.

"Edward?"

I cringed as my mother in law's annoyingly sweet voice filled our house.

"Thanks for fucking knocking." I muttered under my breath as I heard Edward greeting his mother.

I grabbed my cell phone off the night stand and sent a 911 text to my best friend.

"911 MIL showed up and interrupted sex, need tequila." I hit send and before I could even leave the room she had texted me back.

"I'm on it. 7:00."

I smiled and tossed my phone on the bed before taking a deep breath and going out into the living room to find my mother in law pinching my husband's cheeks and laughing.

"And there's Bella." She stepped around Edward and hugged my tightly.

"Hi Esme." I patted her back and threw a glare at Edward who shook his head at me.

Once she let me go she held me at arm's length and looked me over.

"I was just telling Edward how tan he looked."

I smiled and nodded.

"But you look just as pale dear." She patted my arm and moved into the kitchen.

I fisted my hands at my side and stifled a groan as she mumbled something about fair skin. Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head before leading me into the kitchen.

Esme was going through the cabinets commenting on how she would have arranged things differently. She stopped and pointed to a white bag that was sitting on the counter.

"I brought you dinner dear. I know Bella must be exhausted and I didn't want you to have to order pizza again." She smiled kindly and turned back to the cabinets.

I rounded on Edward but he was already digging through the bag and pulling out cartons of what I assumed was Chinese food and moving them into the fridge.

"Thanks mom, you really didn't have to."

"Well I couldn't let you starve dear." She laughed, or cackled, and Edward smirked along with her.

That traitor! I wouldn't have let him starve! I shot death glares at the back of my husband's head before Esme tapped my shoulder.

"Bella, where are your glasses?"

I ignored her question and reached around her into a cabinet and handed her a glass.

"Oh. Well. Thank you. I wouldn't have though to put the glasses in that cabinet."

She smiled sweetly and it took everything in my power not to just punch her in her face.

"Well show me the rest of the house." She clapped her boney little hands together and Edward motioned for her to follow him.

I stood there leaning against the counter hoping I wasn't expected to participate in this tour.

"Bella are you coming?" Edward called from the hallway.

I pushed away from the counter and muttered "Not anytime soon apparently."

Edward was showing his mother the house, commenting on gifts we had received or items we had picked up while on the honeymoon. His mother made comments that just annoyed the hell out of me. To someone on the outside they might not have seemed harsh or degrading but if you knew Esme, really knew her, you knew she was being a snarky ass old woman. And it just pissed me off.

"You know Edward that vase Tanya got you would look wonderful on that shelf."

At the mention of the ex my head popped up and I looked around the office.

"I guess." He shrugged and picked the screwdriver up off the floor.

"You know she will be in town next month. We should all get together for dinner. Wouldn't that be nice?"

Edward gave me an apologetic smile as we half listened to his mother's asinine story of Tanya's new job, or new boobs whatever she was talking about. I was about to interrupt her when I saw her pick up the camera from the desk and turn it on.

"Oh I would love to see pictures from the honeymoon!"

It was one of those moments when everything seemed to be going in slow motion. Before either one of us could react his mother began scanning through the pictures on the camera. I cringed as her face formed a horrific grimace and she dropped the camera onto the floor.

The three of us stood there staring at the camera and the picture that was still showing up on the screen. I closed my eyes as Edward leaned down and picked the camera off and quickly turned it off.

"Esme." I took a tentative step forward but she held her hands up.

"I do not want to discuss this."

She moved around me and back into the living room where she grabbed her purse and flung it over her shoulder. We both followed behind her and as she went to open the front door Edward stopped her.

"Mom I'm sorry you had to see that but…"

She took a deep breath through her nose which made her nostrils flair.

"I am very disappointed in you Edward. Very."

"Excuse me?" I stepped forward in front of Edward and shook my head.

"This is horrendous. My own child involved in pornography!" She shook her head at me.

"Esme we are a married couple. And what we choose to do in our own house is not your business. Edward didn't do anything wrong."

She narrowed her eyes at me before looking at her son.

"You have corrupted him Bella. And I will not stand for it. I will be making an appointment for both of you to meet with our pastor and begin marriage classes."

I couldn't help but snort and laugh at her.

"Mom, Bella didn't corrupt me. We were just fooling around."

I began laughing harder at his choice of words and held onto his arm to keep from falling over. Edward coughed to cover up his laughter but it didn't fool anyone.

"I'm making the appointment Edward." Esme pointed a threatening finger at her only son before opening the door and slamming it behind her.

After we watched her drive away from the house and down the street Edward turned the camera back on.

"I guess I should delete these."

I grabbed the camera out of his hand and turned it off.

"Like hell you should. We are framing these bitches!"

We both started laughing again before he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

"Where are we going?"

"We are going to finish what we started earlier." I laughed as he pinched my ass.

"Well be sure to turn your damn cell phone off."

Edward laughed and kicked the bedroom door closed behind us.

**LMAO this shit made me laugh so hard!!!! We have several more chapters coming up and I really hope you guys enjoyed it!**

**I have to say this is dedicated to my husband. Honey.. I love you.. but your mom pisses me off! :o)**

**Di- I heart you!!!! What else can I saw??? I'm SAWFT for you!!!**


	2. Satan and Barbie

**Ladies... get ready to laugh. A/N at the end**

**Two Weeks After The Honeymoon**

"Bella, please! It would be so great!"

"Edward we do not need a new TV." I shook my head as I double checked my make up in the visor mirror.

When he didn't say anything I turned to look at him. He was staring at the road with his hands griping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white. I couldn't help but laugh at my grown husband pouting like a five year old.

"Seriously? You're going to pout?" I pushed the visor back up and leaned against the door to look at him.

"I'm not pouting."

"Edward."

"No. You don't want to talk about it so just forget it."

I ground my teeth together and took a deep breath. He was really starting to piss me off, but fighting with him before we arrived at the gates of hell (aka his parent's house) was not a good idea. Esme could pick up on that shit like she had some sort of sixth sense.

"I just don't understand why we need a new TV. You got the one we have like a year ago."

"Three years ago."

I rubbed my forehead and forced a smile on my face.

"Ok so explain to me why we need a new one? It's a lot of money Edward."

He finally released one hand from the steering wheel and turned his head to look at me once we reached a red light.

"Bella the quality of the TVs have changed so much in the past three years. The HD quality they have now is beyond amazing."

I nodded my head and kept looking at him.

"And does the new HD quality justify spending what, like three grand on a new TV?"

"It wouldn't be three grand Bella. They have the one I want for like fifteen hundred."

"Fifteen hundred dollars is a lot of money. We just bought the house and paid off my car. I just don't know. Plus we have Christmas coming up."

"Money isn't the issue and you know it. My parents would help if we needed it."

See this is where spoiled only-child Edward starts to piss me off. We are adults, and running to Mommy dearest anytime we want a new toy shouldn't be an option.

"Edward we are not asking your parents for money. If you want the TV, then we will pay for it ourselves."

"So we can get it then?"

"If you really want it then fine, but its counting as your Christmas present." I crossed my arms across my chest and shook my head as he whooped and did little fist pumps of victory. I shook my head and closed my eyes. Sometimes, living with Edward is literally like living with a five year old.

"It will be great Bella! We can invite the guys over to play games on it with the Xbox! And when bowl games start we can have parties!"

"Parties?"

"Yeah it will be great."

I leaned my head against the window and half listened as he droned on about what he would be doing with his new toy. I really didn't mind his friends coming over; they were actually really nice guys. But parties meant me cleaning for hours before they came over, and then starting all over again when they left.

As he turned into the driveway of his parent's ostentatious house I groaned. I hadn't spoken to Esme since the whole digital get- down sexcapade, but I knew that in true Esme fashion she would be pretending nothing had ever happened. In the land of Esme, denial was served daily. along with a nice glass of wine and a Prozac on the side. She ignored any and all problems in her life hoping they would eventually go away on their own. Edward said she just liked to "focus on the now," but my opinion was that she was just fucking crazy.

Edward's father, Carlisle, was the polar opposite of Esme. I could say with all honesty that he was one of the nicest men I had ever met. He was always very open and inviting, never making you feel judged or under appreciated. He was just a nice guy, and thankfully that had rubbed off on his son.

Growing up Cullen meant that you had the best of everything. Edward went to one of the most prestigious private schools in the area where he was obviously the best at everything. He made excellent grades, was the star athlete, dated the most beautiful girl, was homecoming king, and prom king. Esme just got off on that shit too. In her mind, she was the June Cleaver of Seattle, and Edward's perfection only made their family more Leave it to Beaver-esque. Only unlike June Cleaver, Esme had a maid and a cook. Yadira, the Cullen's maid, had been cleaning Edward's apartment, and then our house once he moved. I immediately put a stop to that shit once we got married.

If the Cullen's are the perfect family, then my family is nothing but dysfunctional. We are the Bunkers compared to them. I am from a very small town about two hours away from Seattle. My father, Charlie, is the Police Chief and very much a guy's guy. He enjoys all things outdoorsy, from sports to hunting. And the first time Esme had stepped foot into my parent's small house and saw the deer heads mounted on the wall, I knew she was one step away from calling PETA on my father. Renee, my mom, God love her, is crazy. But she admits it. She tends to need to be taken care of. as opposed to being the one who took care of us. But, she made life interesting and she is one of my best friends. My brother Emmett is loud and obnoxious and continually makes an ass of himself. It's like he has no filter what so ever. and unintentionally insults people, frequently.

In high school I tried to just survive. I wasn't the popular girl everyone tried to date; I was the shy girl who guys stayed away from because my dad was a cop and my older brother threatened anyone who so much as looked in my direction. I made good grades, but had to work my butt of to get them. I had one best friend, Alice, and together we pretty much ignored everyone else and just trudged our way through four years of perpetual bullshit.

I met Edward in college and I have no problem admitting that the first time I met him, I thought he was a complete and utter ass. But he was an ass that I was automatically head over heels in love with. In the beginning, he was cocky and so self assured that I just wanted to hit him upside the head with my textbook. We had been assigned as lab partners for our chemistry class, and argued about every single aspect of our assignments.

For two months I hated him. I complained non-stop to Alice, who just gave me her all knowing smile and shrugged her shoulders. She had told me from the first day I mentioned Edward, she knew I would marry him. I told her she was full of shit.

I had given Edward my phone number, email address, and AIM screen name in case he needed to get a hold of me for chemistry projects. But, he had never done more than send me an occasional text message asking me to meet him at the lab.

Alice and I had gone out to see some guy she knew sing at this sleazy bar one night. It was the type of bar where you have middle aged women in spandex, and middle aged men fawning over the only two women in there under the age of thirty. I turned down more men that night than I had ever done in my entire life, half of which I knew were married.

When I got home that night, I sent an instant message to my brother telling him about our evening. It wasn't until after I had gone into great detail about one particular man with roaming hands, that I realized I had not sent the IM to Emmett, but to Edward instead.

Before he could respond, I shut my computer down and shook my head at my own stupid mistake. Less than five minutes later, I got a phone call from Edward asking me out on a date. Turns out Edward was the jealous type, and Alice was right all along.

I pretty much knew from the beginning that I loved Edward. I loved his goofy crooked smile, the way his hair was all over the place, and how his eyes changed to different shades of green depending on his mood. I loved how he stuck the tip of his tongue out when he was really concentrating on something. But mostly, I loved how we made an "us".

Edward and I were together for six years before he finally asked me to marry him. I first broached the topic on our three year anniversary. We both knew that neither one of us were ready for marriage at twenty one. But after two more years passed I began to get a little worried.

I had met Edward's parents, and knew that in his mother's eyes I was nothing more than a distraction in her son's life. When I met Tanya, I was blindsided to see how obvious Esme was about wanting the two of them to get back together. As another year passed, I couldn't help but worry that I just wasn't good enough for Edward. I didn't come from a family with money who vacationed in Europe. I worked two jobs to pay off my student loans. And I sure as hell wasn't what Esme deemed appropriate for her only child to marry and start a family with.

But, in Edward's eyes I was. He didn't see me as an in between girlfriend. He saw me as forever, and I saw him as Mr. Right and my happily ever after.

"Bells?"

I shook my head and saw Edward standing outside the car with my door open. I undid my seat belt and took his hand as he helped me out of the car.

"Sorry. I was just thinking."

He shut the car door and we walked hand in hand up the pathway leading to the house.

"Thinking about what?"

I smiled and leaned into him "Us."

As he leaned down to kiss me, the front door flew open and Esme stood there smiling at us.

"Hi kids!"

I smirked at the stupid little apron she was wearing and hoped it passed as a smile.

"Hi mom." Edward laughed at what I assumed was also the apron, but I decided to keep my mouth shut.

I stepped forward to hug her, but she grabbed Edwards hand and pulled him into the house leaving me standing on the front porch. I closed my eyes and ground my teeth together. In all honesty if I didn't know any better, I would say Esme had a thing for her son.

I walked into the house and shut the door behind me. I could hear Esme's high pitch squawk coming from the den, mixed with another voice I couldn't quite place. I shrugged out of my jacket and hung it on the coat rack. As I straightened my shirt, I saw Carlisle heading down the hallway towards me.

"It's Bella!" He smiled and pulled me into a hug.

"Were you expecting someone else?" I laughed as he handed me a full glass. My nose crinkled at the strong smell of alcohol, but took a sip anyway.

He laughed as I began coughing at how strong he had made my drink, and he patted me on the back.

"I made it strong. You will need it."

"Oh no."

I looked around his shoulder towards the den wondering what exactly he would be preparing me for.

"Esme invited another guest for dinner."

"Who?"

"Tanya."

Esme was Satan. She was Satan in a tailored Talbot's pantsuit and stupid frilly apron. She had to be eliminated. Thoughts of hitting her with my car, or maybe even seeing if Carlisle had any drugs in the house I could slip in her food or drink filled my head. I downed the rest of the drink as Edward's father watched with a look of shock on his face.

"Bella, I made these really strong."

I ignored his protests and finished the drink. I handed him the empty glass back as my chest burned from the alcohol. If I was going to make it through this night, I would need a little medicating, and my happy pills just weren't going to cut it. I squared my shoulders and marched down the hallway to the den.

You know those moments in your life where you see a situation playing out in your head like a movie with soundtrack and all? This was one of those moments. I could hear the lyrics to a particular song running through my head. The thumping of the base matched my footsteps and pushed me into a room. where in my mind I was facing two of the worst creatures imaginable. I instinctively cracked my knuckles as I rounded the corner. and marched into the den. The cackling laughter of my mother in law made my stomach lurch.

I eyed the large room to find my husband sitting in one of the oversized leather chairs laughing along with Tanya. who was sitting on the ottoman in front of him with her perfectly manicured hand resting on his knee. You've got to be fucking kidding me.

I smiled and ground my teeth together as I made my way over to Edward. He stood and kissed the top of my head before retelling the amusing story Tanya had apparently just told. While he prattled on. I eyed the woman standing in front of me.

I took notice of her ridiculously shiny blonde hair that was perfectly styled. Her makeup looked flawless and timeless, and it matched her straight out of In Style magazine clothes. I wanted to kick her in her in her stupid Barbie like face.

"Bella, how nice to see you again."

As she hugged me I patted her back a little harder than necessary, but smiled and batted my eyelashes at her as she straightened up. Take that Barbie.

Edward handed me another drink, one I am sure wasn't near as strong as I needed, but I immediately downed it. Carlisle chuckled under his breath as I handed the empty glass back to Edward and asked for another one. He winked at me before excusing himself to check on dinner.

"Bella you know there was alcohol in that right?"

"Yes Edward. I know." I took his full glass and took a large drink from it.

Edward took his glass back from me and replaced it with water.

"Easy killer. You haven't eaten all day."

I started to say something when Esme's chipper ass voice interrupted me.

"Oh Bella are you dieting? I think that's a good choice, especially with the holidays coming up."

My mouth fell open, and all I could so was stand there looking like an idiot while my husband rubbed my back soothingly.

"Mother."

"Well all know she has a sweet tooth. All I'm saying is why not think ahead."

She waved her hands nonchalantly and smiled when Carlisle returned and told us dinner was ready.

As everyone made their way into the dining room I pulled on Edward's arm keeping him back. Once room was empty I grabbed both of his arms and looked him square in the eye.

"What the hell is your mother thinking?"

He shook his head while bringing his hand up to cup my face. I closed my eyes and leaned my head into his hand while taking deep breaths.

"Bella you know how she is. Just ignore her."

"Edward, she hates me. I can't just ignore that."

"She doesn't hate you, she is just…"

I nodded my head at his loss of words.

"Exactly! She is out of her ever loving mind inviting Tanya here and not even telling us!"

He laughed and ran his thumb slowly over my cheek.

"Bella, I love you. And there is no need for you to be worried or jealous of Tanya."

I nodded my head, and after a quick make out session that was interrupted by his mother's incessant throat clearing, we made it to the dining room.

I kept telling myself that if I could just keep my mouth shut for the next hour and half that I would be golden. I would just smile and nod politely when anyone said something. My plan worked for about twenty seconds.

As we ate, Edward and his father talked quietly at one end of the table while Satan and Barbie were doing everything in their power to make my life a living hell. I shoveled food into my mouth as they talked about the good ole days when Edward and Tanya had been dating.

I kept refilling my wine glass and knew I would pay for this shit tomorrow. But at this moment I didn't care. I was annoyed and well beyond pissed off. I deserved sainthood for the shit these two were putting me through.

"And Esme, remember when you caught the two of us making out in the pool while we were on that vacation in Mexico?"

I held onto the side of my chair while their obnoxious giggles continued.

"I knew the two of you weren't off looking at sea turtles. I wasn't born yesterday."

I downed the rest of my sixth glass of wine and bit my lip to keep from screaming at the two of them.

"Well at least you caught us in the pool and not in the bedroom right?"

That was it. I couldn't handle any more of this horseshit.

"Edward and I fucked in the pool in your backyard Esme."

I heard Carlisle coughing as he choked on his food. I heard Edward's fork drop onto his plate and the bounce off and land on the floor. I continued smiling as Esme gasped and held her hand over her mouth, while Tanya just stared at me.

"It was last fourth of July. Everyone was watching the fireworks and we created little fireworks of our own. Remember Edward? What was it? Like four times right?"

I picked up another bottle of wine to pour myself another glass, but Edward pulled it out of my hand.

"I think you've had enough Bella."

I glared at my husband and reached across him and took the bottle back.

"Well excuse me, but if I am going to have to sit here and listen to your mother retell the stories of the good ole days of when you felt up little miss preteen Barbie over there, then I believe I am entitled to drink more than usual."

"Excuse me." Tanya dropped her napkin on the table and made to stand up from her chair.

"Oh dear don't leave."

I glared as Esme's hand stopped her from standing up.

"No Tanya stay." I stood up and threw my napkin on the table.

Edward grabbed for my hand but I pulled it out of his grasp.

"You are obviously more welcome in this house than I am. I'll find my own way home. No need to ruin your evening with my husband."

"Bella stop."

Edward stood and grabbed my arm, making me topple backwards and drop the bottle of wine which covered Tanya in a deep burgundy liquid. She gasped and flew back from the table.

I started to laugh as Esme blotted Tanya's shirt with her napkin, but as I opened my mouth I stopped. My throat suddenly felt numb and my mouth began to water in a weird way. I knew that feeling, and knew I had maybe three seconds to get out of this room before I made a huge mess.

Edward's hands were still clamped around my arms, and as I tried to pull away from him Esme stepped between Tanya and me. I tried to swallow back what was coming, but it didn't help.

"Edward…"

I moaned and then lurched forward, puking all over my mother in law's tailored Talbot's pantsuit and custom made hardwood floors.

As I kept heaving I felt Edward behind me with his arm around my waist, while his other hand held my hair back. I heard Esme screaming. She tried to climb over Tanya to get away from my projectile vomit, and I couldn't help but feel a little satisfied.

I slumped back against Edward once I had finished throwing up. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against his chest and smiled slightly to myself.

Take that Satan.

**Again..this is dedicated to my husband. Who spent an hour arguing with me about the correct way to mop. I love you.**

**I also have to dedicate this to my BFF... who never reads fanfic.. but we survive horrible inlaws together and I love her. Allyface... this is for you!!**

**Di... LMAO.. you are just too awesome for words and I heart you.**


	3. Apology

**As always A/N at the end!!!! (It's long but worth it at the end… you get a treat!!)**

***** There was a VERY specific song we used when writing the sex scene. So if you really wanna get in the mood download Closer by Kings of Leon and put that shit on repeat while you read the steamy smutness. Plus KoL just kickass.**

**That being said.. I am not responsible for creamage and the damage it might cause.**

**Three weeks After The Wedding**

"Bella you are a big fat liar!"

I laughed as my best friend threw a piece of ice at me from across the small table we were sitting at. She laughed along with our other friend Angela at the story I had just been telling them.

"Alice I am not lying."

She narrowed her grey eyes and leaned across the table to stare at me. She claimed to have some bullshit super natural power to tell when people were lying. The scary thing was the she was normally right.

"There is no way you had seven orgasms in one night."

Angela looked between the two of us with a faint pink blush covering her cheeks. It was sometimes so painfully obvious that she was a preacher's daughter, and that Alice and I were corrupting the hell out of her.

I took a sip of my coffee and shrugged my shoulders "I never said it was one night. It went on into the morning too."

"Well maybe I should just start calling him Cumward instead of Edward then."

I watched as my best friend laughed so hard that the people sitting behind us looked to see what was going on. I loved Alice; she was honestly one of the best parts of my life. Next to Edward she was my soul mate.

Alice had been married for three years to Jasper Whitlock, the guy she had dragged me to go see at that sleazy bar. Jasper was the exact opposite of Alice, but in the best ways. Jasper was calm and collected, where Alice could easily fly off the handle about anything. Jasper rang in at about 6'3", while Alice hardly made it to 5'. And the two of them together were so cute that it made you want to puke.

Angela was new to our little duo, well new in the fact that I hadn't known her my entire life. When Alice and Jasper got married, Angela and I had become roommates and fast friends. She was more conservative than Alice and I, but was great at balancing our dominating personalities out. Angela had been dating Ben Cheney, Edward's friend, for the past three months and was still in that deliriously happy stage. We were all placing bets on how long that shit would last before she was ready to punch him in the face.

"So how is Satan?" Alice asked once she had calmed down.

I smirked at the newly appointed nickname for my mother in law and shrugged my shoulders.

"I haven't talked to her since that night."

"Has Edward?" Angela asked as she stirred her coffee.

"Well yeah! She can't go one day without talking to him."

Alice shifted in her chair and shook her head.

"What?"

"Nothing…" She sighed and twisted a piece of spiky black hair between her fingers.

"Oh bullshit Alice. What?"

Again she sighed and shook her head before straightening up in her chair and looking at me.

"It just seems like Esme is all up in your husband's nuts, and I find that a little disturbing."

I had taken a drink at the exact moment she decided to speak, and unfortunately for her and Angela my coffee spewed all over the two of them. I really needed to work on controlling my spewage.

As Angela wiped the coffee off her jeans she shook her head at Alice.

"Alice you shouldn't say things like that!"

I started laughing again as Alice gave our poor sheltered friend a look of utter shock.

"Me?!? Angela she is like obsessed with her son. It's weird!"

"Maybe she is just over protective."

"Or maybe she is just really fucking crazy…" I patted Angela's hand and laughed when Alice reached over the table to give me a high five.

We all jumped as Alice's cell phone started vibrating. She picked it up and began reading what I assumed was a text message.

"Well never mind taking me home Bella. Jasper is at your house."

I sat my coffee down and looked at her.

"Why is Jasper at my house?"

Alice shrugged her shoulders and put her phone back on the table "He just said that Edward had invited him over."

"Yeah Ben's over there too. Did you not know they were coming over?"

I shook my head and pulled my phone out to see if I had missed any calls or text messages from Edward, but my phone was blank. I didn't remember him telling me he was planning anything, but blew it off. He was probably just showing off his new toy, which now took up half of one of our living room walls.

Alice and I pulled onto our street, and I blinked several times at how many cars were sitting in front of our house. I recognized a few of them like Jasper's and Ben's. I groaned when I saw my brother's jeep, which was conveniently blocking the driveway.

"Great Em's here."

Alice laughed and pulled her cell phone out, and I watched as she dialed Emmett's number. When his loud ass voice answered she jerked the phone away from her ear.

"Emmett, come outside and move your freaking car!"

I started laughing when I heard him ask who he was talking to. I grabbed the phone out of Alice's hands and held it up to my ear.

"This is your sister! Now get your ass out here and unblock my driveway!" I flipped the phone shut and handed it back to her.

"I think Cumward figured out how to set up the surround sound. Did you hear how freaking loud it was in there?"

I laughed again at his new nickname and honked when my brother flipped me off before climbing into his enormous jeep. I still think he must be compensating for something else with that monstrous thing.

I pulled my car into the driveway, and was following Alice up the front walk when I felt a huge pair of arms wrap around me before throwing me over his shoulder.

"Emmett! God! Let me down!"

He chuckled and sat me down.

"Hey Izzy." He ruffled my hair and I glared up at him. He knew I hated that fucking nickname.

He made a move to grab Alice but she kicked him in the shin before he had a chance. I laughed as he mumbled something about PMS and went inside.

I literally felt my jaw drop open when I saw my once clean living room, filled to the brim with people. Half of which I didn't even know. I scanned the room and saw Edward yelling like a maniac at the TV screen while jumping around with a controller in his hand.

"What the hell?" Alice stared at the fucked up form of debauchery being displayed in my living room and shook her head.

There were people everywhere, standing and talking, sitting and drinking. Men and women were all over my brand new unpacked house.

I pushed my way past a group of guys who were cheering Edward on to victory, and groaned when I saw they had sat their sweating beer bottles on my antique end table.

I tapped one of them on the shoulder and handed him a coaster that had been less than 2 inches from his bottle to begin with.

"Please use a coaster."

He gave me a look of utter annoyance before taking the coaster and sliding it under his bottle.

"Sorry for interrupting you, but that table is an antique. My great grandfather made it. You know with his bare hands and all."

"You live here?" He shouted over the screaming and loud ass music.

"Hell yes she lives here. This is Edward's wife." I smirked as Alice poked the guy in the chest which made him take a step backwards.

I shook my head and pushed through the group of people and waved my hand at Edward who was too busy shooting someone or something on the screen to notice me. I sighed and looked around the room.

"Edward." I waved my hand again, but got nothing.

Ben, who was standing behind him, tapped his shoulder but he brushed it off.

"EDWARD!" I yelled across the room.

He finally broke his gaze with the TV and looked up at me.

"Oh hey baby!" He waved quickly and then started yelling at the TV again. "Oh fuck you dude! I will so kick your ass for that."

"Edward it's 7:30."

"Huh? Yeah babe I'll let the dog out as soon as I KILL THIS JACKASS!"

I watched as my husband and the future father of my children made fake gunfire noises at the screen while screaming things like "TAKE THAT!" and "HELLS YES!"

We didn't even have a freaking dog.

I felt my uterus cringe and shrink up into my body.

Edward Anthony Cullen was a very intelligent man. He had graduated at the top of his class, and was now a very promising architect. But looking at him now, with mustard all over the front of his shirt, doing those stupid fist pumps of victory again, it was hard to believe that he was even capable of holding down a job at 7-11.

"Edward. Can I please speak to you? Now."

The change in my tone of voice must have grabbed his attention, because he handed Ben the controller and followed me into the kitchen. The few guys who had been standing around saw the look on my face and quickly made their escape.

I rounded on my husband and saw him giving me that stupid crooked smile while rubbing the back of his neck.

"How was your day?" He asked hopefully, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"Edward what the hell?" I put one hand on my hip and waved the other around to indicate I was talking about the assortment of uncoolness in my house.

"Oh come on Bella it's just a few people. And I totally told you I was going to do this."

"You said a few people Edward. Not a full out party on a Sunday night."

"You are really over reacting." He crossed his arms across his chest.

Yeah, I was done. I walked around him as he blurted out hurried apologies and half ass attempts to kiss my ass.

"Bella!" I heard Alice call over the crowd and made my way back over to her.

"Hey B." Jasper smiled and pulled me into a hug. "Sorry for springing this on you. I didn't know you didn't know."

"Jasper it isn't your fault."

"Well we are going to head out. I have to be at work at six."

I nodded at my best friend and hugged her tightly "If this doesn't end soon I might be coming to spend the night."

She laughed and I hugged Jasper goodbye.

Once they left I looked helplessly around the room and just decided to barricade myself in our bedroom. On my way, I found Emmett who was shamelessly hooking up with some blonde girl on my couch, and told him goodbye before pushing myself through the crowd.

The door to our bedroom was shut, which I was extremely thankful for. I was weird about people being in here without me. I pushed the door open as I was pulling my coat off, but stopped halfway through the door when I saw Mike Newton walking out of our bathroom buttoning his fly.

"Oh hey!" He waved nonchalantly and picked his beer bottle up off of our dresser.

I gritted my teeth, muttered a hello, and waved back.

"Sorry, had to empty the third leg. But don't worry I wasn't going through your stuff or anything."

See that is the reason why Mike fucking Newton will forever be a bachelor and a complete douche. Girls don't want to hear about anything related to a third leg and a toilet. And I could pretty much guarantee you that he sure as hell did go through our stuff, most certainly looking for my underwear drawer. Mike Newton was officially Captain Douchebag.

Once he left I shut the door behind him and fell onto our bed. It was 8:00 on a Sunday night and my husband was throwing a kegger. I thought that once we got married there would be dinner parties with wine and grown up conversations about the economy. Ok, maybe that was taking it a bit far because I personally knew nothing about the economy, but this was not at all what I had pictured.

When Edward had mentioned inviting "the guys" over to see the TV, I didn't think he meant a house full of people I didn't even know. Plus none of the scenarios I envisioned had my brother making out with some random girl on my new couch.

I heard the bedroom door open and realized I must had fallen asleep. I rolled over and saw Edward tiptoeing around the room while pulling his clothes off, and of course not using the laundry hamper that was two feet away from him.

"What time is it?" I grumbled as I rubbed my eyes.

"It's late. I didn't mean to wake you up."

I sat up and looked at the clock which was a bright and shiny with a 1:00 am. Nice.

He walked to the side of the bed and kissed my forehead before going to brush his teeth. I didn't care what kind of toothpaste he used, it wasn't going to cover up the smell of stale beer and cigars that covered him.

I stood up groggily and pulled my clothes off before picking up Edward's and throwing them all in the hamper. I pulled the covers back on the bed and slid under the sheets. Loving the way the cold material felt against my skin, I snuggled deeper into my pillow. I heard Edward turn the bathroom light off and make his way to his side of the bed.

I have to admit that no matter how pissed off I was at my husband, it made my heart start pounding when he snuggled behind me and buried his face in the back of my hair. That shit got me every damn time and he knew it.

"Mmmm" My husband moaned into my hair as his hand splayed across my stomach and slowly circled around my belly button. I bit my lip as he brought his leg up in between mine causing the most wonderful sort of friction.

"You're not still mad at me are you?" He kissed behind my ear, down my neck and to my shoulder.

Edward Cullen was a cocky asshole and I loved him for it.

"Yes Edward I am still mad." I tried to make myself sound convincing, but as his very talented fingers began circling my nipple I knew I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell. I felt him smile against my shoulder and laugh.

"You don't sound very convincing."

He pulled me onto my back and stared down at me as he brushed stray pieces of hair off my face.

"Bella I am very sorry that I had a party without talking to you about it."

I snorted at how serious he tried to make himself sound. I knew he probably meant a very small portion of that apology, but feeling how hard he was against my leg told me he really just wanted to get laid.

"You'll have to do better than that Edward." I leaned my head back as he kissed down my neck and across my chest. He continued his trail of soft open mouth kisses down my sternum to my stomach, and I had to admit that this was much, much better.

"I promise I'll clean the house." He hummed against my stomach before licking around my belly button.

My fingers instinctively wound themselves through his hair and my smug husband knew he had won. He slid his hands down my stomach to my hips and lithely pulled my panties off.

I smiled in anticipation of him kissing back up my stomach, but jumped as his tongue and lips left soft kisses on my hip bone. He smirked, and I couldn't help but moan as his lips and hot breath tickled my skin.

As his lips traced down my hip I began squirming in anticipation of what he was doing. His hands held my hips in place and I moaned loudly as his nose skimmed across my inner thigh.

"Are you still mad?" He whispered against my skin before following the trail his nose had just made with his lips.

He was teasing me, and I fucking loved it. I pulled his hair which made him look up at me, and that was probably the single sexiest thing I had ever seen. He was giving me that amazing crooked smile as his thumbs lightly traced over my hips.

"Are you still mad?"

All I could do was shake my head no, and hope and pray that he was too drunk to remember how easily I had given in tomorrow.

He was still smiling at me, and the hot breath escaping between his lips fanned out where his lips had touched me only moments ago. It made goose bumps rise up on my skin, and Edward felt them under his hands. He looked down, following the path they made from my hips to down in between my legs. I released the grip I had on his hair, and he placed his lips on my thigh once again. I writhed under his touch. His hands pushed me into the bed with more pressure, his way of telling me to stop moving.

I complied with his silent demand, and stilled my movements. The only thing I couldn't still was the pounding in my chest. My heart felt like it was bursting out of my skin. The adrenaline coursing through me from being so utterly pissed off at him, and from the anticipation of what he was going to do with those silky lips of his, was making me crazy.

His lips moved up my thigh at an excruciatingly slow pace. My body trembled under his touch, while my hands fisting into tight balls at my sides.

His tongue made contact with the skin on my thigh, and I took in a ragged breath. I could feel his lips curl into a smile, and I tried not to squirm.

He was so cocky. God, it's like he knew he could just push my buttons, and he thought he could just get away with...

OH.

MY.

GOD.

His tongue pressed itself flat against me, and as he drug it upward he thrust it out into a point as it came in contact with my clit. He repeated his actions once more, and I could no longer contain the moan building up in my chest.

"Unngghh," was what came out of my mouth. I should have been embarrassed at the noises he was eliciting from me, but I was too far gone to the sensation to care. He probably got off on it anyway.

He kept his tongue pointed, dragging it up and down over my clit. My back arched up off of the bed, desperately trying increase the pressure bubbling up in the pit of my stomach. He moved his hands, dragging them down behind me to cup my ass. He used his strength to pull my body closer to his face, and a low growl passed through his lips, sending vibrations through me.

I started moving my body back and forth, adding to the movements he was making with his warm, wet tongue. I was panting, and I could hear my blood pulsing through my veins, but I didn't care. I didn't care that I was fucking his face. I wanted more.

I was desperate. I needed him to keep going. I would die if he stopped. He didn't though. His forearms strained beneath my thighs, and he was using my steady rocking to guide when to pull me into him. I moaned with each flick of his tongue, and I knew I was on the cusp of a powerful orgasm.

It was right there. I could feel it. I needed him to keep going. It was coming closer with every stroke of his tongue. I couldn't stand it any longer. I moved my left hand from where it was fisting at the sheets on my side, and brought it up to the hollow of my throat. Without hesitation, I slid it down over my left breast, pushing my palm down roughly over it. I didn't stop there, though. I pushed it further down my body, and when it came to rest on my inner thigh, I felt the rough stubble of Edward's cheek.

He brought his left hand up under his chin and grazed my hand with it. Without stopping the steady back and forth rocking of my body, and without letting up on the pressure with which his tongue was rubbing my clit, he slipped the very tip of finger inside of me. I cried out in pleasure, needing more of his touch. I pressed myself closer to him, and my body quivered under another lap of his tongue. My body exploded, and I came harder than I ever had before.

He pulled me further towards him with his strong hands to make another pass with his tongue, and I tried to jerk away. My nerves were ablaze and the sensation was too much. I tried to scramble away from him, but he didn't release his hold on me.

"Stop, stop Edward. It's too... I can't..."

Showing no mercy, he pressed his entire tongue flat and drug up it over me again. He pointed the tip and ran it over my clit once again, and I thrashed around, desperately trying to get away from his firm grip. When he thrust his tongue inside of me, I screamed out.

"FUCK, EDWARD," I moaned.

I opened my eyes, and when I saw him looking up at me from between my legs, I exploded with my second orgasm. I could feel myself tighten around his tongue, and I arched my back even higher underneath his muscular forearms.

I knew there was a reason why this man owned me. Yes, owned me. He can get away with anything. He can have anything he wants. Anything.

I fell back against the bed with my chest heaving and my legs still shaking. My husband… there were no words. Nothing could describe how I felt. My mind was blank and I seriously doubted I could form a coherent thought, let alone a coherent sentence.

My hands ran their way over Edward's shoulders, and I felt him moving up my body. I smiled stupidly and kept my eyes closed. Before I could catch my breath he grabbed my hips and thrust himself into me.

My entire body lurched forward while my legs instinctively wrapped around him. I opened my mouth to moan, grunt, something. But, absolutely nothing came out. My hands fisted in the sheets beside me.

Edward held on tightly to my hips as he sat up on his knees and pulled me closer to him. I grabbed his arms as he lifted me off the bed and practically impaled his skin with my nails when he leaned over my body, and ran the tip of his tongue from the top of my bellybutton to the hollow of my throat.

"God I love you." His voice was ragged and so utterly fuckable.

One hand continued to guide my hips as the other ran up the base of my back and lifted me up against him. He ran his fingers through the back of my hair and gently pulled my head back. My thighs tightened around him as he nipped and sucked on my neck, and his hold on my hair tightened.

"Edward…" I was begging, absolutely begging for him. My body was aching for another release while every nerve ending in my body seemed frayed. I couldn't help but jump every time he would push back into me, and graze against my already sensitive clit.

"What Bella? Tell me what you want." He groaned into my neck and I felt my toes curl as he pulled me harder on top of him.

"Harder, please. Harder."

He released his hold on my hair and slowly pulled me off of him. I couldn't help but whimper, but as he held my hips and turned me so that my back was to him I bit my lip.

Without missing a beat he pulled me by the hips back to meet him. I moaned his name as he buried his face in my neck. I reached behind me and wrapped one arm around his neck while the other held onto his thigh.

I could hear our skin slapping together, and mixed with the most delicious moans Edward was giving against my neck, it only added fuel to the fire. I leaned forward on my elbows holding on so tightly to my pillow that my fingers hurt.

Edwards arm wrapped around my waist as one hand slipped between my legs and began to massage my clit. I screamed into the pillow as every muscle in my body tightened.

"Fuck Bella."

He applied more pressure onto my clit and I pushed back against him as another orgasm ripped through my body. I closed my eyes and screamed out his name as white dots and fucking unicorns appeared behind my eyes.

I started to fall against the bed but Edward pulled me up against him.

"Again." He growled into my neck and I practically came again.

He kept his arm around my waist as he leaned over me, balancing us with his other hand against the headboard.

I reached out to hold onto the headboard and pushed myself back against him. I could feel his hot sticky breath on my shoulder, and wanted to scream as he moaned and grunted with every thrust.

His grip around my waist tightened and I knew he was close. His breath was becoming uneven and his thrusts more erratic.

"Edward!" I moaned and threw my head back on his shoulder. I could feel myself getting closer, my muscles tightening and my legs shaking. With one final thrust I could feel him releasing, and couldn't help but follow. He shuddered behind me as my muscles clenched around him.

He let go of my waist, but gently ran his fingers over my clit. My legs quivered, and as he sent me into another round of the most amazing orgasms I'd ever had, he released the headboard and gently rubbed my inner thigh.

I was so unbelievable spent there was absolutely nothing I could do. I couldn't make my body function in way. I was still moaning and whimpering as Edward slowly lifted me off of him and laid me down.

He pulled the blankets up over us, and once he laid down behind me, he pulled me closer to him. He lazily drew patterns on my leg with his fingers and sighed into my hair.

As I started to feel myself falling asleep I knew two things. One, that there was no way Edward was going to forget how easily I had given in tonight. And two, that was the best fucking apology I had ever gotten.


	4. Reddiwhip and Vibrating Phonecalls

**Morning after the Prologue**

As a girl, your best friend is irreplaceable. She is the person who knows you inside and out, and loves you anyway. She will go along with the crazy ideas you have, like to start painting the apartment at 2 am. She will make a run to 7-11 and stock up on ho-ho's and zingers because you just need a fat day. She is the one person who will tell you that your ass does indeed look fat in those jeans, and help you find something else. I love my best friend. Alice was always my go to person, no matter what. But there were times, like right now, that I just wanted to lock her in the trunk of my car for making me do the "adult thing".

I was laying on the very edge of our bed, sickened by the thought of how empty it was without Edward, with the covers pulled over my head. I had started humming to drown out the sound of Alice's constantly playing ringtone, but it didn't do any good. I could either turn it off and hope she didn't send the police to look for me, or I could actually answer it. My hand snaked its way out from the blankets and felt around the bedside table until it landed on the phone.

"Hello?" God I sounded horrible, like an eighty year old smoker. My throat was horribly dry and felt raw from all the crying I had done the night before.

"I will be there in 10 minutes. I expect you to at least have brushed your teeth."

Alice's perky voice make my eyes twitch.

"Alice, I'm really not up for this."

"Well the way I see it Bella, you have two choices. You can get your ass out of bed, and use the door chain to lock the door so I can't get in. Or, you can deal with the fact that I have a key to your house and will be there in approximately 8 minutes."

I doubted that even a door chain would stop her; she would probably try to crawl through the mail slot or break a window.

"I'll brush my teeth but I'm not putting on a bra." I grumbled.

"How nice. See you in a few."

I hung up and just let the phone drop next to my head. This was going to suck, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I slowly lifted myself into a sitting position and stared around the room. It unnerved me how normal everything looked, like nothing had happened. Our bright blue curtains still looked cheerful as the sunlight filtered through them. The antique clock on the dresser was still ticking. Edward's shirt and tie were still thrown over the back of the chair. I closed my eyes and slipped back under the covers.

It was safer here, no bright colors or ticking clocks. Just the feel of cool cotton against my skin, the smell of laundry detergent, and if I turned my head towards his side of the bed I could almost smell him. I pulled the pillow closer to my face and squeezed my eyes shut.

I hated Edward. I hated and loved him all at once, and that just pissed me off even more.

I heard the front door open and shut but still didn't bother moving. If Alice was going to hurt me it would just be a welcome relief from the heartache. I heard her shuffling around the room and then felt the bed dip down as she sat by my legs.

"I brought you something." She slowly pulled the covers away from my face and smiled.

"I didn't brush my teeth." I just looked at her.

"Well, I didn't figure you would."

There are certain moments in a friendship when you know, I mean really know, that someone is your best friend. This was one of those moments.

As I sat up, I noticed that Edward's shirt and tie were no longer lying on the chair. I also noticed that instead of Alice sitting on the open space of Edward's side of the bed she chose to sit next to me. I loved her.

She handed me a large basket and smiled "I thought this would help."

In the basket was an assortment of goodies that only Alice would find appropriate for me. I was sure she had spent the better part of the morning hand picking these items out, for the sole purpose of making me feel better. There was cookie dough, two bottles of wine, Monty Python movies, and at least four Madonna CD's. After I had looked through the basket she handed me a large coffee and a bag that I was certain contained donut holes.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." She popped a donut hole in her mouth before taking one of the CD's and making her way to the stereo.

"So here's how this is going to go down. You cannot wallow in self pity all day. I've given you until noon and now you have to get up."

I started to interrupt her but she stopped me.

"You are going to take a shower and brush your teeth. You can put your PJ's back on if you want, but you are at least getting out of bed."

I was going to argue or put up a fight. I wanted to. But, really I just didn't have any fight left in me.

So I crawled out of bed, made my way to the bathroom, pulled my pajamas off and got into the shower. After I sat under the steam of the water for a while, I got out, brushed my teeth and dried my hair. It still didn't make me feel better.

"Better?" Alice asked as she finished making the bed.

"I guess."

I pulled open the closet and went straight for Edward's hoodie collection. I grabbed my favorite one and pulled it over my head. It felt comfortable, like home. I held the sleeves against my nose and took deep breaths of his scent mixed with laundry detergent. I missed him.

"Bella your cell phone's vibrating." Alice called from the bedroom.

"Who is it?"

When she didn't answer me, I stuck my head outside the closet.

"Hi Edward."

My heart stopped momentarily, only to start pounding in my chest a second later. Part of me wanted to hide in the closet and hope she wouldn't think to look for me. Another part wanted to rip the phone out of her hand and just hang up on him. But, a third part wanted her to talk to him, to find out if he was ok. God this was like high school all over again.

"She's getting dressed." Alice leaned around the bathroom door to look at me.

I waved my hands in front of me to signal that I did not want to talk to him, but she shook her head. I shut the closet door and leaned against it. I could tell she had moved into the bathroom and I think I started to hyperventilate. I couldn't talk to him. I mean what do you say in this situation? "Hey jackass! Thanks for making me believe that the past three years of our relationship was a complete and utter lie! I freaking love it when you break my heart!" I mean, conversations like that just didn't happen. Did they?

"Hold on." I heard her click a button, hopefully mute, before she started banging on the closet door.

"Bella you are not sixteen. Open the door."

"Alice, I can't talk to him."

"You have to. He's your husband." I opened the door and shook my head

"What am I supposed to say to him? I feel like I don't even know him…"

She sat on the closet floor next to me and handed me the phone.

"He just wants to make sure you're ok. And, you are eventually going to have to talk to him. I mean, unless you're thinking of skipping the wedding tomorrow all together."

I knew that wasn't an option. I couldn't just now show up for a wedding I was supposed to a bridesmaid in. With a shaking hand I took my cell phone from her and unmuted the phone call, before holding it up to my ear.

"Edward…"

**Four weeks after the honeymoon**

It had been four days since Peenfest'08 and our house was still a disaster. Seriously CNN should have been in here to interview survivors that were wrapped in foil blankets. It was horrible and I declared it a state of emergency.

I knew I should have held my ground, just waited it out until Edward got nauseated by the smell of skunked beer and days old trash. But, the problem with that plan was that Edward was a man, and therefore didn't give a shit.

I was still pissed me off, fucking great ass apology or not, but you eventually just get to a point where you just suck it up and do it yourself. So, being the good wife I am, I gave in and cleaned the entire house, alone. Because really, if Edward had done it, I would have just had to redo it again anyway.

As I threw my sixth bag of trash in the dumpster I made a decision. Yes, the sex had been freaking fantastic, but Cumward was no more. Cumward had been replaced by an evil twin known as Assward, the enemy. I smirked as I shut the back door behind me. Assward, Alice would love that shit.

~*~

It had been a long week, and as I sat in traffic Friday afternoon, I couldn't help but be incredibly giddy. I had a clean house, and all of the laundry was done. That meant no chores for the weekend, which meant sleeping in late. We were going out tonight and I was positive that the night would end with Cumward making reappearance. Mentally, I did a fist pump of victory.

I pulled into our driveway, and was glad to see Edward was already home. Maybe I could get a quickie in before Emmett and his new play toy got here. I threw the front door open and the smile I had been wearing since I left work disappeared faster than Paris Hilton's panties.

I threw my purse on the floor and slammed the front door so hard it made the windows rattle. My eyes followed the trail of clothes that lead to our living room. I kicked a pair of boxers out of the way as my eyes landed on the coffee table. It was covered in empty Moutain Dew cans, empty chip bags, the resulting crumbs, and what looked like a million starburst wrappers, that had been blown all over the living room by the fucking fan.

I heard an incessant clicking noise that I could recognize from a mile away, the sound a fucking Xbox controller makes when it's being used. I fisted my hands at my sides. There was my husband, in all his fucking naked glory, lying on our couch focused completely on the TV screen.

"Hey Babe."

The asshole didn't even bother looking up from the fucking TV screen. I did what any rational wife would do in this situation. I picked the remote up off the couch and chunked it as hard as I could at his face.

I won't even lie. When I heard that shit make contact I did a real fist pump of victory before I marched into our bedroom.

"Fuck Bella!" Edward yelled behind me.

"Not anytime soon you won't!" I called behind me.

"What is your problem?"

Edward had followed me into the bedroom and was standing there like a child with his hands on his hips. Which I have to say, being naked, was quiet funny and not at all impressive.

"Oh gee I don't know Edward! Maybe the fact that you had a party which trashed the house, and then promised me you would clean up and never did. Which left me to clean up after you and your idiotic friends until midnight last night, and now I come home tonight to find you playing that fucking game and the living room is trashed, AGAIN?"

"But I apologized." His indignant voice was really testing my patience. My hands twitched as I fought the urge to throw something else at him. I focused on taking my jewelry and shoes off as to not injure my husband and end up in the ER. Satan would just hold that shit against me for years to come.

"Did you do what you promised me you would do Edward?" I asked slowly, like I was speaking to a three year old.

He ignored my question.

"Well I didn't hear you complaining when I was apologizing Bella. Screaming yes, complaining no."

That stupid smirk did me in. My shoe, which had unfortunately been in my hand, went sailing at his body, along with another remote, and what I think might have been his iPod.

"You. Are. A. Fucking. Asshole. Edward!" I accented each word by throwing something at him.

He dodged and weaved around the crap I was throwing while trying to grab my arms.

"Bella stop!"

When I ran out of objects close enough to throw, I began hitting any part of his body I could reach, a rookie mistake. Hitting him meant that I was in close proximity to his body, which made it easier for him to grab me.

He gave an obnoxious laugh of triumph as his hands wrapped around my arms. I should have just given up. A normal person would analyze the situation accordingly, and be able to tell that since Edward was the larger person in this altercation that he would obviously come out on top. However, I was a pissed off wife, and therefore not a normal person. Plus, I refused to just fucking give in.

"Assward I am warning you!"

His face scrunched up in confusion for a split second before laughing.

"Resistance is futile Bella, and you know it!"

He pulled me closer to him, trying to wrap his arms all the way around me. Unfortunately, at the exact moment he pulled I was leaning around him. His pull wasn't met with any resistance, and that sent both of us flying.

Edward went backwards over the corner of the bed, as I did some sort of kung fu cartwheel next to him.

He kept his hold on my arms and I could tell he was attempting to pull me on top of him so that I wouldn't land on the floor, but of course that shit didn't work. My shin collided painfully with our dresser, which led to a rather lengthy bout of cussing on my part.

So there we were. Me, with my dress up around my hips with one shoe still on, and Edward completely naked, lying head to head and panting like we had just run a marathon. Random objects cluttered the floor around us. In less than two seconds, both of us were rolling around in fits of laughter.

"You are such an ass Edward." I shook my head and caught my breath.

"Don't you mean Assward?"

I started giggling again as he moved to lie down next to me. I briefly explained Alice's nickname and then my revision of it. He didn't seem impressed with Assward, but claimed that Cumward was now his alter ego, which sent me into another round of laughter.

I smiled as he sat up and examined my leg.

"You're going to have a bruise." He rubbed my leg soothingly while looking back over his shoulder at me.

"It's ok. You'll have several."

He gingerly touched his face where the remote had made contact and groaned. There was already a red whelp on his forehead but I still didn't feel guilty. He deserved it. But, I did give him a kiss before sending his ass back in the living room to clean that shit up.

"So why exactly do you play Xbox naked?" I couldn't help but ask as I redid my makeup and Edward got dressed.

"I don't know. It's just…I don't know, more comfortable maybe?"

"It's comfortable for you to sit naked on our couch in the middle of the day with all the blinds open?"

"Yes. Very." He gave my ass a quick slap before leaving the bathroom.

I immediately felt sorry for our neighbors and began wondering how I could rearrange the furniture away from the windows. Didn't they make something where you could childproof the blinds? It was worth looking into.

I heard someone banging on the front door, and knew that Emmett and his squeeze toy were here. I loved my brother, really. But, his taste in women made me want to gag. They were always the same - Blonde, big boobs, and extremely annoying. My toothbrush had more personality than his dates did, but the thought of trying to set him up with one of my friends made me tolerate it.

I could heard Edward and Emmett yucking it up and hurried. Leaving the two of them alone for extended periods of time was never ever a good idea, and often resulted in broken furniture.

"Izzy!"

Before I could protest his use of my annoying childhood nickname, he had wrapped me up into one of his massive bear hugs. Along with having no filter, he also had no sense of personal space.

"Emmett please don't call me that. You know I hate it." I pushed myself away from him.

"Dad calls you that."

Really, nothing had changed since we were six.

"Well thankfully you aren't my father, so knock it off."

I heard a small laugh from behind him and quirked my eyebrow. He stepped aside to reveal the same random chick he had been hooking up with at Peenfest. Although she had blonde hair, the rest of the similarities to my brother's previous dates ended there.

She was pretty, don't get me wrong, but she looked…normal. She was modestly dressed, not showing too much cleavage or the top of a thong. I had to admit I was impressed.

"Isabella, this is my girlfriend, Rosalie. Rosie this is my sister Isabella."

I heard Edward chuckle at the face I must have made when Emmett said "girlfriend." I normally wasn't so rude, but this shit was legendary. I don't think my brother had ever had a girlfriend, at least one that didn't require an air pump.

"I'm sorry." I blinked stupidly before shaking her hand. "I'm Bella, and this is Assward. Edward! This is my husband Edward!"

Emmett laughed so hard I was scared he might injure himself, while Edward just shook his head.

"Nice to meet you Rosalie," he said, extending his hand.

"It's nice to meet you Edward." Rosalie shook it timidly.

I was shocked, to say the least, at how normal this girl seemed. She was more like a librarian than a lesbian hooker, and it was throwing my whole 'Emmett is an asshole' thing out of whack.

"Would you like something to drink?"

Edward's manners thankfully took over, and I cleared my throat nervously once he and Emmett had retreated into the kitchen. I motioned for her to sit down and cringed a little when she chose the couch. All I could picture was Edward's naked ass flopped down playing his freaking game.

"Bella?"

God, I was probably making her feel like a freak show or something.

"Yeah?" I smiled with what I hoped was a polite and perky little sister smile.

She nervously tucked her hair behind her ears before folding her hands in her lap.

"I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted the other night. You know, at the party on Sunday."

"Oh." What the hell was she talking about? Edward hadn't told me anything had happened, and I really didn't see this girl using my brother as a stripper pole while people watched.

"You know. When you caught Emmett and I…kissing." She blushed.

I couldn't help but laugh. Not like a little tinkling dainty laugh, but like a full out fat man with a beer belly laugh. It was adorable that she was so concerned with me seeing her kiss my brother. I had seen a lot worse, but figured I would keep that shit to myself.

"It really isn't a big deal, I promise."

She seemed to relax a little, but her laugh was still nervous.

"I just figured you were mad. When he introduced me you got this look on your face that I didn't understand."

Wow. Seriously, where the hell did Emmett find her? She actually paid attention and took notice of her surroundings.

"No. Trust me, not mad. You're just, different from other girl's Emmett has introduced to us."

"Is that a bad thing?" She twisted her fingers together nervously and I decided right then and there this girl was going to be a very good change for my brother.

"Very, very good thing. Trust me."

She seemed to relax more which made me feel like less of a bitch. Rose really seemed like a nice girl and I hoped Emmett didn't fuck this one up.

~*~

Going out with friends was probably my most favorite thing in the world, besides having hot sex with my husband.

There was something about sitting around with good food, great conversations, and the best friends anyone could ever ask for. The thought of it made me giddy, especially around the holidays when people seemed to be more cheerful and exuberant. Add alcohol and great music to that equation, and I was a happy girl.

Our friends all offered something different to the group, and they were all irreplaceable. Alice was the sarcastic funny one, Jasper the mature adult. Emmett provided comedic relief. Ben and Angela were both the positive ones. Edward was the story teller, and I was the random smartass. Together, we made one hell of a party.

Dinner was, as always, interesting. Our poor waitress spent a good thirty minutes flirting with Edward, while Emmett just continued to egg her on. Alice predicted everyone's future, which always meant a good laugh. And even Rosalie seemed to be a good fit, which made me like her even more. If she could hold her own against this group, then there might be hope for her yet.

Jasper had scored us passes to a new club that a friend of his was DJing at. I normally was not a fan of clubs; the drinks were watered down and overpriced, but Alice had a way of convincing people to things. Normally, it involved threats of blackmail.

"Another one for the girls!" Alice shouted out above the music and held yet another shot glass up in the air.

"HERE, HERE!" Angela slammed her hand down on the table before all of us downed our drinks. Being the lightweights they were, Angela and Rosalie both coughed as the alcohol burned their lungs.

"Who the hell keeps calling Edward?" Alice asked, and pointed to Edward who was standing at the bar with the rest of the guys and putting his phone back in his jacket pocket.

"I'll give you three guesses. You'll only need one." I called back.

Esme had been calling Edward all damn night. He had taken the first two calls, which had been some asinine questions about potting soil, and decided that ignoring them from then on was the best option.

"Satan needs a life."

I laughed and nodded "Or a foot up her ass. Either one will do, really."

Alice clinked her glass against mine and smiled, "Well then here is to Satan getting a foot up her ass and you having uninterrupted sex more often."

"Cheers!" I took a drink and smiled as Edward's arms wrapped around my hips and pulled me back against him.

"And what exactly are you drinking to?"

"Sex, lots and lots of sex." I leaned back against him and smiled when I felt a twitch of excitement against my ass. Yes, Cumward would be making reappearance tonight fo sho.

I turned around slowly and ran my hands up and down his chest, while he pulled me closer to him. I was leaning in to kiss his neck when I felt his jacket pocket start vibrating. I pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw Esme's number on the screen. I flipped the phone open and hit ignore then made my way to his missed call list.

"God Edward! Twenty missed calls from your mother in less than two hours? That's pretty impressive."

He only grunted against my neck in response. I slowly pulled away from him and smiled.

"My, my, Edward Cullen. What if there is an emergency of some sorts?"

"The only emergency my mother ever has is running out of Prozac." He pulled me tighter against him and nuzzled my neck.

Oh, I loved it when Edward was drunk. Not only did he get very grabby and hands on, but he also made snippy remarks about his mother. It was a win/win situation for me and I planned on taking advantage of it.

"I think I should be in charge of your phone for the rest of the evening." I leaned back as his nose skimmed against my shoulder. "I'll keep it in a safe place."

His head popped up and his eyes narrowed.

"You don't have any pockets."

I grinned and bit my bottom lip, as I tucked his phone inside my bra. He laughed before letting his hand travel down my back and resting on my ass.

"Baby, you can be in charge of anything you want."

"Dude that's my sister's ass you're feeling up on." Emmett called from behind us.

I heard Rosalie hit the back of his head as I pulled Edward out on the dance floor.

"That's not all he's gonna be feeling up on Em!" I called back sweetly, and saw Emmett grimace.

I wrapped my arms around Edward's neck and slowly worked my hips against his.

"Not nice Bella. You shouldn't tease; Emmett will probably have a stroke." His arms wound around my hips.

"Oh baby, I am not in any way teasing. You can feel up on anything you want."

The song changed to something with a heavy beat, and what I am sure were offensive lyrics. Normally rap was not something I enjoyed, but I had to admit that as Edwards hands roamed over my hips and ass, I was rather enjoying the lyrics about ass grinding and hip swinging.

I turned so my back was facing him, but kept one arm draped around his neck. His hands moved from my hips to my stomach and pulled me closer against him. I could feel the base from the speakers thumping in my chest while his hands roamed over my body. He turned me back around to face him and I groaned as his fingertips dug into my hips.

The look on his face as I ground my hips against him was enough to make me want to find a secluded corner and just have at it. His eyes were an intense emerald green, a color I had only seen his eyes one other time. His bottom lip was brought up into his mouth, and as he bit down on it, it made his jaw line tense. God, was it possible to just hump his jaw?

His hands had worked their way into my hair and were gently pulling my head back as his lips explored my neck. His breath was hot and sticky on my skin, making all sane thoughts and ideas leave my mind.

My eyes darted around the crowded club we were in and searched for any area that could be considered secluded. I saw a corner close to the DJ booth that was far enough away from the floor that the lights weren't hitting it, and immediately started pulling Edward towards it.

My back hit the wall and I couldn't stop myself, I attacked him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his mouth down to mine. I could have blamed this on the alcohol, but really, my husband was just too fucking sexy for his own good.

His hands slipped under my shirt and I groaned as his fingers lightly traced over my nipples. I pulled myself closer to him, making his hands press against my chest. I released his mouth as he gently squeezed and leaned my head back, letting his kisses continue down my neck. His fingers were just slipping under my bra when I felt my bra vibrating.

"Um. You're vibrating." He has stopped moving and was looking at me like I had grown a third nipple.

I laughed as the vibrating continued, and I reached in my bra and pulled out his phone. His eyes widened and then nodded in understanding. Poor baby must have really been hitting the shots at the bar.

I looked at the phone and saw it was Esme.

"It's your mom, again." He took the phone from me and flipped it open.

"I'm out! I will call you later." He snapped the phone shut and smiled at me.

I stood there, blinking stupidly. Wow. My husband, the perpetual Momma's boy, had just told his mother off. He just hung up on her, without even giving it a second thought. I wanted him more now than I ever had before.

I leaned up on my tiptoes, and just as my lips were about to touch his that damn phone started vibrating again. I pulled it out of my bra, ready to bitch at Esme myself, but saw that it was a text from Alice.

"Where the hell are you?"

I laughed and texted her back, "We needed a moment. Meet you at the table."

"Well between my mother and our friends, I wonder if we will ever have sex again." Edward took the phone out of my hands and started kissing my neck.

"Oh I can pretty much guarantee we will be having sex. Tonight. I don't care if your fucking mother and Alice want to watch, we are having sex."

The night continued with more drinking and more provocative dancing. Alice had even convinced me to dance on a speaker with her, until security made us get down. Inhibitions were so far gone, there was no telling what could happen. Thankfully, Jasper had decided when Emmett mentioned body shots, that it was time to go home.

We sat, piled together in the back of the limousine we had rented for the evening. Emmett's head had accidently gotten stuck in the sunroof when I had tried to roll it up, and he was now pouting.

"God Bells, that fucking hurt!"

I laughed as Rosalie examined the mark the window had left on his neck.

"STOP! STOP! STOP!"

We all jumped as Alice's voice rang thought the car. She crawled over Edward and pushed the button for the partition to roll down.

"Can you stop at that store?" She yelled, even though the drive was less than two feet away. He nodded and pulled into the all night convenience store.

"Bella come on!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the car with her.

"Alice what the hell?" I tripped as I was getting out of the car, but she just kept pulling me. "Alice what are you doing?"

"I'm getting everyone a present!" She clapped her hands together and made a beeline for the coolers at the back of the store.

I followed behind her, mentally wondering if any of us really needed more alcohol. I stopped when I saw she was leaning into a cooler and pulling out cans of Reddiwhip.

"Alice! Oh my God!"

She stood up and shoved five cans into my arms before reaching back in the cooler and pulling out the remainder.

"Ready?" She smiled and motioned with her head to the front of the store.

"Seriously? You're buying Reddiwhip for everyone?" I laughed and followed her back to the cash register.

"It will be fun! Think of it as an early stocking stuffer!"

We made our way back to the car, and I slid in with my three bags full of Reddiwhip. Alice closed the door behind me and smiled at everyone.

"Merry Christmas! Enjoy, and use it wisely!" She started throwing cans at everyone.

"SWEET! Thanks Ali!" Emmett opened a can a squirted some in his mouth.

Angela looked at them, then back to Alice.

"Is this for pie?"

The car erupted in laughter, as Ben leaned down and whispered exactly why Alice had decided to give everyone whipped cream, and why it had nothing to do with pie.

The limousine reached our house, and Edward and I said our good-byes to everyone. Alice winked at me as she handed me an extra can of whipped cream.

"Have fun with Drunkward!" She waved before Edward shut the door.

We walked up the driveway, laughing at poor Angela's face when she had finally understood what the whipped cream was for. I leaned against Edward as he tried to open the front door, but the laughter started all over again when he dropped his keys.

He finally got the front door unlocked, and we both fell through the doorway. I was pulling my coat off when he mentioned something about the kitchen and I just nodded my head. I picked his coat up off the couch and hung it in the closet. I closed the door and was met with one of the most amazingly sexual sights ever.

Edward was leaning against the wall in front of me with nothing on but that incredibly sexy crooked smile. He held up two cans of the whipped cream and cocked his eyebrow.

I saw his mouth moving but couldn't make out any of the words he was saying.

"Bella."

My eyes stopped wondering over his perfectly delicious body and tried to focus on what he was saying. I blinked and shook my head as he sat the whipped cream on the table.

"What?"

"I said come here."

I nodded stupidly and took a step forward. How was it possibly fair that Edward had this sort of control over me? It was like he knew his stupid smile and utterly fuckable body could get him anything he wanted.

I closed my eyes as his tongue slid down my neck. His hands pulled my shirt over my head before pushing me against the wall. He threw my shirt aside, and grabbed my thighs, lifting me up against him.

My legs wrapped around him as he held me against the wall, his hands gripping my ass and his tongue and lips traveling over my collarbone.

"Edward…I…" His lips cut me off.

I moaned into his mouth as he carried me through the living room. My fingers threaded through the back of his hair, and as he pulled my bottom lip into his mouth, I gently pulled.

He ran into the side table, then the door frame, and the wall before making it into our bedroom. He fell onto the bed with me and immediately began pulling my jeans off. I leaned my head back and moaned loudly as his tongue slid down my neck and chest. I pushed my hips up against him as he slid my panties off my legs.

"YOUR FUCKING MOTHER!" I yelled as I felt the phone vibrating against my chest.

"Ignore it." He moaned against my stomach.

I flipped the phone open to hit the ignore button, but as Edward's tongue circled around my bellybutton, I jumped and accidently hit the talk button instead.

"Edward?" I heard his mother call from the phone.

"Holy shit!" I groaned as his kisses trailed down my stomach to my thigh.

"Bella?" Esme's voice was like fucking nails on a chalkboard.

"Esme we're gonna have to call you back." My voice was hardly a whisper as I watched Edward tongue inching closer to my clit.

"Bella, what's going on? Where is Edward?"

I moaned loudly as Edward took my clit in his mouth. I could hear Esme yelling from the phone, but my mind couldn't put two and two together. I knew I should have had a filter or natural reaction to not answer the phone and especially to not keep talking, but I was so focused on Edward and what he was doing that I couldn't make myself hang up the phone.

"Esme, Edward's… kind of busy. He's going down on me. He'll have to call you back."

I heard her sputtering before I dropped the phone on the floor, causing the battery to pop out.

Satan will not be happy.


	5. Cock Tease only an AN

Ok… So we seem to have some confusion. So here is an A/N explaining some things.

I promise, promise, promise you guys will know what the huge fight in the prologue is about!!! I can't give everything away in the beginning, I mean, I'm a tease. Hah.

But in all seriousness, I want you guys to really see Edward and Bella together before you know what happened. You need to know how their relationship works, and how they interact as a couple before you know what happened.

So, here is what the plan is. Every few chapters you will see a "prologue" type thing that will give you more and more insight into what has happened to make them fight. Then under the "prologue" the main story will continue, until we reach the day of the fight.

I don't know if the fight will be the end of the story, I might be able to come up with some more crazy shit to happen, but that will all depend on how you guys react and all that jazz!! I'm really having fun with this story!!!

So thank you, from the bottom of my heart!!! I hope this clears a few things up!!!

And just to give you guys a little something to chew over…. An EPOV _**MIGHT**_ be coming up…

Also… people have asked who made my kickass Cumward icon on my profile. The honor of that goes to the amazing Chasin over at GC.

Also… I am a total FB whore. I am on facebook and would LOVEEEEE to add some new peeps to my friend list! If you are interested there is a link in my profile… check it out! You just can't post shitty things about my MIL, my husband has FB and will kick my ass…BUT… you can send me a message with all the shit talking you want!!!!


	6. Ding Ding Round 1

**Five Weeks After the Wedding**

I am never drinking again. Ever. I always make a complete ass of myself, and end up thinking that my mother in law really does have a right to hate me. In reality I know that crap isn't true. Esme has hated me from the second Edward told her we were dating. I spent five years trying to prove myself to her. Five years of always doubting if I was good enough for Edward, and now I have just reached a point where I don't care.

I knew from the beginning how close Edward and Tanya were. They had grown up next door to each other, and were best friends through elementary school. Then they became high school sweet hearts, only breaking up when they each went to different colleges. I knew Tanya had been Edward's first love, that didn't bother me. What did bother me was Esme's every attempt to bring the two of them back together.

At birthday parties, holidays, and family dinners, Esme would constantly invite her to join us. In the beginning I was ok with it. I knew she and Edward were still very good friends, but little by little it would eat away at me. The way Esme would ignore me all together, just to bring Tanya into the forefront of every conversation, made me feel more and more inadequate.

My parents, Alice, and even Emmett had asked me why I continued to put up with it. The only answer I had or needed was simple - Edward.

No one, not even our closest friends, knew what our relationship was really like. They didn't know the small and stupid things that made our relationship work. They didn't know that I hated how people would sing lyrics to a song wrong, but when Edward did it, it was adorable. They didn't understand that he hated being touched on the back of his knee, except by me. It's those stupid, adorable, and idiotic tendencies that made our relationship what it was.

And it was the same stupid, adorable, idiotic tendencies that made all of Esme's shit one hundred percent worth it.

Esme had called Edward the morning after our little Reddiwhip rendezvous. We were both sure it would be the beginning of World War III, and were shocked when she had just asked me to meet her for lunch the following week.

I won't lie, thoughts of her killing me and dragging my body into the woods ran through my head. But, I figured if she was meeting me in a public place there wasn't really much she could do.

So here I was, sitting in this stupid upscale bistro, feeling extremely out of placed and under dressed, waiting for my mother in law. I was glad to be early, that way I knew she couldn't slip something into my drink. But I had to admit, the fact she was making me wait was making me nervous.

When I saw her walking through the door I double checked my purse to make sure my can of pepper spray was in there, just in case.

"Bella." She smiled politely, but she said my name as if it was some sort of horrible disease. Like you would say "genital warts" – there is just no nice way to say it.

I fisted my hands under the table and smiled, "Esme."

The waiter came over and took her drink order and I knew this was not a friendly mother in law/daughter in law type lunch. As soon as the word scotch left her mouth, I knew it would be a battle, quite possibly to the death. The waiter took her order, and Esme pursed her lips when I said I wouldn't be eating. I resisted the urge to slap her.

"Isabella, there is a reason I invited you to lunch," she said without looking at me. I watched her straighten her silverware.

"Ok." I smiled politely. I knew where this was going, and that by being as nice as I could be, she would just get more pissed off.

"I wanted to talk to you."

I nodded for her to continue, and smiled when her lip twitched. A sure sign I was starting to piss her off.

"Why did you marry Edward?"

Ok. That surprised me.

"Excuse me?"

"I want to know why you married my son." She folded her hands in her lap and stared at me.

"I love Edward, Esme. You know that." I stared back while internally I began to prepare for the fight. If she was going to question my love for him then she better be ready for me to shove my foot up her ass.

"Oh I know you love him." She waved her hand around as if acting like that didn't mean anything. "But, I want to know why you married him."

"I married Edward because I love him, because he makes me happy. And, because I can't picture my life without him."

She nodded her head and gave the waiter a polite smile as he dropped off her drink and salad.

"It seems to me, Bella, that there might me a little more to it than that." She took a long drink from her glass before smiling at me.

"Like what?"

She picked up her fork and daintily held it between her fingers as she poked around at the lettuce on her plate.

"I have no doubt that you love Edward, and there is no doubt that you have him wrapped around your little finger. But, I do have to wonder if it is him, or his money that you are after. Don't pretend that you didn't steamroll him into this marriage Bella."

"Are you out of your ever loving mind Esme?" I glared at her as my voice carried across the restaurant.

She smiled apologetically to the people sitting next to us before laying a hand on my arm.

"Bella, don't make a scene."

I yanked my arm away from her, and for a split second wondered if I could render her serious injury with a butter knife.

"I don't know where you got that idea Esme, but I can promise you it isn't true."

She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head.

"Bella, I know my son."

Well no fucking shit! You've been up his ass for twenty seven years!

"And I know that before he met you, he was never involved in such things as pornography and staying out till all hours of the night drinking. He was a good man Bella, and you have turned him into some sort of hooligan! I will not have it! You have some sort of power over him, and I can see straight through it."

I couldn't help myself when I started laughing. She glared at me before telling me to keep my voice down, but I kept on. She had no idea who her son was, and really was fucking crazy.

Edward, her perfect and charming Edward, was about as kinky as they came.

"Esme, with all due respect, you are fucking insane."

Her fork dropped to her plate, followed by a loud clink as it landed on the glass table.

"For your information, I was a virgin until Edward and I started dating. So, really you should thank Tanya for teaching him the ropes. But I take all the credit for showing him how to really work what he has."

"How dare you speak to me like that!"

"ME? How dare you Esme! From day one you have treated me like I was some stray cat your son brought home! So you don't have the fucking right to sit here and judge me, and you sure has hell don't say Edward 'was' a good man!"

She opened her mouth to say something but I cut her off.

"There is nothing wrong with what Edward and I do. We are newlyweds Esme; newlyweds have sex and explore new things. Your son is good at it, and I fucking enjoy it, so back off."

I pushed myself away from the table and grabbed my purse.

"If you don't like me then fine, but I am Edward's wife. So either learn to fucking deal with it or stay the fuck away from me."

She stared at me, just like everyone else in the damned restaurant.

"See you at Christmas," I called behind my shoulder. I walked out of that place as fast as my legs would carry me.

I half walked half ran down the sidewalk to my car. I could feel the tears making my eyes burn, but blinked them away as I threw my purse into the passenger seat and got into my car.

I ignored the sound of honking horns as I pulled out into traffic and cut people off. My fingers shook as I turned my stereo up as loud as I could, and made myself focus on the beat to whatever song was playing.

I knew Esme was probably already calling Edward, making me out to be the villain in this is situation, but I grabbed my phone and called his cell anyway.

It rang and went straight to voicemail. I sighed and tried again, same thing.

"What is the point in us paying for a fucking cell phone if you don't ever answer it?" I growled before throwing my phone in the passenger seat.

I knew Esme didn't like me, that she thought I was trash and not suitable for her son. But the whole money grubbing thing hurt, a lot.

Carlisle and Esme had money; I knew that just by the size of their house, and the luxury cars they owned. With Carlisle being a heart surgeon, it wasn't surprising, but it wasn't until Edward and I got engaged that I really found out just how much money they had.

Carlisle's great grandfather had helped invent some machine that was used in the Campbell's soup factories, and his family was still receiving rights from it.

Edward's trust was broken up into two parts. The first part he had gotten when he turned eighteen had to be used for his college expenses. He didn't get the second and larger half, until he was thirty-five. This part didn't even include the trust that his parents had set up. He would receive that once they passed away.

We didn't flaunt money; we both worked full time and lived comfortably within our income. Edward was the main bread winner. Architects made a hell of a lot more money than a freelance journalist did, but it had never been an issue for us.

I still drove the used Honda I had bought after college; Edward still drove the Volvo his parents got him when he graduated. The only extravagant gift Edward had ever given me was my wedding ring, and if I would have had a say so, it would have been much smaller. I didn't need expensive clothes or jewelry; it just wasn't who I was, and it hurt that Esme saw me as "that girl".

I mindlessly made my way back to work where I sat for a good fifteen minutes staring out the window. I was mad, don't get me wrong, but more than anything else I was hurt. I shook my head when my phone started ringing.

"Bella Cullen." I tried to make my voice sound somewhat enthusiastic but it didn't work.

"I take it lunch didn't go well?" Edward laughed from the other end.

"No, it did not." I sighed and leaned back in my chair "Esme didn't call you?"

"No she did, several times, but I was in a meeting. I figured that you would call me and when you didn't I got worried. I've been trying to call you for fifteen minutes."

I furrowed my brow and dug through my purse and groaned when I realized my phone was still sitting in the passenger seat of my car.

"I'm sorry, I left my phone in the car." I knew my voice sounded lifeless and somewhat annoyed. It wasn't Edward's fault that his mother was a fucking lunatic, but I just wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.

"Bella how bad was lunch?"

"Just your mother being her typical self. She said some rather hurtful things that are lies." I picked up a pen and began doodling on my desk calendar to keep myself from screaming.

The awkward pause that came next made me concerned. We didn't have awkward pauses, ever.

"What did she say?"

"Edward, I really don't…"

"Bella tell me what she said."

I dropped my pen at the sound of his voice, which was more of a demand that a request. This was definitely not like Edward.

"She just said I was with you for your money… and that I had corrupted you into a horrible person."

"Oh."

I sat up in my chair and shook my head, "Oh?"

"Yeah."

"Oh? Edward, you were freaking out earlier and all you can say is 'oh'?"

"Well…I mean we both know that isn't true. I'm the one who corrupted you." He gave me an uneasy laugh.

"Did you think she would talk to me about something else?"

"No." He answered a little too quickly.

"Edward…"

"Bells I just don't want you to be unhappy. I'll talk to her, ok?"

Something was definitely going on, but I had been through enough drama for one day.

"Ok. I'll see you when I get home."

"Ok. Love you."

"Love you too. Bye."

I hung up the phone and rubbed my eyes. Edward Cullen was hiding something. Whatever it was Esme was in on it, and that scared the shit out of me.

I made it through the rest of the day, focusing on the smallest details and tasks to keep my mind busy before I could go home. When I pulled into the driveway it occurred to me that I didn't remember leaving the office, or driving home. All I wanted to do was go inside, take a bath, and crawl in bed.

When I opened the door I was met with one of the strangest smells I had ever encountered. I put my purse on the couch and followed the sound of Edward cussing. I stopped in the dining room when I saw him standing in front of the stove. Edward cooking was never a good thing.

"Hey." He smiled as he caught sight of me.

"Hi." I smiled tentatively and looked around the kitchen. It wasn't totally destroyed, thankfully. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I thought that since you had a bad day that I would make dinner." There was a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"But?" I leaned against him as he pulled me into a hug.

"Well, I don't think I did it right, and now I am pretty sure it is inedible."

I couldn't help but laugh, and it felt good. He smiled into my hair and held me tightly against him. It felt so comfortable, safe, and just what I needed.

"And what exactly did you do?" He let go of me and I looked behind him on the stove.

"I was going for spaghetti. But, I don't think I did it right." He shifted his weight on his other foot and rubbed the back of his neck as I examined the stove.

There was one pot on the stove, and from what I could tell, it held water, uncooked pasta, still frozen ground beef, and tomato sauce.

"Edward exactly what did you do?" I laughed and poked the contents of the pot with a spoon.

"Well I boiled the water, and then added some pasta and meat."

"You put frozen meat in a pot of boiling water?"

"Um. Yes." He smiled his crooked smile and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Edward can you promise me something?" I carried the pot to the sink and turned off the stove.

"I can try."

"Promise me you will never ever try to cook anything that doesn't involve the toaster or microwave."

He laughed and pulled me away from the sink by wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I promise." He nuzzled the side of my neck before kissing my shoulder. "I have an idea."

"Ok." I closed my eyes and leaned back against him.

"How about I order Chinese and you go relax."

I turned around in his arms and smiled, "Marvelous idea."

"Good." He gently ran his hands up and down my back before kissing me.

I kissed him back as goose bumps formed on my arms. It wasn't a sensual kiss, and definitely wasn't one of the top ten kisses he had given me, but it was sweet and very Edward. He smoothed my hair and kissed my forehead before letting me go.

"I want…"

"Cashew chicken with fried rice, and an extra egg roll. I know Bella."

I nodded and kissed his cheek before heading for our bedroom. I was pulling my sweater off when I noticed a bouquet of flowers sitting on my nightstand.

I threw my sweater on the bed and picked the card from between the blossoms. Edward's hand writing was scrawled across the envelope. I pulled the small card out of its envelope and smiled as I read what he had written.

_Bella,_

_She's fucking crazy and I love you. Never doubt that._

_Edward_

He may be an ass ninety-nine percent of the time, but he was my ass. And, I loved him. I sat the card back on the nightstand and shook my head. I was paranoid for thinking that Edward was hiding something from me. Esme had worked her way into my mind and that pissed me off. If I started doubting Edward, doubting what our relationship was, then she won. I refused to let that happen.


	7. Merry Christmas from the Family

**A/N: It's a long one so get ready!**

**Six weeks after the honeymoon**

"Edward we are not getting Emmett a drum set," I sighed.

Christmas shopping with Edward was like taking a four year old to Toys R Us and letting them just have free reign. He was impossible, and shopped by impulse. He couldn't just look. He had to touch everything. There was no running in to pick up one thing and leaving; it was an all day ordeal.

"Why not? He would love it."

I rolled my eyes as he turned the box around to read more of the description.

"Edward, he doesn't even know how to play. He has no musical ability what so ever. Just pick out an Xbox game and a movie and let's get the hell out of here."

"I could totally teach him. We could start a band!" His eyes lit up as he smiled at me.

"No." I pushed him away from the drum set and back to our basket.

"You could be my groupie." He laughed and grabbed two movies and threw them in the cart.

"I am your wife, not a groupie." I pulled one of the movies out and put it back. "Besides, I prefer the term band-aid."

"You were my groupie in college."

I stopped pushing the basket when he picked up another movie and started reading the back of it.

"Edward, I was not your groupie. You sang karaoke at Pete's bar and I watched. Besides, you can't be a groupie and a girlfriend or wife."

"That's what we should get Emmett! A karaoke machine!" He turned around and ran back to where the musical instruments were.

I watched as he picked the large box up and carried it back over to me. I wanted to tell him no, but in all honesty a karaoke machine was a good gift for Emmett.

"Ok, I agree with the karaoke machine, but can we leave now? We still have to go find something for my mom, and I don't think she would like anything that involves electronics."

"Oh, I already got your mom's gift."

I stopped walking and stared at him.

"What? I took care of it." He threw another DVD in the cart.

"You already got my mom a gift? What did you get her?"

"I got her tickets to go see the Moody Blues next month." He shrugged his shoulders when my mouth fell open.

How the hell did he know these things? That is a much better gift that anything I would have thought about getting.

"How did… How did you know she would like that?"

He laughed and slung his arm over my shoulder as I pushed the basket to the registers.

"Bella, you're mom isn't that complicated. She has all of their albums and your dad took her to see them on their first date. Pretty classy move on Charlie's part if you ask me." He started pulling things out of the basket and unloading them at the register.

"How did you know that was their first date?"

"You told me right after we started dating. You said your parents had an epic love story that started out by them toking up at a Moody Blue's show."

"Wow." I sat the last of the DVD's on the conveyer belt and shook my head.

"What?" He sounded offended.

"I'm just surprised you remembered that."

"Bella, the mental imagine of your father, who is now a cop, smoking weed is probably one of the funniest things I could ever imagine." He laughed and handed the cashier his credit card.

He had a point. The fact that my parents were hippies once upon a time was comical, especially since my father was now an authority figure and represented everything they protested while in high school. I smirked as I followed Edward out of the store and back to the car.

"Ok, so you got my mom's gift. Who else have you bought for?" I put my seatbelt on as he backed out of the parking space.

"I got your mom's and both of my parents." He smiled and looked at me before pulling out into traffic. "And, obviously yours."

"I thought we decided not to get each other gifts this year because of the TV."

He shrugged his shoulders and smiled. I knew that when he had agreed to that understanding, it wouldn't ever happen. He loved Christmas more than Esme loved valium. We had three Christmas trees in our house, and the decorations outside were unbelievable. He had spent three hours drawing a diagram of how he wanted the lights set up, and even enlisted Jasper and Emmett to help put everything up.

"Well then you will be disappointed tomorrow morning, because this Santa didn't bring you anything." I shrugged my shoulders.

"No I won't, you give me your love. That's the best gift ever."

I actually fought back the urge to gag when he gave me the sappiest smile I had ever seen.

After stopping by four more stores, we had finally made it back home. Edward had left me to watch football, and I began sorting through all the gifts I had yet to wrap.

"Edward!" I called through the house as I leaned over the huge karaoke machine box. I waited but didn't hear him coming.

"EDWARD!" I yelled louder and heard a great huff of a sigh.

He shuffled into the dining room, which was currently wrapping paper central.

"Can you please hold this while I tape it?"

He fucking sighed again and muttered an ok as he held the paper on the box.

"Well I'm sorry I am interrupting your game time Edward, but I have to wrap these before we go to your parent's house."

"They make gift bags for a reason. Just shove it in a bag with some paper." He took the tape from me and taped the paper on the box.

The phone started ringing and I growled as I shifted through the mounds of bows, ribbon and wrapping paper covering the table. Edward plucked the phone out of the array of crap and smiled.

"Hello? Oh hey! Yeah hold on."

I looked up as he handed me the phone.

"It's your mom." Once I took the phone he immediately made a bee line back to the living room. I flipped his back off.

"Hey mom."

"Bella?"

I rolled my eyes. Who else would it be?

"Yeah it's me." I held the phone against my ear with my shoulder and continued trying to wrap the packages.

"I just wanted to let you know we were leaving."

"Oh ok. So you'll be at Em's tonight?"

"Yes. He is introducing us to Rosalie."

I smiled and bit back a laugh at the tone in my mother's voice. She would be in for a surprise when she actually met Rosalie.

"You'll like her. She is a nice girl."

My mother made a grunt of disbelief before she gave me a heavy sigh. She was worried about telling me something. I knew that sigh, very well.

"What is it mom?"

"Well, your father wants to bring Jake with us."

"Jake? Why? Doesn't he have his own family to be with?"

Jake, was Billy Black's son. Billy had been my dad's best friend since the two of them were teenagers, and had passed away two years ago. My father had sort of taken Jake under his wing since his mother was no longer in the picture, and he sort of became a second brother.

We had grown up together, although Jake was three years younger than I was. I had played with his older sisters, and always thought that Jake was a bit annoying.

He always had a huge crush on me growing up, and even asked me to his prom although I was in college and dating Edward. He was just the typical annoying little brother type.

"Well his sisters are both spending the holidays with their husband's families, and Jake didn't want to go see his mom. So we invited him. I really hope that's ok. I mean we could get a hotel room if we need to. And…"

"Mom." I cut her off. "It's fine. We have plenty of room. Besides, he can go stay with Emmett if it gets too crowded."

"Oh I'm so glad. Your father will be happy."

"I didn't get him a gift; I mean I don't want him to feel bad. I guess I could send Edward to go get a gift card or something." That idea scared me to death. I probably wouldn't see him until New Years.

"No we got him a few things."

I listened to her ramble on about some fishing gadget my father had gotten him, but I heard something drop in the living room followed by Edward cussing.

I stuck my head in the living room to find him mopping up spilled coke with his socks. It wasn't doing any good. I sighed and thanked God we had tiled floor in there.

He saw me looking at him and gave me a small smile before motioning to the bathroom. I just nodded my head in an exasperated manner and wondered how in the hell he managed to even dress himself before we got married.

"That sounds great mom. I'm sure it will come in handy this summer." I went back to wrapping presents.

She continued explaining some sonar bullshit and I noticed I never heard a cabinet open, or shut. I closed my eyes and just hopped he was smarter than that.

"Mom, hold on a second." I covered the phone with my hand.

"Edward did you get a towel to clean that up?"

"Yes."

"Did you get an old towel? Or did you pull the towel off the rack?"

The fact that he didn't answer right away already gave him away.

"Um… I got a towel from the bathroom." His voice was timid and I knew, that he knew he had fucked up.

That jackass had gone in the bathroom and pulled my brand new, still ultra fluffy, perfect white towels off the decorative rack and used them to sop up his freaking coke. My heart actually broke a little.

Those towels were not the Target $9.99 special. They were the ultra plush expensive ass towels that you only dream about owning. The towels that cost so much you can only afford two, and are solely used as decorations.

I had only dream about these magnificent towels touching my body, but wouldn't even allow myself the privilege. And now they were sitting in a heap on my living room floor, covered in sticky brown liquid.

"Mom. I have to go. Edward is being… Edward."

"Oh Bella be nice. It's Christmas Eve."

"I love you mom. Be careful."

"Love you too Izzy. See you tomorrow."

I hung up the phone, not even giving my annoying nickname a second thought.

I walked into the living room to find Edward giving me a sheepish smile and shrugging his shoulders. Had it not been Christmas, I would have hit him with the remote, again.

"Please take those towels and wash them with bleach. And then get a mop and clean the tile."

He nodded his head and skirted past me. I didn't have the luxury to be mad at him. We were supposed to spend the night at his parent's house in three hours, and I could not handle being mad at him _and_ putting up with Esme.

She might have agreed to a truce when Edward talked to her, but I refused to let my guard down. That bitch would probably try to push me down the stairs if I wasn't careful.

I watched from the corner of my eye as he brought the mop into the living room and cleaned the floor. He had suddenly decided that after he mopped, it would be a good idea to help me wrap the rest of the gifts.

"So how was your mom?" Edward asked in his little hopeful voice as he helped me tie a ribbon around a box.

"She's fine. They are about to leave." I cut the ribbon and handed him the now wrapped box. "Oh, Jake is coming with them."

"Why?" He snarled.

I looked up at the tone of his voice and laughed. He had a look on his face that could only be described as annoyed. Edward had not liked Jake since the whole prom situation. There was not one romantic bone in my body for Jake, but for some reason, Edward always turned into the Alpha male when he was around.

"Edward. Be nice."

"Well why are they bringing him?"

I sighed and rubbed my forehead.

"Edward, his dad died. His sisters are with their husband's families. Don't be a prick."

"Well he isn't staying here. He can stay with Emmett."

"Edward Cullen! Jake is like a second son to my father. Do not say things like that." I shoved the last present at him and shook my head. "Why are you acting like a spoiled baby?"

"He bugs me. He is always looking at you and stuff."

"Seriously? Edward we have been together for like seven and half years. If I was going to leave you for Jacob Black I would have already done it. Besides he is like an annoying cousin, you know? The kind you don't really want to sit next to, but you do to be nice or because your mom makes you."

"He better not touch my stuff." Edward grumbled as he left the dining room.

"Did you mean your precious Xbox or me?" I crossed my arms across my chest and stared at him.

"Both!" He called behind him and I rolled my eyes.

It never changed. From the day Jake had called and asked me to prom, Edward had hated him. It was always uncomfortable anytime the two of them were around each other. The only exception had been at Billy's funeral.

We didn't mention Jake again as we loaded the car and set off for his parents. As he drove and listened to annoyingly cheerful Christmas music, I mentally prepared myself. I hadn't seen or talked to Esme since our altercation, but had gotten a rather lame apology email, which turned out to be less of an apology and more of a list of excuses why she said the things she did.

Edward had called Esme, and although I didn't hear the conversation, I am pretty sure it wasn't nice. She had agreed to either treat me nicely or not see either of us at all. Edward saw it as progress; I saw it as a big fat lie. She might act all nice and sweet around him, but I wasn't letting my guard down.

"Bella it will be fine. It Christmas!" He laced his fingers through mine before giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

"Promise me you won't leave me alone with her." He nodded his head. "And, that you won't let me have anything alcoholic to drink."

He laughed but nodded his head again before bringing my hand up to his mouth and kissing my hand softly.

"Tanya won't be there right?"

"Nope. She went skiing for Christmas." He rubbed my thigh and smiled. "Really Bella, it will be fine."

"Ok." I nodded and sat up in my seat, trying to look more enthusiastic than I felt. But, as we pulled onto their street I couldn't help but feel that the Carol of the Bells playing from the radio was more of a death march than a Christmas song.

"Bella." Edward turned to me once the car was parked in the driveway. "I promise you, she will be nice. Just enjoy Christmas, ok?"

I smiled and nodded before leaning over the console to give him a quick kiss. I got out of the car and started pulling presents out of the backseat when Carlisle came outside.

"It's Bella!" he called before making his way over to me.

"Carlisle, I love how you always act surprised to see me here." I laughed and hugged him.

"Well…" He gave me a knowing look and smiled. He helped Edward with the rest of the presents and our overnight bags as I glared gloomily at the front door.

I could see Esme's shadow in the hallway, and had the urge to yell out "chicken shit", but controlled myself. Edward brushed his shoulder against mine and nodded his head towards the front door.

I reluctantly followed behind them, and kept my head down as I entered the house. I took a deep breath and bit my lip as Esme started gushing over Edward.

"Here Bella, I'll take those."

I handed my gifts over to Carlisle and smiled when he gave me a wink. There wasn't a warning this time, so maybe that meant Esme was medicated.

"Bella." Esme smiled gave a little head jerk and wave.

"Hi Esme."

"What…what a beautiful scarf."

On the outside I smiled, on the inside I was thinking what the hell? Nice scarf, really? That was the best she could come up with?

"Thank you, my mother made it."

"Well, that's quaint isn't it?" She smiled and patted Edward's arm. "Come on, dinner is ready."

She left us standing in the entry way and I shook my head as Edward pulled me into a hug.

"She's trying Bella." He whispered against my hair.

I closed my eyes and nodded my head. I just had to make it through dinner, and then I could feign being tired and go upstairs.

So, like the trooper I am, I sat through dinner. Sober. I joined in during idle conversation, I laughed and smiled. I even pretended to enjoy the pie Esme claimed to have made herself.

"So Edward, are you going to play for us?" Carlisle sat his napkin on the table and smiled hopefully.

Oh crap. I smiled enthusiastically as Edward agreed, but inside I was cursing his musical abilities. If he was giving a little Christmas concert, there was no way I could go to bed.

I chose the chair closest to the piano, hoping if I seemed to be paying close attention to Edward's talented piano playing then Esme wouldn't talk to me.

I loved to watch Edward play; there was no doubt about it. It was relaxing to watch his long fingers scroll over the keys, but I really loved to watch the little mannerisms he had.

The muscles in his neck would tighten when he moved his hands around the keys, while his lips would purse as he played higher notes. I loved how his lips would turn into a small smile as he played his favorite parts. It was adorable, and sexy, and very Edward.

There was something about the way he played that always surprised me. It was like when he sat at a piano and started playing he became someone else. Something more like prince charming than asshole husband who uses the wrong towels to clean up a mess.

"Well kids, I think the old folks are going to get to bed." Carlisle stood and yawned while Esme fluffed the pillows on the couch where they had been sitting.

"Night guys." Edward kept playing softly as they made their way up the stairs. I sat back in the chair and smiled as the Christmas carols drifted into more classical music.

When we heard their bedroom door shut, Edward patted the piano bench next to him.

"Why don't you ever play at home?" I sat next to him and laid my head on his shoulder as he continued playing.

"Just don't think about it." He kept playing and I watched his eyes narrow at a difficult part in the piece.

"I miss it." I said with a sigh

He smiled at what I am sure were memories of him playing for me. Our first date, which was supposed to be dinner and a movie, ended up being a six hour concert at his apartment. He had asked me what some of my favorites were, and it snow balled from there.

I knew that night, that Edward and I were different. There was just something about the way I felt around him that just had this certainty to it. I had been shy and timid my entire life, but with Edward I didn't feel that way.

"Do you remember our first kiss?" He asked as his hands changed to a different song. The song. Our song.

I smiled and closed my eyes. "Yes I do."

So many pivotal moments in our relationship had taken place around his piano. Our first date, first kiss, and first fight. Even our engagement had taken place with him playing, and me sitting next to him.

Edward and I had been dating for almost a month when he had finally kissed me. From the beginning he would give me kisses on the cheek or forehead, but he was always very selective with his real kisses. Something that frustrated me to no end.

He would always tell me that anyone could have sex, but to kiss someone, and it be a real kiss, there had to be feeling behind it. You couldn't fake a kiss, it had to be from the heart or it wouldn't be the same. I thought that he was full of crap, until I finally felt what he was talking about.

It had been another typical night, the two of us had been studying when he got up and walked over to the piano. He began by playing a few of my favorites before he started something new that I hadn't ever heard before.

I watched him with amazement as he slowly explained the story of the song. It had been written by a man who was so scared to tell a woman he loved her, that he couldn't imagine his life without her.

And then finally, he explained that he had written that song for me. Our song, that he simply titled Love Me. That night was our first kiss, and our first "I love you" to each other; the first night of the rest of our lives.

"I love you." I whispered against his shoulder as I smiled at the memory.

"I love you too." He kissed the top of my head and his fingers slowly stopped moving.

His finger slid under my chin and slowly lifted it so that I was looking at him.

"I love you." He whispered as his eyes focused on mine.

"I know." I smiled and gently brushed a stray piece of hair off his forehead. "I love you too."

His fingers trailed around to the back of my neck and he gently pulled me towards him. I closed my eyes as his lips met mine and immediately began feeling carried away.

I don't know if it was the fact that I had sat there and watched him play the piano for two hours, or if I was so emotional by the memories it had conjured, but this kiss felt different. It felt more urgent; almost as if he was trying to prove something to me.

His lips pulled away from the kiss, but his hands held my face in the same place. He leaned his forehead down against mine and smiled as I rubbed the tip of my nose against his.

"Come on, we need to go to bed." His thumbs ran over my cheeks before letting me go.

I watched as he turned off the lamps in the room. There was something different about him that I just couldn't put my finger on it. I followed him the stairs and into his old bedroom.

"Are you ok?" I asked as I sat on the bed. He walked to the tiny bathroom attached to his bedroom and began brushing his teeth.

"Yeah." He mumbled with the toothbrush still in his mouth.

I crawled under the covers and looked around the room. We had never spent the night in Edward's old bedroom before. I had to admit it was a little weird. Esme hadn't changed it since the day he left for college, and it was bizarre to be surrounded by old baseball trophies and high school pictures, especially the one of Tanya and Edward at prom. I rolled over on my side and decided I might just hide that one before I left.

Edward crawled into the bed and groaned and mumbled as he tried to get comfortable. "Stupid small bed."

I laughed as he bounced around behind me trying to get comfortable, making the headboard hit the wall and the springs on the mattress squeak.

"You need to stop before your mother hears you and thinks were having sex." She would probably come running in here with a water hose.

"Well it isn't my fault that this bed is so small. How the hell did I ever sleep on this?"

"Edward a queen size bed isn't small, and I am assuming you didn't share a bed with someone else in high school."

He pulled me back against him. "That is very true."

Somewhere between us snickering when we heard Esme in the hallway, no doubt listening for any signs of moaning, and Edward running his fingers up and down my arm, I fell asleep.

I normally didn't dream, or if I did I never remembered them, but this was different. It was real, or felt real. I could feel someone's hot breath on my neck while something was softly running up and down my thigh.

"Bella."

My eyelids fluttered open and I tried to focus on the room around me. It took me a second to realize where I was, but once I did I turned my head and felt Edward's lips on my shoulder.

"Edward?" I whispered.

He pulled me closer to him as his lips kissed their way over my shoulder and up my neck.

"Edward…what are you…" I watched as he sat up and leaned over me. The light from the alarm clock cast him in a greenish tint, but it didn't hide the look of absolute heartache on his face. I tried to sit up, but his hands just pushed me back against the bed.

"Edward what's wrong?" I ran my fingers slowly over his arms.

"I… I need to tell you something."

I nodded my head while trying to remain calm. My mind began going over a million different scenarios ranging from good to bad. Had he broken something, lost his job or wrecked the car? I could handle all of that. But as the ideas began getting worse I could feel myself becoming hysterical.

What would be the worst? Had he cheated on me? I knew that wasn't a possibility. Edward wasn't that kind of guy. Was he sick? Oh my god, what if he was really sick? I tried to remember if he had gone to the doctor recently but couldn't seem to think straight.

"Bella…"

I stared up at him, taking in all of his mannerisms that gave him away. The way a line formed between his eyebrows, how his mouth pulled down in the corners. But his eyes, his eyes are what gave him away. They were flat, and lifeless.

"Edward please, you're freaking me out." I wrapped my hands around his arms.

"Bella, I'm sorry."

"Ok… well… What are you sorry for? Did you break something? Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. We can fix it." I sat up and looked him in the eyes. "Edward whatever it is we can fix it."

He nodded his head and pulled me on top of his lap. I kept watching him, hoping that he would eventually tell me what the hell was going on.

"I'm sorry for always being an ass." He whispered as his hands ran through the back of my hair.

"What?" I shook my head wondering if I had heard him right.

"I should have asked you to marry me sooner than I did, I shouldn't have let marriage scare me."

I stared at him, completely confused.

"What?" I asked again.

"When we broke up, right after Alice and Jasper got married. I shouldn't have let it happen. I knew I wanted to marry you, but I was just so stupid and scared."

I ran my hands through his hair and watched as his eyes roamed over my face. I didn't understand why he felt the need to apologize for this now; it had been like three years ago.

"Edward, it doesn't matter. We're married and happy. That's all that matters."

He leaned his head against my neck and pulled me closer to him.

"Bella, I love you so much."

"I know and I love you too." I scratched his back softly.

His lips kissed over my collarbone and neck as his hands pulled my closer to him.

"I need you." He whispered against my neck as his fingers trailed up and down my back.

I leaned away from him, making him look up at me.

"I'm already yours." I smiled before kissing him softly.

He smiled a real smile before deepening the kiss. I gently sucked his bottom lip into my mouth and moaned as he pulled me closer onto his lap. I let go of his lip as he pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it on the floor. There was an urgency that flowed between us as we pulled the rest of our clothes off. As he pulled my panties off and threw them on the floor I tried to lay back.

"No." Edward's hand wrapped around my waist and pulled me back up to him. "I want you like this."

One of his hands released my waist and slowly slid between my legs. When his fingers made contact with my clit I gently bit my lip to keep from moaning.

"Bella, I want you to look at me."

My hips instinctively moved with the rhythm he was setting, and I could feel him getting harder against my thigh.

"Please Edward." I whispered as he slid a finger inside me. I could feel my entire body tensing, but as good as he felt I wanted more. I wanted him.

He nodded his head and let go of my hip as I reached between us. A deep moan escaped his lips as I gently took him in my hands. I held onto his shoulder as I lifted myself up off his hips, and then slowly down onto him.

I sat still for a moment, enjoying the feeling of being whole with him. His hands slid over my hips and ass to the back of my thighs. He picked me up and moved backwards on the bed until my back was against the headboard, and he was on his knees in front of me.

"Wrap your legs around my waist."

I did what he said and moaned as he slowly pulled himself out. He grabbed onto the headboard with one hand while the other held my hips in place as he thrust himself back in. He slowly built up speed but never took his eyes off of mine.

I didn't care that the headboard was hitting the wall every time he pushed himself into me, or that the moans leaving my mouth were getting progressively louder. All I cared about was him.

"Harder, please," I begged as his forehead leaned against mine.

My legs tightened around him as his other hand went to hold the headboard and push me harder against it. I could my fingers digging into his neck and almost screamed as he hit that one amazing spot.

"Edward please!" I half whispered, half moaned.

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered against my neck and I just shook my head.

"No. Please Edward… I'm right there…" I begged. I didn't care that the headboard was digging into my back, and I had no doubt that tomorrow I would be sore. None of it mattered because I could feel myself getting closer and closer each time he pushed himself into me.

"Bella... shh." He kissed me softly.

I nodded my head to show him I would be quiet. I tried focusing on other things to keep me from screaming "fuck me harder," but each time he would push back into me my moans would get louder.

"Edward please…" I begged as my fingers pulled the back of his hair. "Please just… just a little harder… I promise I'll be quiet."

"Fuck," he growled against my shoulder.

"Yes exactly, harder." I nodded in agreement as he smiled. "Edward I promise you won't hurt me. Please…"

"Bite my shoulder." He nodded as his rhythm started picking up again.

"What?" I shook my head in confusion. Normally biting was not something he enjoyed.

"To keep from screaming, bite my shoulder." His voice was hurried and out of breath.

I nodded my head as he backed me flush against the headboard but forgot all about it as he slipped a hand between our bodies and started rubbing my clit forcefully.

"Holy shit." I leaned my head back at the combined sensations. His hips pounded against me so hard I could have sworn I heard the wood behind me splintering.

"Bite my fucking shoulder Bella." He growled.

I didn't want to bite him, but I knew if he was going to keep this up there was no way Esme and Carlisle wouldn't hear me. I could feel my toes curling and every muscle in my body tightening.

"FUC…" I stopped myself from screaming and bit down on Edward's shoulder as he groaned and gave another hard thrust. I felt myself clench around him from the inside and he threw his head back in pleasure. I watched the chords on his neck protrude as his mouth hung open. I knew he wanted to scream out. Instead, he threw my body backwards into the headboard one more time as he came violently inside of me.

I heard the wood groan behind me but I could care less. There was nothing more beautiful than the sight of my husband's bliss-filled face right now.

I shuddered against him. Every nerve in my body seemed to just spark with the electricity that was flowing between us. Edward leaned against me as I slowly released my legs from around his waist.

"Holy shit." He whispered against the top of my head. "Are you ok?"

I nodded against his chest and smiled as he slowly pulled away from me.

Edward laid me back on the bed and I smiled sleepily as exhaustion and total relaxation took over my body.

"I love you." I whispered as he spooned me.

"I love you too." He kissed my shoulder and pulled my closer to him.

The next morning I could hear voices outside the door, but was too freaking tired to really pay attention to them.

Until I remembered where we were, and exactly who would be outside the door.

"Edward," I whispered as I elbowed him. He only grunted and turned his head away from me.

"Edward your parents!" I whispered louder.

His eyes slowly opened but before I could even open my mouth Esme threw the door open.

"Merry Christ… OH MY GOD!"

In the span of two seconds, several things happened. Edward, who had apparently kicked all of the covers off of his naked body during the night, instinctively grabbed the blankets as his mother burst into the room. However, when she started screaming he also rolled off the bed, taking all of the covers with him. This left me completely naked, with his parents standing in the door way.

I grabbed the pillow closest to me and attempted to cover myself up, as Carlisle muttered an apology and turned around, and muttered something about it being ok because he was a doctor.

"God mother, don't you knock?" Edward yelled as he rubbed his head, which had apparently made contact with the night stand.

Esme took one look around the room, spotting our pajamas thrown around the floor, a deep purple bruise on Edward's shoulder, and a crack in her antique headboard.

I closed my eyes and buried my face in the pillow covering my body. Why, for the love of God, could this woman not learn to knock before entering a room?

She slammed the door behind her as she started yelling something about rabbits and broken furniture. I looked at Edward and gave him a tentative smile.

"Merry Christmas." I laughed as he rolled his eyes. Breakfast would probably be interesting.

**A/N**

**YAY for hot midnight sex at the in-laws!!! Nothing says Merry Christmas like seeing your son and daughter-in-law naked!!**

**This ended up being super long, so I broke it up into two parts. Christmas with the Swans and Jacob is next! Just let me say that IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM, ARE BELLA AND JAKE GETTING TOGETHER!!! NO WAY!!**

**Ok.. so shout outs:**

**Allyface.. love you long time and send SPAM.**

**Di: I will so sing placebo at your funeral… AND rock out with a lighter. I 3 you!!**


	8. Merry Christmas From the Family Part Two

**Merry Christmas from the Family- Part Two**

**A/N – OK DON'T KILL ME!!! Here it is!! Sorry it took so long!!**

"HELL TO THE YES!"

I laughed as my mother slap Emmett's arm as he unwrapped the karaoke machine we had given him.

"Emmett, watch your mouth!" Renee shouted at him.

Emmett, being Emmett, ignored her.

"It's already loaded with the best of the 80's! Oh man we are so hooking this up later!"

"Does it say if Vanilla Ice is on there?" Edward asked, as he moved onto the floor next to Emmett. They both started laughing as they began pouring over the song catalog.

Oh Lord help me if my living room was going to become a cheesy karaoke lounge later.

"Hey Charlie, they have the Village People on here. You down?" Edward laughed, as my father muttered something under his breath.

I stood up and started picking the wrapping paper off the floor as everyone continued talking and laughing.

"Here Bella I can help." Jake moved from the perch he had created by the fireplace to help me pick up the trash littering the floor.

That's the first thing I had heard him say since he had gotten here over four hours ago. From the second he walked into the house he had settled into his nook, plugged his laptop in, and hadn't really moved since.

"Yeah, thanks Jake." I held the trash bag open as he shoved the discarded paper in.

Edward narrowed his eyes from his seat next to Emmett but I shook my head at him.

"Do you want me to take it out to the dumpster?" Jake asked, as he took the now full bag from me.

"I'll do it," Edward said, jumping off the floor to take the bag out of Jake's hands. "You're a guest Jake. Enjoy yourself."

Even Emmett looked up at the sound of Edward's sarcasm. He quirked his eyebrow at me as Edward left the room, but I shook my head and went back to Jake.

"Jake, do you want something to drink? Or… anything?" I finished lamely. I felt horrible that my husband felt the need to behave like a five year old.

"I'll take a beer if you're going into the kitchen," my dad piped up from his chair, as he continued reading the instruction manual for some sort of fishing contraption.

When Jake shook his head I went back into the kitchen. I was pulling a beer out of the fridge when I noticed Jake shuffling nervously towards me.

"Change your mind?"

"No, I'm fine. I just wanted to say thank you, for having me over that is. I know it was a surprise."

I waved my hand at him and smiled.

"I know Edward doesn't like me very much."

I sighed and shook my head. How does one explain this? If I said no he would know I was lying, but I couldn't be like "_Oh he hates you alright_."

"Bella, really it's fine. I knew coming down here that it would be awkward."

"Well, I am glad to see you, if that makes you feel any better. It's been what? At least two years."

He nodded and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. God, he didn't make this easy.

"So how is school?"

"Good. I'm ready to graduate."

"May, right?" I leaned against the counter and smiled. I remember how excited I had been when I was so close to graduating, but also how scared I had been. "What are you going to do? Once you are out in the real world, I mean?"

"I've been doing an intern program for Bungie, and they are offering me a fulltime position once I've graduated."

"Bungie? You mean like the cords?" I was confused. I thought he was going to school for something to do with computers.

He laughed and shoved his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

"No, Bungie is a video game developer. They made the _Halo_ game series."

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled. I'm sure I had heard of _Halo_, but really I didn't understand what any of it meant. "So you're going to develop video games?"

"No, I test them out before they are released to the public."

"So, you get to play video games for a living?" I asked. Edward would definitely be jealous of that bit of information.

Jake nodded his head and shrugged his shoulder. "Total nerd, I know."

In all honesty, he was a nerd. Complete with glasses and those stupid t-shirts that always had weird gaming quotes on them. And, if I remembered correctly he had always been obsessed with _Star Wars_.

"Jake, if you are doing what you love to do, then it isn't nerdy. I know Edward would love to play video games all day and get paid for it."

"Thanks Bella." Jake awkwardly moved towards me and pulled me into a hug. I patted his back, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable. I started to pull away and say something, but just as I turned my head, his lips, which I hoped had been aiming for my cheek, landed on my lips.

His arms immediately dropped to his sides and he shuffled backwards.

"I'm so sorry," he mumbled.

I shook my head.

"No, it's totally fine," I replied. It was a total lie.

Obviously I lied. God please tell me he was just trying to kiss me on the cheek. Even if he was just kissing me on the cheek, what the fuck!

"I'll take that to Charlie." He took the bottle of my hand and I nodded.

He gave me a shy smile before shuffling back into the living room. I rubbed my forehead and sighed. Surely Jake was old enough now to see the difference between me being nice, and me flirting with him.

I leaned back against the counter and shook my head. This was not good. If Edward found out about this he would kill Jake. Oh shit – Edward! I jumped away from the counter and looked out the window to see if he had been anywhere near the kitchen. I saw him wiping his feet on the mat at the backdoor. Fuck me, that was close.

I tried to act calm as I heard him shut the door and make his way through the short hallway and into the kitchen.

"Hey," he said, pulling another trash bag out of the pantry to put it in the trashcan.

"Hi," I practically squeaked.

He gave me a weird look before I cleared my throat and smiled.

"Sorry, frog in my throat," I said, hoping it would pass as an explanation for my weird tone. He put the lid back on the trashcan and stood in front of me. I smiled, hoping I didn't look like I was hiding something.

He rested his palms on the counter, one arm on each side of me and looked down at me. "Bella."

"Yes?" I asked, running my hands up and down his chest, avoiding his eyes.

He leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose, "What are you hiding?"

Damn him! Damn him and his intuitive behavior! And damn my lack of ability to lie! I opened my mouth to just tell him what had happened when my mother cleared her throat and tentatively made her way into the kitchen.

"Yeah mom?" I asked, ducking out from under Edward's arm. I was thankful for the distraction.

"Oh I was just going to get some pie. Resume the position."

I stared at my mother. Surely she had not taken up watching S&M porn. She was always saying shit like that – hearing someone say something and thinking it was funny, then repeating it. Half the time she had no idea what she was talking about.

Edward covered his laughter up with a coughing fit, and I just shook my head.

"How big of a piece do you want Renee?" Edward pulled the pie pan closer to him and began slicing.

"Oh not too big," she said, standing next to me against the counter, winking at me.

"What?" I asked, handing Edward the small dessert plates as he began dividing the pie.

"When are you two going to start having babies?"

The plate slipped out of Edward's hand and fell to floor, instantly shattering into a million pieces. He looked at me as if he was one of the last passengers left on the Titanic.

"Mom we haven't even been married six months. I don't think babies are on the agenda just yet." I reached down and started picking up the broken plate.

"Well I'm just saying the two of you have been together for a while. Your father and I would love to be young enough grandparents to enjoy it."

Seriously, six months and the baby questions are already starting?

"Mom you have another child. Go harass Emmett about this shit."

"Emmett as a father? I would love to see that," Edward said, laughing. My mother and I both narrowed our eyes at him, clearly annoyed.

"I think I'm going to go watch football," Edward said, quickly leaving the kitchen after he threw the glass shards from the broken plate into the trash.

"Did I make him uncomfortable? I just assume the two of you had discussed children."

"We have mom, and someday we will have children. Just not anytime soon." I pulled another plate down from the cabinet and handed her a piece of pie.

"It's just that you know you already have problems in the female department. Going to a doctor might not be a bad idea," she said, taking the plate from me.

I searched around the kitchen for some blunt object I could use to hit myself over the head with. Could this Christmas get any worse?

"Mom, its Christmas. Can we please not discuss my female problems?"

She nodded her head as she slowly chewed on her pie.

"Is your sex life healthy?" she asked innocently and smiled.

If I spoke too fucking soon, it would only get worse. I turned on my heel and left my mother standing in the kitchen with her damn pie.

"You wouldn't happen to have any Reddiwhip would you?" she called at my retreating back, but I ignored her and continued into the living room. There was no way she would bring up sex in front of my father. At least I hoped not.

The rest of the evening was spent in front of the TV with the guys drinking beer, except in Jake's case. He continued to sit in his corner typing away on his laptop. I noticed every once in a while he would look over the top of his glasses at me, but before I could really look back at him he would look back at the screen.

Eventually, my parents went to bed. Thankfully our guest bedroom was at the back of the house, because Edward and Emmett had hooked the karaoke machine up and Rick Astley was blaring from the speakers of our surround sound.

"I can't believe you are fucking Rick Rolling us Emmett," I cried over the sound of the cheesy synthesizer melody. "Of all the great songs from the 80's you pick this?"

"We're no strangers to love!!! You know the rules and so do I!!!!" Emmett held his microphone in one of his hands as he did Rick's wonderful side to side step that made the 80's so memorable.

I was beginning to think that drinking had not been a good idea. When Edward joined Emmett and began singing back up, complete with air guitar, I knew it wasn't a good idea.

Jake, who still had his computer sitting in his lap, was watching with what could be described as either absolute terror or utter amusement as two of the biggest idiots I had ever seen danced side by side. As the song came to an end he clapped out of politeness.

"You're up Bella." Emmett tossed me the microphone and I pushed myself off the couch.

I gave Edward the number to the song I wanted to sing, and once he found it he only laughed."So typical. Too bad Alice isn't here, it could be a duet."

"Shut up and play the song, Vanilla Ice," I said to him.

"Hey! Vanilla Ice is a legend. Don't mock him."

I rolled my eyes, and as the music started Emmett groaned and threw a pillow from the couch at me. It was no wonder he would hate this song. I had listened to it repeatedly when I was eight, so much so that I wore out two cassette tapes.

"Oh my God," Jake suddenly said when the melody poured out of the speakers. He laughed out loud before saying, "I remember this. Bella and Alice used to run around in Renee's bras singing this."

Edward shot Jake an annoyed look , but continued clapping along with the song.

"Get into groove, boy you got to prove your love to me!!!!!" I sang loudly, remembering the dance moves from the video.

Madonna, in all her glory in the 80's, had been my idol. Well not only mine, but Alice's as well. Anyone who really knew us knew that vintage Madonna was our thing. Alice had even coordinated a dance for all of her bridesmaids to do at her wedding reception to the song "Material Girl."

As the song came to an end, I suddenly wished I had a crimper and a splatter paint shirt that I could tie at the waist. I took a bow, and as Emmett rolled his eyes, I really knew he was just jealous. He had stolen my Madonna tape at least twice that I could remember.

"Ok, how about testing out that new Wii?" Edward asked, looking at Emmett hopefully.

The two of them began pushing furniture out of the way, and I shook my head. Giving him that thing for Christmas might end up being a huge mistake on my part.

Emmett and Edward stood in the middle of our living room stretching and taking bets on who would beat who. As the game was about to start, Jake cleared his throat and pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "You both might want to make sure that you use the wrist straps. Those controllers can do serious damage if they just get thrown across the room."

"We are adults. I think it will be ok." Edward's snide voice made me slap him on the back of his head.

Jake shrugged his shoulders and muttered something about being an idiot. I laughed but covered my mouth.

"Ok so let's make this interesting. Loser for each game has to take a shot," Emmett said, swinging his arms around in a windmill motion as if warming up to pitch.

Great, shots were just what they needed.

"That won't be very fun with just two players. Bella are you going to play?" Edward asked.

"I'll play if Jake plays." I smiled at Jake, hoping he would feel included.

"I'll play," he said, nodding and closing his computer. I noticed there was a look of irritation on his face as he glared towards Edward's back. Hmm, this might get interesting.

I took a controller, and taking Jake's advice, slid the wrist strap over my hand. I hadn't ever played Wii before, but I was assuming it couldn't be too hard. Children did it after all.

"Ok, so Emmett and Jake against Bella and me," Edward said.

"Sounds fair." Emmett gave Jake a high five as he joined him in the middle of the room.

Edward gave me a brief explanation of how to play. I nodded, not really understanding. "Don't worry, I'll cover for you," he said, kissing the top of my head. We took our positions to begin playing tennis.

As soon as the game began I knew I was in over my head. I watched in shock as the three grown men standing in front of me began running and grunting all over the room.

"WATCH OUT!" Edward screeched, pushing me out of the way as he leapt in front of me to make a save.

Before long it became apparent that the game had turned into Edward versus Jake. Emmett stood panting next to me as the two of them continued running all over the living room.

"Wow," he said, watching as Jake made some sort of save, scoring on Edward. "Kid's good."

"Well he does this for a living Emmett."

We both moved backwards as Edward toppled over the rug and fell backwards.

"SCORE YES! POINT TO ME!" Edward laughed and jumped to his feet. "You are going down!"

I moved to sit on the couch as the three overgrown toddlers battled for a tennis championship in front of me. An hour later, and only God knows how many shots later, Edward and Jake were now duking it out over Wii boxing.

It became quite apparent during this little boxing session, that this was becoming a pissing contest. Both Edward and Jake had sweat dripping down their faces, and the necks of their shirts were damp.

I had my head leaning against Emmett's shoulder when I heard Jake laugh and Edward start slurring cuss words.

"Give it up Eddie," Jake said, taking the controller off his wrist and setting it on top of the entertainment center.

Emmett shifted, moving closer to the edge of the couch, in case he needed to spring into action I suppose.

I had never seen Edward really mad. I had seen him frustrated and angry, but never to the point that he might actually hurt someone. I knew my husband was in good shape. I mean, he worked out every day, and I was certain that he had to have some sort of coordination.

Jake on the other hand was tall, taller than Edward in fact, but I didn't know if playing video games well meant that he was actually in shape. Did playing Wii count as exercise?

"Don't fucking call me Eddie," Edward growled, as he threw his controller on the couch next to me. I picked it up, not wanting it to become a weapon for either one of them.

"Ok," I said, standing up between them. I put my hand against Edward's chest.

"Don't be a sore loser Edward," Jake said while he shrugged his shoulders.

Edward laughed and pulled me beside him. I glared at Emmett, hoping he was going to step in between the two of them.

"You can beat me a video game, big fucking deal. That wouldn't make a damn bit of difference playing real sports," Edward countered.

"I would take you on. Anytime. Anywhere. I'm not fucking scared of you Edward," Jake said, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Jake, Edward stop. This is stupid." With that, I laughed, hoping both of them would calm down.

Emmett finally stood up and wrapped his arm around Jake's shoulders. "Boys, why don't we all calm down and have another drink."

He smiled at me, guessing I thought his attempt to defuse the situation had been amazing. I however glared at him in return. Adding alcohol to this situation was not the brightest idea.

"Fine." Edward said, moving towards the front door and holding it open. "Outside Jake."

Jake pushed Emmett's arm of his shoulder and walked outside.

"What the hell? What is this like some sort of duel?" I asked, pulling on Edward's arm. He shook me off and moved into the front yard after Jake. "Emmett do something!"

"Well shit," Emmett muttered, running out the front door. "Guys what the hell are you going to do? Throw down in the front yard? Let's all go back inside and calm down.

I followed behind him, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Sprint from here to car at the end of the block and back," Edward said, pointing down the street Jake nodded his head in understanding.

"Wow Edward, why don't you just piss on Bella's leg? It would be a lot easier," Emmett blurted out, laughing. But he stopped when I punched his arm.

I grabbed Edward's arm and tried to pull him back inside, but he kept pulling his arm out of my grasp.

"Bella just stop. Go back inside," Jake said, waving his hand at me, motioning me to go back inside.

I glared at him.

"Don't talk to her like that," Edward spat at him before turning back towards me. "Go back inside Bella."

"Me? You're the one who lets your ice queen of a mother walk over her," Jake countered, shrugging his shoulders. "Time to cut the cord Mama's boy."

"JAKE! SHUT THE HELL UP!" I yelled. I was furious that two grown men couldn't settle their differences any better way that through fucking testosterone filled activities! Whatever crazy ass bitch thought that two men fighting over her was romantic was crazier than Esme. And that's saying something.

Emmett stood in front of Edward, pushing on his chest as Edward yelled over his shoulder at Jake. "Don't talk about shit that you know nothing about Jake!"

Jake laughed and shrugged his shoulders saying, "I know your wife kissed me this afternoon."

OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD.

Emmett's arms dropped from Edward's chest as they both stared at me. I'm glad they both thought I would actually do that.

"I didn't fucking kiss him!" I screamed, throwing my hands in the air. "He kissed me…"

Before I could even finish my sentence, saying it was an accident; Edward had pushed Emmett out of the way and was running straight for Jake.

I ran at Edward, hoping I wasn't going to fall in the snow that covered our front yard. I reached the space between the two of them in time and pushed Jakeback as Edward came barreling towards him.

"Bella move!" Edward bellowed, trying to move around me but I stopped him. I slipped for a second in the icy sidewalk but caught myself.

"Edward it was an accident. Please just stop. You're both acting like children."

"It wasn't an accident," Jake chimed in behind me, and I swear I thought about beating the shit out of him myself.

As Edward tried to reach around me, his shoulder pushed me backwards. My feet slipped over the icy curb and I fell backward.

I fell, in what I thought was slow motion, into the street. Edward and Jake both stared down at me, while Emmett was running over to where we all were.

I looked up at all of them, and for a split second I was pissed off. More than pissed off, I was livid. But the next second I felt the most excruciating pain I had ever felt in my life. It literally felt like someone had taken the lower half of my leg and turned it backwards.

"OH MY GOD!" I cried, trying to sit up and see exactly what shape my leg was in.

"No Bella, lay back." Edward's hands pushed my shoulders back against the pavement. "Emmett go get Charlie. Bring out Bella's coat, and grab some blankets."

I heard Emmett running back towards the house and shook my head. Seriously, Merry Fucking Christmas Bella!

"I think your leg's broken Bella," Jake said, staring down at me while Edward went and gathered snow off the top of Emmett's jeep to carefully pack around my leg.

"No fucking joke Jacob!" I covered my eyes with my arm and tried to control the sobs that were building in my chest. I couldn't stop the tears from running down my face, but I could control me just acting like a basket case.

"Jake back up," Edward growled, pushing him away from me as he laid on the pavement next to me to wrap his arms around me. His hands ran up and down my arms. "It's ok Bella. You'll be ok."

I wanted to tell him to get off me, to just leave me the hell alone, but I knew he was trying to keep me from being colder than I already was. He was waiting for me to go into shock, but I didn't want his fucking do-gooder attitude now.

"What happened?" I heard Charlie call, as he and Emmett ran down the yard towards us.

As Jake explained what had happened, Edward gently wrapped my coat and a few blankets around me. I shook my head as his hands gently smoothed my hair against my head. Where the hell was THIS Edward twenty minutes ago?

My mother joined Edward at my head, and was wiping the tears away from my cheeks as my father looked at my leg.

"I don't think we should move her. Maybe we should call an ambulance."

I tried to sit up and tell them no, but Edward and my mother held me back down.

So I laid there, in the middle of the fucking street, on Christmas night waiting for a damn ambulance to come and pick me up. I never wanted to celebrate Christmas again. Edward called his father, who would be meeting us at the hospital. I wasn't sure why, my heart wasn't the issue.

When the ambulance finally got there I just tried to ignore the bickering going on between Edward and Jake. If Jake wanted to go to the fucking hospital I didn't see why it mattered. They wouldn't let him back into my room anyway.

"Jake just back the fuck off!" Edward growled as they were tightening the strap on the gurney.

"WILL THE TWO OF YOU FUCKING STOP!" I was so frustrated that I just threw whatever I had in my hand. Unfortunately for Edward, I had still been holding the Wii controller. And as we drove to the hospital, the EMT's treated him for a broken nose.

I hated hospitals. The smell of them, the way everything always seemed so bright white. I hated it. Edward, who was holding an icepack on his face, kept patting my hand. I glared at him, and a very bitter and evil part of my subconscious hoped his nose would be crooked from now on.

I watched as he removed the ice pack and he gingerly touched his nose. Blood was still caked on his cheeks, and all over the front of his shirt. I rolled my eyes and turned my head away from him.

The curtain separating my bed from the one next to me opened up, and Emmett pushed his way into the small space. He had the stupidest grin on his face.

"So out in the waiting room, there are these two chicks out there fighting over this dude named Tom. Apparently, Christina injured him while having sex, and Stella walked in on them together. Christina is sporting a broken nose and Stella has scratches all over her face." He looked between Edward and I smiling, I guess hoping one of us would smile back. Neither one of us did.

"Curtain three Dr. Cullen," I heard the nurse say from somewhere outside in the hallway. Edward stood up as his father pulled the curtain back.

"Bella!" Carlisle exclaimed. He smiled kindly before looking at Edward. "I would say I'm surprised to see you two here, but I'm not."

Emmett shook Carlisle's hand before leaving to go back to the waiting room, no doubt to see if a cat fight would break out.

Carlisle shut the curtain and took the seat Emmett had vacated. "Please tell me this didn't happen while the two of you were having sex." He gave Edward a sideways glance as gently looked at my leg.

I should just stop asking how bad things could get, because obviously there was no end to how humiliating this day could be.

"No, dad we didn't," Edward said, taking the ice pack off his nose and setting it down on the bed.

"Well after this morning, I had to ask." Carlisle pulled the chart off the end of my bed and began reading through it. "So Bella you fell off of the curb?"

"Yes." I looked at Edward who was staring at the bed.

"And how did you fall off of the curb?" He asked, writing something in my chart.

"Your son pushed me off of it."

Carlisle stopped writing and looked at Edward who was now shaking his head.

"I didn't push you off it on purpose."

I crossed my arms across my chest. "You still pushed me."

"Let me just go out on a limb here and say that Bella broke your nose Edward." Carlisle put the chart back on the end of my bed and laughed when Edward nodded his head.

"As a physician I am supposed to tell both of you that if you feel like you are in a dangerous situation in your marriage then I can call the authorities. Do either of you wish me to do that?" I watched as Carlisle's lips pulled into that same crooked smile that Edward had.

"No," I said, shaking my head. Edward laced his fingers between mine.

"No dad," he replied.

Carlisle nodded and pushed himself out of the chair.

"Ok, Bella your leg is broken. I don't think you will need surgery, but I'm going to have Dr. Michaels come down and take a look at your x-rays."

I nodded and hoped that whoever this Dr. Michaels was, he wouldn't think I needed surgery either.

"Edward, technically you aren't a patient since you wouldn't let them register you. So, come to my office in about an hour and I will set your nose."

Edward nodded as Carlisle leaned over the bed and kissed the top of my head. "Bella, next time take him down with you and make sure he lands on the bottom."

I laughed and waved goodbye as he left the room. Edward looked down at me and gently brushed his fingertips across my arm.

"I'm really sorry Bella." His voice was so low I could hardly hear him.

I nodded my head and patted the bed. "You can lie down."

Edward gently moved to lie down next to me, carefully avoiding my leg. I closed my eyes, and leaned my head into his chest. This had to be one of the longest days of my life.

The two of us laid there, not talking. We laughed as we heard who could only be Christina and Stella screaming at each other as they both made their way into the exam room next to mine. We could tell Carlisle was struggling with the pair, telling them to calm down or he would be forced to call the police.

I smiled and kissed Edward's shoulder. "Your dad might need a little more time."

He smiled into my hair and nodded his head.

"I'm sorry about your nose," I whispered.

"I'm sorry about your leg."

I leaned my head back and looked up at him.

"Next year can we please just go to like Hawaii for Christmas?"

He laughed and agreed that maybe a Christmas away from family was exactly what we needed.

**A/N- For some reason this chapter was SUPER hard for me to write. I'm not really sure why, but I think my real life sucking balls this past month had a lot to do with it.**

**BJ THIS ONE IS FOR YOU!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!! **

**Also, to my Beezy and Julsey, you two have made my life more bearable. And I love you. I hope each of you caught your shout outs.**

**Ally, my bff and my lifeline… I love you and miss you.**

**Mom…. Sorry for all F bombs. (Yes my mom reads my fanfic now)**

**DIANA…. Thank you for putting up with my ass. I love you.**


	9. Mistakes

**Ok guys… before we start let me just say that this is not a normal chapter. This is a chapter from Edward's POV all taking place the night of the prologue (aka the big fight). It may not be as long as the others, but this chapter has a lot of information you guys need before we continue.**

I threw my car into park outside my parent's house and slammed the door behind me. I didn't give the other car in the driveway a second thought. It only made sense that Tanya would be here.

I threw the front door open and slammed it behind me as I continued my way through the house. I knew my father wasn't here, which could be problematic, but he wasn't really the person I needed to speak with.

"Edward?" My mother stuck her head out of the doorway leading to the den. "What a surprise I didn't know you would be coming by."

Ignoring her pleasantries I pushed past her into the room and found Tanya sitting in one of the large chairs holding a wine glass. She smiled when she saw me, but as I stalked my way over to her chair the smile slipped off of her face.

"Edward…" she began.

I cut her off by leaning down over her, my hands resting on the arms of the chair. "What did you do?" I practically growled at her.

She blinked slowly, looking around my shoulder at my mother.

"Tanya what did you do?" I repeated. This time it was more of a demand.

"Edward, please calm down." I felt my mother's hand on my shoulder but ignored her.

Neither one of them seemed surprised by my anger, which only confirmed what I already knew.

I pushed myself away from the chair and turned to look at my mother. She had that fake sympathetic look on her face, a look I had become all too familiar with.

"When I went home tonight, expecting to find Bella in a good mood, I instead found her…" I ran my hands through my hair. What word could possibly describe how she had looked? "I found her broken."

"Edward…" Tanya reached to grab my hand but I pulled away from her.

"The two of you promised me when you asked me to convince her to go to lunch with you, that it was for a clean start. That you really wanted to work things out with her." I threw my arms in the air, and couldn't help but laugh. "And I was fucking stupid enough to believe you meant it!"

"Edward watch your mouth," Esme said.

"Me? You want me to watch my manners? You, who have treated MY WIFE like a piece of shit since the day I brought her here to meet you?" I yelled at my mother.

She took a step back from me, holding her hand over her mouth.

"Both of you promised me you wouldn't ever tell her. You stood in this room and promised me that you would support the choice I had made. Neither one of you have done that." I shook my head and closed my eyes.

This had gotten so unbelievably out of hand, I didn't know if it was even possible to fix it.

Tanya stood from her chair and gently put her glass on the side table. "Edward, I know I can speak for your mother when I say that we both just think you could do better."

"Better? What's better Tanya?" I glared at her. "You?"

She delicately shrugged her shoulders. I stared at her, and for the life of me couldn't remember what I had ever seen in her to begin with. How had I let this person become one of my best friends?

When we had started dating, I had thought Tanya was the most amazing girl I had ever met. She was my best friend and had been through everything with me. But as our relationship continued, I came see how fake she actually was. She would constantly change her behavior or opinions to what other people thought would be appropriate.

"Bella is a nice girl Edward," my mother said, gently holding my arm. "But do you not see that she doesn't fit in here? She doesn't fit into your world."

I shook my head before staring around the room. My world. Is this what my world was? Was my world polo matches and wine tasting parties? Was it vacationing in Europe every year? Did my world consist of beautiful delicate women who always knew the right things to say? That never spoke out of turn, and was always the epitome of perfection?

No. My world consisted of Bella. It was filled with lazy weekends of lying in bed together watching infomercials, and wondering if we could really use what they were selling. It was filled with weekend trips to see her parents, and staying in her childhood home. Bella wasn't perfect in anyone else's eyes but mine. She was opinionated and loud. She could be bossy and demanding. But, she was Bella, and she was mine.

"No," I said, interrupting what my mother was saying.

"No?" she asked.

I looked at my mother. Really looked at her. When had she become such a fucking bitch? She had grown up in the Midwest, the daughter of an insurance salesman, but yet she judged Bella for not fitting into this lifestyle. I wondered if my father's mother had judged her the way she did Bella.

"The two of you don't belong in my world." I looked over my shoulder at Tanya. "This isn't me. It never has been."

I brushed my mother's hand off my shoulder and left. I ignored her following me and asking me to come back. I shut the door in her face and got back in my car.

There were only six people who could help me, and those six people were either going to believe what I had to say, or they were going to hate me for hurting Bella. As I pulled onto the highway I grabbed my cell phone and called the one person I knew would be the hardest to convince.

"What?"

Stupid caller ID.

"Alice, please don't hang up on me. I really need your help," I begged.

The line was quiet for a few seconds and my heart pounded. If she turned me away, I would have to call Emmett. And as much as Emmett was a best friend to me, he was still Bella's big brother.

"Come by. We have a lot we need to talk about." She hung up the phone and I immediately felt relief. If Alice was willing to help me there was still a chance all of this could work out.

I threw the phone into the passenger seat as I slammed my foot onto the gas pedal. A speeding ticket at this point was the least of my concerns.

I knew from the second that Bella and I had broken up three years ago, that I would regret it for the rest of my life. I hadn't ever thought that the ramifications of my actions way back then would be this far reaching.

It had been at Alice and Jasper's wedding that I started getting scared. I watched as two of our best friends promised to love each other for a life time, and it scared the shit out of me.

I had known early on that Bella was it for me. I knew she completed me in a way that no one else ever could, or ever had. She was so different from what I had known. In other words she was totally different from Tanya. She was real. Her days weren't consumed with what other people thought about her.

We had been together for four years when Alice and Jasper got married. Bella and I had just graduated, and had both found great jobs. The timing was perfect for us to get engaged. So why the hell did I freeze up?

Bella hadn't pressured me about marriage, but it obviously got brought up in conversation. Having two of our best friends getting married pretty much made most of our conversations about weddings. But there was something about seeing her in that bridesmaids dress, holding Alice's flowers. Something about it made me freeze.

It had been two weeks since their wedding when everything came crashing down. I had called her at work, asking her to meet me for dinner.

As soon as she walked into that restaurant I knew I was making a mistake. Something in the back of my mind was telling me to just keep my mouth shut, but something else, something bigger, told me I had to get out.

"Hey," she said while sitting down. I watched the way her eyes looked over my face as she sat across the table from me. "Are you ok?"

I lied, saying I was fine, which had been my response to that question since she had started asking it the day after Alice and Jasper's wedding. And every time I said it she knew I was lying.

I watched her all through dinner, taking in all of her mannerisms. How she tucked her hair behind her ears when she talked, how her fingers traced over the stem of the silverware. I watched the way her lips moves as she spoke, how her eyes never left mine. It was heart breaking.

I was silent through dinner, only answering direct questions to be polite. I kept telling myself to take in as much of her as I could, because even if both of us agreed to be friends, we wouldn't see each other anytime soon. It would be too hard, for her especially. I knew I would lose the friends we had made as a couple. I knew I would be the asshole that broke her heart for no reason.

I paid for dinner, knowing that once we reached her car I would be leaving the one person I had come to realize I couldn't ever live without.

She walked beside me, her small hand wrapped around mine. I knew Bella wasn't stupid. She knew something was going on. I wouldn't have been surprised if she would have been wondering when and where I was going to do this. We reached her car and it felt as if my whole body had gone numb.

In the twenty seconds it took for her to find her keys, my mind replayed every moment of our relationship. The first time I had seen her, sitting at our chemistry table. Our first date and how cute she was when she was nervous. Our first kiss, real kiss, and the same night I told her I loved her. My mind could hear the song I had written. It was playing as all the pivotal moments of our life together went through my mind. The first time we had made love, how it wasn't awkward or fumbling. It was beautiful and perfect, like we had been made for each other. My mind recalled all of her perfect smiles and her infectious laughter. I could recall each and every freckle that covered her body, and how when she was asleep I could lightly trace patterns across her skin, connecting them. Then, I remembered our last kiss. The last kiss I thought I would ever have with her. How my hands had fit perfectly against her neck, while my thumbs gently traced over her cheeks.

"Just tell me," she had said. Her voice had tried to be strong and untroubled. She let go of my arm, and I knew that was it.

"I can't do this anymore Bella." I didn't lie to her. It was the truth. At that point in my life, there was no way I could continue in a relationship with her, feeling the way I felt. It wasn't fair to her.

She looked up at me, and for a second I thought she was going to hit me. I knew I deserved it.

Bella, always surprising me, simply nodded her head. She leaned up in her tiptoes and gently kissed my cheek. I looked down, not able to meet her gaze, not wanting to see the hurt and devastation I would see there. Her hands wrapped around my elbows, pulling me to her.

"Please look at me," she whispered.

Reluctantly I looked at her. Tears were slowly falling down her cheeks, and as her fingers traced over my own, I realized I was crying as well.

"I'll love you forever Edward." My chest tightened as her voice broke when she said my name. "And I hope we can be friends."

I nodded, knowing that really wasn't a possibility. We stood there just looking at each other, until she nodded again and opened her door. I shut the door once she was inside, and when she started the engine I slowly walked away.

At the point in my life, that was the hardest thing I had ever done. I closed my eyes, and kept telling myself it wasn't fair to her. It wasn't fair to continue a long term relationship with no guarantee that I would marry her. She wanted marriage, she had told me that, but I couldn't promise her that.

My heart was screaming at me, telling me to go back before it was too late. But when I stopped and turned around, the silhouette of Bella's shaking shoulders hunched over her steering wheel told me I had to keep walking.

It was better to do this now, than another three years from now. The result would be the same. So I turned back around and walked away from the best thing I had in my life.

As I got in my car, I had no idea how I was going to make this work. There were still issues we had to discuss; we still had to get things from the other's apartment. There was no way this was over.

So for five months, I stayed away from Bella. We saw each other occasionally at parties that our friends threw, but for the most part it was too difficult to be around each other. And, in that five month period I made one of the worst mistakes of my life. A mistake that was now threatening to ruin my marriage.

As I pulled into the driveway of Alice and Jasper's house, I saw Alice standing in the front doorway. I got out of my car, preparing myself for the worst. Alice may be little, but she was mean. She would rip your head off and not think twice about it. She was Bella's best friend, and if anyone on earth could help me figure out how to fix this, it would be her. But, as her best friend, that also meant she could kick me in the balls just for spite.

"Did you do it?" Alice asked with her arms folded across her chest.

"No." I looked her in the eyes, knowing that Alice had some weird ass way of knowing when and if someone was lying to her.

She stared at me for a few seconds before moving aside. "Come in."

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding and moved into the house. I was babbling about how I wouldn't ever hurt Bella that way and that I really just wanted all of this fixed, but stopped when I entered the living room.

Five sets of eyes were staring at me, and for a split second I seriously considered making a run for it.

Emmett moved from his seat next to Rosalie and walked towards me. I hoped he knew Alice would kill him if we got in a fight in her living room.

"So you didn't do it?" he asked once he was standing in front of me.

"Emmett you know I wouldn't do that to Bella." I hoped he knew I was telling the truth.

Thankfully he nodded his head before pulling me into a hug. I normally wasn't a man hug type of guy, but as I looked around at Ben, Angela, Rosalie, and Jasper I had never been more thankful for the support they were offering me.

**A/N**

**I hope this answered some questions, but also made you wonder WTF is going on?!?!?! HAH. Edward is a very kind person and a good man, but just does dumbass things. If you want a song for this chapter I would have to say Almost Lover by a Fine Frenzy and Comfortable by John Mayer. I listened to those on repeat while writing this.**

**Di- love you bb kik, rite ur shit. HAH**

**I have to say this chapter is for someone, who I can't mention, but the fact that I can't mention them should be a clue. You know who you are, thanks for always being there for me to talk to, and for sending me regular death threats to update my story.**

**To my Ally, who I know would kick my husband in the balls if he needed it.**

**Beezy and Julsey- I love both of you**

**Thanks for all of the reviews!!! They mean a lot to me!!!**


	10. No Damned Filter

**Ok just to clear things up… this is taking place the week after Bella broke her leg. And we are back to BPOV**

**Seven Weeks after the Honeymoon**

"Cullen!"

I turned my head on my pillow to look at Edward. He was shaking his head while pulling his own pillow up over his face.

Alice stormed through the house. Once she reached our bedroom, her hands flew to her hips and her foot tapped a fast rhythmic cadence. She glared at the shape of my husband's body hidden under the blankets of our bed.

"Alice, you should learn to knock. You might come in here one day and find something you're not really expecting to see," he mumbled from under his pillow. I watched the two of them with mild amusement. Whatever painkillers Dr. Michaels had prescribed were apparently working.

She waved her hand as if none of it mattered before walking to his side of the bed and hitting his stomach. "Did I not tell you that I would beat your ass if you hurt Bella? I go away for a week. I come back to find that you pushed her off a curb which resulted in her breaking her leg?"

She hit his stomach again before Edward sat up and grabbed her hands. "Well Bella beat the shit out of me already, so you're too late."

Alice raised an eyebrow at the plaster that was formed around Edward's once perfect nose. The matching set of shiners only added to her amusement..

"You probably deserved it, asshat." Alice ruffled Edward's hair before crawling over him and lying in between the two of us.

The two of them argued like brother and sister. It never changed. It was like a contest to see who could make the other one the most miserable. Alive normally won, but I am pretty sure that's because Edward was scared of her. Hell, I was scared of her, and she was my best friend.

"So Bella," Alice began, leaning her head back on my pillow. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fantastic." My words were slurred by the painkillers, and I was pretty sure I might have been drooling. When I raised my arm to wipe my mouth off, I accidently hit my forehead by mistake.

"And exactly how much morphine have you been giving this girl?" she asked Edward.

Alice grabbed my arm and my wiped the drool off the side of my face. She was such a good friend.

Edward, my loving and dutiful husband looked over the top of Alice's head and laughed at my lack of coordination. I narrowed my eyes at him. He was such an assflap.

"Alice you know she's a lightweight for drugs. I could have given her half of one of those pills and she would be just as loopy." Edward laughed as my hand aimed for his head, but hit Alice by mistake.

She slipped off of our bed and began picking things up from around the room. I could have told her to stop, but Alice liked to clean and I didn't have the energy or coordination to argue with her.

"So I guess you guys aren't going out for New Years," Alice mused as she gently fluffed the pillows under my leg.

"You guessed right." Edward pushed himself out of bed and stretched his arms above his head. I watched as his grey t-shirt rose to the middle of his stomach which gave the most glorious view of his abdomen. I bit my lip as his flannel pajama bottoms gave me most fantastic view of his v-line. _Good Lord my husband was hot. I mean, like gloriously hot. I just wanted to rake my fingernails over his stomach while licking my way down his hips…_

"Ok gross," Alice said, hitting my arm.

"What? Am I still drooling?" I tried to feel my face but missed again. These fucking drugs were killing my coordination.

"No, but I don't want to hear about you licking Edward's stomach," she said with a sigh.

"What?" I looked at Alice before turning to Edward, who was staring at me with one of his eyebrows cocked and that silly sexy stupid crooked smile on his face.

"I think the drugs have gotten rid of your internal filter baby girl. Edward, stop looking at her like that!"

_Well shit. I tried to remember if I had actually spoken that out loud. Either way it wasn't my fault that Edward was so fucking hot. It just made your mind wonder sometimes. There were several times when just watching him in the grocery store, or even at fucking Home Depot where I just wanted to tackle him to the ground and just have at it. Just throw him against the meat cooler and ride that bitch all day long._

"Oh my God Bella you have to stop," Alice said, covering her ears.

Well shit. I'm doing it again.

"No Bella please continue." Edward waved his hand gesturing me to carry on.

"Edward your head is big enough as it is. Any bigger and I will be concerned." Alice shook her head while resting her hand on her hip.

I smiled. _Edward's head was indeed big. Just perfect.. And when his hips swivel and it hits that one gloriously magnificent spot…_

"BELLA! SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!" Alice's hand flew over my mouth. "God it's like you're doing this on purpose! And you shouldn't be enjoying this as much as you are Edward."

This could really be a problem if it continued. Edward, of course, sat there looking smug and very please with himself.

"Smugward," I said with a giggle, and Alice snorted while trying to cover up her laughter.

"What?" he asked. The smile fell off his face.

"You heard her. She called you Smugward!" Alice picked my hand up, assisting me in giving her high five.

"Whatever Whitlock, at least you know the small dick jokes aren't viable anymore," Edward said, turning to leave the room.

"She's on drugs. I'm not taking her word on anything Cullen," she called out toward his retreating back.

As he left the room I saw him flip Alice off before shutting the door behind him.

Alice stayed for a few hours, long enough to make dinner for us. It was a relief to not eat fast food or pizza, and I was even more relieved that Edward didn't have to attempt to cook.

The next few days passed in an array of different people coming by to check on us, while Edward did his best to be a nursemaid. I didn't have the heart to tell him he sucked at it, but then again my internal monologue might have been down. He didn't seem mad, so I took that as a good sign. I had to admit, for all the god awfulness that his cooking was, his bathing techniques more than made up for it.

New Year's Eve was sad. We always went out. It had become a tradition, an anniversary of sorts. New Year's Eve was the night that Edward and I had gotten back together after our stupid five month break up.

He had been so cute and nervous, standing on that tiny stage singing his heart out. I could lie and say that it had been some powerfully romantic love song, even a cheesy eighties power ballad. But, knowing I would have hated that shit, he got up there with Ben, Emmett, and Jasper and sang "Build Me Up Buttercup." The three of them had to have practiced for weeks, because their dance moves were flawless.

I had told Alice I didn't want to go out with them that New Year's. It was horrible being the third wheel. But as always, Alice got her way and I ended up going. I had been sitting at that small table, watching everyone dancing and having fun. I was giving Alice twenty more minutes before I was leaving. There was no way I was going to be the sad lonely girl with no one to kiss at midnight.

As I was about to leave, I heard the music stop and someone called my name over the sound system. I peered through the smoke, and before I could even let the embarrassment of having everyone look at me take over my body, my heart started pounding at the fact that Edward was standing on that stage.

I watched in awe as he started singing that stupidly fantastic song. The same song he had sung to me time after time at all of his various karaoke gigs. Looking back, it really was a horrible song to sing to try and win me back. The lyrics basically call "Buttercup" a cocktease who the singer just put up with. But to me, no other song could have meant as much.

As the song came to its end, the entire club was singing along. I laughed once it was over, and Edward jumped off the stage and basically ran at a full out sprint towards me. I had never been as happy or relieved as his arms wrapped around my waist and spun me around. I remember how easy it was to ignore the cheering and clapping around us. It was so easy to just see and feel him. That was probably one of the happiest moments of my life.

"It's time for new beginnings," he had whispered against my ear. as we slowly danced and the seconds ticked down to midnight. I knew he wasn't just being cheesy about the New Year. I knew what he had meant. It was time for a new beginning for us. Ok it was still cheesy. But that was Edward, and I loved it. And I loved him.

So every year since then, New Year's Eve had become night for major celebrations for the two of us. And every year he would lean against my ear and sing that stupid song. And every year I loved it.

To say I was pissed off that I would be spending New Year's Eve in bed with a broken leg was a huge understatement. I seriously considered just seeing if we could get a wheelchair from Carlisle and going out anyway, but Carlisle would give me a stern lecture on staying off of my leg and I just didn't want to deal with that.

So instead of being at some fabulous restaurant or party at 11:45 on New Year's Eve, I was leaning against our headboard and eating cookie dough ice cream. No sexy black dress, just my comfortable pajama pants that now had one leg cut off at the knee so I could wear them with my cast, along with one of Edward's t-shirts.

"Edward, it's almost time. Come in here and kiss me!" I yelled grumpily.

I heard him walking down the hallway, but didn't notice him once he stopped in the doorway. He cleared his throat, and once I looked at him I am pretty sure my mouth fell open.

He was standing in the door way of our bedroom wearing one of the best looking suits I had ever seen him in. My eyes narrowed at his tie. I was pretty sure that it was the one I had worn during our little photo session. His crisp white shirt was a wonderful contrast against his black suit. His hair, always a disarray of curls, looked divine. He had one hand behind his back, but in the other had a bottle of champagne with two flutes.

He slowly walked over to my side of the bed, and from behind his back handed me a cheesy little New Year's Eve crown, complete with feathers and glitter. I laughed as he slid in on my head.

"Mrs. Cullen, I do believe that this being our first New Year's Eve as a married couple, I deserve at least one dance." He poured the champagne in the glasses before turning to look at me.

"And exactly how would you like me to do that?" I laughed while asking.

"I have my ways." He pulled the remote to our iHome out of his pocket and hit play.

I smiled as the familiar music filled our bedroom. Edward Cullen was nothing if not cheesetastic. He was a sentimental fool and I loved him for it.

One of his arms gently snaked under my knees, while the other wrapped around my back under my arms. As he lifted me gently off the bed, he began singing along with the music.

"I need you, more than anyone darling. You know that I have from the start. Build me up Buttercup, don't break my heart."

I giggled as he gently nuzzled my ear. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled as he gently swung me around in his arms in time with the music.

"Sing it Bells." Edward laughed as I shook my one good foot in time with the beat.

"Baby! Baby! Try to find a little time and I'll make you mine! I'll be home! I'll be beside the phone waiting for you!!!" I sang as loud as I could.

And there we were. Two of the biggest goofballs ever, but loving every second of it.

"Happy New Years," he said, gently kissing my earlobe as the music came to a stop

I smiled as Edward stopped spinning the two of us around and just looked down at me.

"What?" I asked, as my fingers ran through the back of his hair.

"Second best New Year's Eve."

I nodded in agreement as he looked over my shoulder at the TV.

"Ten seconds." He gently sat me back on the bed and handed me my glass of champagne before sitting beside me.

"I probably shouldn't drink this. The pills are making me loopy enough."

He laughed before straightening my crown. "It's sparkling cider. I didn't want you to try and get up and run around the yard naked."

I playfully hit his shoulder, but he ignored me and started counting.

"Five…"

"Four…"

"Three…" He smiled as he leaned down over me.

"Two…" I giggled as his wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"One," we said together.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as his lips fell upon mine. I sucked his bottom lip in between my own, and smiled as he moaned against my lips.

I ran my hands up his chest as his fingers curled around my hips. I grabbed his tie and began pulling it undone. When his damn cell phone started ringing, I kept a firm grip on his tie and refused to let him go.

"Ignore it," I mumbled against his lips.

His hand reached for the phone on the night stand, and when he showed me it was Emmett I groaned. My fucking cockblocking brother.

"Why isn't he off kissing Rosalie?" I asked, throwing my head back against the pillow.

He flipped his phone open and held it up to his ear. "Hey Em."

I flipped Edward and his phone off as he took my glass with fake champagne from me and set it on the bedside table.

"You did what?" Edward asked excitedly. "Well congratulations man!"

I sat up on my elbows and mouthed for Edward to tell me what was going on. He ignored me, and continued talking as if I wasn't sitting there.

"Yeah I'll tell her. Happy New Year's man! Ok, bye!" He flipped his phone shut and had one of the goofiest smiles I had ever seen on his face.

"What? Did Emmett win the lottery or something?" I asked.

"Emmett asked Rosalie to marry him. She said yes."

I looked from Edward's face down to the phone in his hand. _Emmett's getting married?_

"Seems like it! She said yes!" Edward rubbed my stomach enthusiastically.

Stupid damn inner monologue not working!

My brother was getting married. To a girl. I mean not to say that Emmett was gay, but I mean Rosalie was a nice girl. She was intelligent and beautiful, and could carry on a normal conversation with people. Holy shit! Emmett was getting married!

"Bella are you ok?" Edward asked slowly.

"Emmett's getting married," I said, staring at him.

He nodded slowly while his hand went to my forehead to see if I had a fever.

"Emmett's going to be a father." I kept staring at him.

Edward laughed but nodded his head. "If they eventually decide to have children, then yes."

I shook my head. I was confused as hell. This was Emmett. He always said he wouldn't ever get married. I mean I was excited. Thrilled actually, but shocked.

I shook my head when Edward's phone started ringing again. This time it was that fucking annoying ass ring he had for Esme.

"Happy New Year's mom." He sighed and shrugged out of the suit jacket he had on.

He stopped halfway through the act and stared at me. "Umm," he began. "I don't really know I would have to talk to Bella."

I shook my head, wondering what the hell Esme could be wanting now. If it was another lunch date she could kiss my ass. That shit wasn't happening anytime soon.

"No, let me talk to her and I'll call you back."

I could hear Esme's shrill voice as Edward closed his eyes and shook his head. "Hold on." He pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at me. He was nervous, and that wasn't a good sign.

"My mother wants to come down at help take care of you when I go back to work on Monday."

_IS SHE FUCKING INSANE?_

Edward reached with one hand to cover my mouth while the other held the phone against his leg, hoping to block out my yelling. I fell back against the bed, covering my face with a pillow. _STUPID MOTHER-FUCKING FAULTY JACKED UP NON-EXISTANT INNER MONOLOUGE!!!_

**A/N- AHAHAHAH You've got to love being drugged up and not knowing what you're saying. Esme is pretty forgiving. She should be cool with it. Right?**

**So… I hope I have more than made up for my extended absence. Three chapters in three days… YAY ME!! Actually, more is to come because I will be without internet for a week or two while my cable company replaces some lines. STUPID CABLE COMPANY!! So if you review and I don't respond please don't get mad. I will as soon as I have internet back.**

**As always… Di… do I even have to say it??? I mean really… you should know how much I love you by now. SAY IT!! SAY IT OUT LOUD!!! haha**

**Beezy… thanks for the YouTube video today.**

**Julsey baby this is for you!! I hope it makes your shitty week better.**

**I won't mention names, but I have heard that some of you have admitted to singing along with Emmett during his rick rolling karaoke. I think that is made of so much awesome. You have no idea!!**

**If you need a song for this chapter, then you need help. The song choice should be obvious.**

**Enjoy guys, and have a fantastic weekend!!!**


	11. Floral Puke

**Ok… here it is!!! I have to say this chapter is for two people. The first is for Kim who told me "If you write it, they will cum..er come." You waited a long time for this chapter so this is for you! And for Mel, who is so in love with Mr. Jasper Whitlock. So proud of you graduating baby!!! :o)**

I had endured a month of Esme's nursing services basically unscathed. I mean we argued – mostly when she would have rude ass comments about my choice of underwear, or as she called them, "Satan's undergarments." And I sort of flew off the handle when she decided to rearrange all of my kitchen cabinets to make it easier for her. But, for the most part I pretended to sleep while she pillaged through our things.

Dr. Michaels had just released me back to normal everyday activities, and although that meant that I would still be in a walking boot, it also meant that Esme's ass would be leaving. Praise the Lord.

"When is your mom leaving?" I asked as I looked over my shoulder at the front door. As Edward shoved the last of Esme's suitcases in the back of her car, I wondered why someone needed five suitcases for a month. It was beyond me.

He pulled the trunk down and said, "She said she was going to wait until Yadira comes by. She arranged for her to come clean the house before she leaves."

"Edward," I said, starting to interrupt him, but he cut me off.

"Bella, she really wants to help. Just please let her do it." When I nodded, he smiled and leaned down kissing the tip of my nose. I knew this had been difficult for him. He had tried to keep the peace between both of us and not take sides.

I sighed as his thumbs traced down the side of my cheeks and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. The two of us would finally, FINALLY, be alone again. No more Esme checking up on us ten times a night. No more being worried that his mother would walk in on us. FINALLY there would be sex again. Dirty, hot, make-your-toes-curl kind of sex. But before either of us could get more than a chaste kiss we were interrupted by a loud engine and someone yelling.

"FREE AT LAST! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY YOU ARE FREE AT LAST!" Alice yelled as she stuck her head out of the window of Jasper's 1956 corvette.

I jerked my head to indicate that Esme's car was still in the driveway, but Alice didn't notice. As she jumped out of the car singing the words to "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead," I groaned, hoping to God that Esme didn't hear her.

"No more crutches! No more bed rest! No more mother in law!" Alice stopped and stared at the front door, a look of amusement and not one trace of embarrassment on her face. "Well it's nice to see you Mrs. Cullen."

"Fuck." I whispered under my breath. Alice and Esme had been in an altercation twice before. The first one happened at our engagement party my parent's had thrown, and the second was about thirty minutes before the wedding started.

I looked back at Esme, who was still standing on our front porch with a look of utter disgust on her face.

Edward thankfully interceded as he sided up to Alice and draped an arm around her shoulder. "Mom, you remember Alice and Jasper, don't you?"

Esme looked between Alice and Edward and merely nodded her head. "What a surprise," she said with her signature fake smile.

"Alice is taking Bella to lunch with Emmett's fiancé while Jasper and I go help Ben," Edward explained as Alice continued to glare at Esme.

I could see the gears in Alice's mind turning. She was going from the normal, nice-Alice, to bitch-Alice that could rip your throat out.

"Well Mrs. Cullen," A deep southern accent drawled. "It has been too long since we've seen each other."

Four sets of eyes turned to Jasper who was sauntering up to the front porch. Jasper Whitlock was like kryptonite to Esme Cullen. She was sucked in by his Southern gentleman charm and easy going nature. All Jasper had to do was send one of his lazy smiles her way and she was putty in his hands. If it wasn't so disgusting it might have been funny.

"Jasper, now this is a pleasant surprise. Have you gotten taller?" Esme asked, holding her hand out as Jasper reached the porch.

"No Ma'am," he said, making sure to lay his accent on extra thick.

Both Alice and I looked at each other as he took one of her hands and kissed it before winking at her. I bit my lip to keep from laughing while Alice just rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Bella come on. Let's go before I punch someone in the throat." Alice grabbed my purse before looking at Edward and saying, "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," he replied, giving her a quick hug before turning back to me. "And you behave yourself."

"Me?" I asked with a playful smile. "What do you think I am going to do?" I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he gently lifted me up to him.

"You just need to know that I have plans for you tonight, so don't wear yourself out with lunch or shopping or whatever it is Alice is going to drag you into." He shot me a look that told me he wasn't joking around. Had I not been in our driveway with his mother and our friends less than ten feet away, I would have ripped his clothes off and let him take me right there in front of the house. I could feel my cheeks starting to burn as he gave me a quick kiss and set me back on the ground.

"If you are teasing me, just know I will hurt you," I said, narrowing my eyes at him and trying my best to look threatening. He only smiled and opened the car door for me.

I got into the car and watched as Alice moved the driver's seat as close as she could to the steering wheel. She still had to sit on the edge of the seat to really reach the pedals.

"Ready?" she asked. I nodded, and she smiled and put the car in reverse, making the gears grind. Jasper, who had still been talking with Esme, looked back at us and lowered his sunglasses down his nose. Alice simply waved and backed out of our driveway, gunning it as soon as she hit the street.

Alice drove like a bat out of hell in Jasper's car, and we reached the restaurant much faster than we should have. She blamed it on the car, and the fact that it was just made to go faster than the legal speed limit. It was a wonder that she hadn't gotten a speeding ticket, but then again, the last three she received had been dismissed. She knew exactly what to say to Charlie to get them taken care of. Her little sweet and innocent routine always worked on him.

During lunch, Rosalie begged Alice to help her plan her wedding, though begging wasn't really necessary. Alice didn't need an excuse to boss people around. She also asked me if I would be a bridesmaid, and I was touched.

We were a little surprised that Rosalie and Emmett had decided to get married in May, not leaving a lot of time for preparation. But nothing could stop Alice from getting everything taken care of.

"Well, let's see. We will need to get your dress, the bridesmaid's dresses, the photographer and the location settled first," Alice said as she began scribbling in a notebook.

Rosalie nodded but twisted her hands in her lap. She kept shooting me nervous looks while Alice continued to ramble on and on about colors and fabric choices.

When Alice's cell phone started ringing I leaned into Rosalie and asked, "Are you ok? You seem a little distracted."

"Bella, I… I need to ask you a question," Rosalie whispered.

I nodded my head, hoping whatever it was didn't involve sex and my brother.

"Well, my best friend from back home is going to be my maid of honor, and that means I'll have two bridesmaids," she started.

I nodded my head wondering where the hell she was going with this.

"Well, Emmett is going to ask Edward to be his best man, but he thinks it would be a really nice gesture for Jacob to be a groomsman too."

_Oh hell._

"If you are against it, I can tell Emmett that it won't work…" Rosalie said, but trailed off once she saw the hesitation on my face.

"Rosalie, no," I began, shaking my head and smiling at her. "This is your wedding. If Emmett wants Jacob to be in the wedding then we can make it work. And I'm sure it would mean a lot to my parents."

"I just don't want a fight at the wedding. Emmett told me about what happened with Edward's mother at yours."

"There won't be a fight at the wedding," Alice said, rejoining the conversation. "Edward knows better, and Jacob Black is scared to death of me."

Rosalie laughed, but I could tell she was still nervous. She probably didn't really believe that Alice could in fact scare a grown man three times her size, but it was true. Alice scared the shit out of several grown men – Jacob, Edward, and Emmett to name a few.

"Now Rosalie, how do you feel about the color coral?" Alice asked as she started writing in her notebook again. After a few more wedding details had been nailed down, I rode with Alice back to my house.

"Bella you will be gorgeous in that color! And I need you to help me talk to Edward about letting them use one of his original songs for the wedding. It will just be so much more personal," she said, speeding through my neighborhood.

I only nodded as she continued listing things we would need to do. When we pulled into my empty driveway and opened the front door, we both stopped and stared at the room in front of us.

"Am I at the right house?" I asked in a loud whisper. The room looking nothing like it did when I left the house this afternoon.

Alice walked past the foyer and looked into the living room. "Oh hell…"

Her purse dropped onto the floor as her hands flew over her mouth.

I stared at her, hoping there wasn't a dead body on the floor, but when she picked up her bag and started trying to push me back out of the house I decided I needed to see it for myself. I shoved my way past her and as when I saw what my living room had been turned into I opened my mouth to scream, but absolutely no sound came out.

It was like someone had thrown up floral patterns all over my living room. My leather couches and rustic wooden tables had been replaced with a hideous pink and red floral couch, and the new end tables were covered in white lace. My windows were covered in tacky, baby pink drapes.

"Did you hire someone with really bad taste to redecorate your house?" Alice asked quietly while moving through the living room taking in all of the differences. "Edward wouldn't do this, would he?"

I shook my head, and when my eyes fell upon the god awful crystal vase that had been given to us by Tanya, I knew that only one person would have done this. Esme-fucking-Cullen.

I started shaking, and as I sunk into the couch my head started spinning. "Esme," I said, glaring at the vase that had been brought from the china cabinet and put on display on the mantel in the living room. "No one else would have done this."

I closed my eyes and concentrated on not puking. How could she do this? I mean I knew Esme was crazy, but to totally redecorate our house without talking to us? That was beyond crazy – it was insane! She was really fucking insane!

I heard the front door open and felt someone sink onto the couch next to me.

"I think she might be in shock," Alice said in a quiet voice.

"Bella? Are you ok?" Jasper asked while gently shaking my arm.

I blinked slowly and looked at him. "She redecorated my living room."

He gave me a tentative smile and said, "We can redo it Bella."

"My wedding gifts are gone. The silver picture frame my grandmother gave me is gone."

Alice looked around the room and when she had a sharp intake of breath I spun around and looked at her.

"What?" I asked, looking between her and Jasper, but he looked just as confused as I was.

"Your great grandfather's end table is gone," she said in a low, calm voice.

I pushed myself away from the couch and looked around the room frantically. When I noticed that it was not there, I hobbled through the entire house, hoping and praying that she hadn't been that stupid. I heard Jasper and Alice following behind me, and when the last of the closets had been searched, I felt a sob starting to build in my chest.

"Where is Edward?" I asked, slamming the closet door shut.

I rounded on Jasper, and he looked nervously between Alice and me and said, "Um, he had some errands to run."

I fisted my shaking hands and said, "Please call him. Have him call his fucking mother to find out where my table is," I said as Jasper dumbly nodded. "And then tell him he needs to come home. Now."

I left Jasper and Alice standing there and walked back into the living room. As I passed through the kitchen I grabbed the trash can. I dropped it next to the window, and although I knew it was extremely stupid I crawled onto the couch and starting ripping the hideous curtains down. The sound of fabric tearing made me feel slightly better.

"Bella!" I heard Alice yell at me as I threw the curtains in the trash. "What are you doing? You could fall and break your leg again!"

I ignored her and continued grabbing the fabric I could reach. I pulled as hard as I could.

"Jasper!" She yelled as she stood behind me in case I fell.

I heard him walk up behind me and before I knew what he was doing, he picked me up and pulled me off the couch. "Bella, I know you are mad and upset, but if you fall and hurt yourself again it will only make things worse."

Ignoring his warnings, I asked if he had gotten a hold of Edward.

"I couldn't get a hold of Edward, but I called Esme. She donated your things to Goodwill," he said.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Alice yelled from behind me.

"I need the keys," I said, holding my hand out.

Jasper shook his head, and instead of giving me the keys he said, "Come on, I'll drive you."

I grabbed my purse and walked as fast as I could outside. "Why are you in Edward's car?" I asked, looking back at Jasper.

"I'll explain later. Just get in." Jasper walked past me and opened the car door for me.

I frowned at his lack of explanation, but got in the car anyway. Alice called from the front door that she would get rid of as much Esme's disgusting floral additions as she could while we were gone.

"It will be fine Bella. We will go and explain what happened and get your stuff back," Jasper said in a calming voice.

"I don't care about the couches and the rugs. I don't even care about all the wedding gifts she just gave away. I just want my end table back before my mom finds out and kills me." I bit my bottom lip nervously. "Her grandfather made that with his own hands."

He nodded but didn't say anything. That was one of the best things about Jasper. He knew when to talk, and when to just offer silent support.

When we arrived at the Goodwill store Jasper helped me out of the car. When we walked into the store, my eyes immediately began scanning the store for my table.

"Can I help you?" the saleswoman asked, but I walked past her and began looking through the furniture around the store. I ignored the other people shopping and muttered hurried apologies when I bumped into them. The more I looked and didn't see anything, the more panicked I became.

"Jasper it isn't here," I shouted from the back of the store. I took a deep breath to keep myself from crying. When he didn't respond, I turned to look back towards the front of the store and saw him arguing with a very short and balding man.

I started making my way back towards the front of the store and saw that sitting in between the two of them was my table.

"My table!" I said, smiling and clapping excitedly as I reached the two of them. "Oh thank you so much!"

I hugged Jasper's arm and breathed a sigh of relief.

"I hate to break it to you Miss, but I just bought this table. So technically it is mine," The short man said, shooting an annoyed glance at Jasper then back to me.

"No, no, no. You don't understand," I said quickly. "This table was hand made by my great grandfather, and my crazy mother in law donated it without my consent. I really need this table back because it is a family heirloom."

I looked at him pleadingly but he just shook his head. "I just bought this as a wedding gift, so I am sorry," he said, picking up the table. As he walked around Jasper and me, he said, "Now if you will excuse me."

I grabbed his arm and shook my head. "Sir, please. Please – I will pay you whatever you want. Double or triple what you just paid for it. Just please let me have my table back."

He shook my arm off of his causing me to topple backwards into Jasper. "Lady I am not selling you this table. Now back off!"

I grabbed the legs of the table as Jasper tried to move around me. I yanked on the legs, refusing to let this asshole leave this store with my table. I mean who the hell buys a wedding gift at the fucking Goodwill?

"Bella, let go and let me handle this," Jasper said, trying to pry my hands off the legs of the table. I ignored him and pulled the table towards me.

"This is my table!" the man shouted, pulling the table back towards him.

By this point, the saleswoman and several other customers had gathered around the three of us. My once quiet pleadings had turned into me screaming at the man holding my table hostage, him yelling at me to back off, and Jasper trying desperately to defuse the situation.

"If you do not let go of this table I will hit you. I swear to God I will!" I screamed in frustration

"Bella you have got to calm down," Jasper said, as he placed his hand on my shoulder. I refused to listen and continued pulling on my table.

"Sir, if you can't get her to calm down I am going to have to call the police," the young saleswoman said, looking between the three of us. "She is threatening customers."

Jaspers hands finally pried my fingers away from the table and held my arms against my side. I tried to pull away from him, but even with all of my efforts it didn't stop the table thief from running from the store as fast as he could.

"Bella come on," Jasper said. His hands became gentler and less restraining as the tears I had been holding at bay started pouring down my cheeks. "Come on, I'll take you home and Edward and I will figure this out."

I shook my head and pushed his hands off my shoulders. As I made my way out of the store I thought about how this had all started.

I hated Esme, I absolutely hated her. She was a bitch. She was rude and condescending. I could eventually forgive her for most of the stunts she pulled and simply let go of them. But she had taken something from me that couldn't be replaced, and for that I didn't think I could ever forgive her.

I sat on the curb next to Edward's car and laid my head down on my knees. My arms instinctively wrapped around my sides as the winter wind blew my hair around my shoulders. Never in my life had I been so devastated and mad at the same time.

"Bella?" Jasper asked softly as he sat next to me. "Do you want me to take you home?"

I nodded slowly and let him help up. I didn't really want to go home and be forced to deal with the floral puke that was now all over my living room, but I was exhausted.

"The rest of your furniture that they hadn't sold will be delivered tomorrow," he said quietly.

I nodded my head, wondering what else had been sold. It didn't matter though. Everything else could easily be replaced. Everything except my end table.

"I'll write you a check when we get back to the house," I whispered.

"I'm not really worried about the money," he said.

I stared out at the darkening sky which threatened rain, and I smiled despite myself. Jasper had sounded so much like Edward just then, and I needed him more than ever.

"Where is Edward?" I asked louder than I meant to.

"I would imagine that by now he is at your house either being yelled at by Alice, or he's on the phone with his mother threatening to never speak to her again," Jasper replied without looking at me.

"Where was he today? Why didn't he come back to the house with you?" I crossed my arms and watched as Jasper refused to look at me.

"He was running errands," he said. "I told you."

"So, he was planning something which you are not supposed to tell me about? Because I hate to break it to you both, but whatever was planned is not happening."

He nodded and pulled onto our street. "I know, new plans are happening."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

But Jasper only shook his head and pulled into our driveway. He honked, which surprised me, and as I got out of the car I noticed that he wasn't moving.

Edward and Alice both came out of the house. Alice ran past me and over to Jasper's side of the car as Edward pulled me into a hug that lifted me up off the ground.

"I am so sorry Bella," he whispered against the side of my head as I hugged him back tightly.

"It isn't your fault that your mother is fucked up in the head Edward."

He sat me down and gently tucked my hair behind my ears and smiled sadly.

"I am going to fix this, I promise." He leaned down and kissed me, his lips moving slowly against mine. When he pulled away I groaned and just wished that we could start this day all over again.

He kissed the top of my head, and after jumping in the car, Jasper pulled out of our driveway, leaving Alice and I staring at each other across the front yard.

"Do you know what they are doing?" I asked as Alice made her way towards me.

"Yup." She wrapped an arm around my shoulder and we walked back inside together. "And before you ask, no, I will not tell you what they are doing."

"Are they going to kill Esme?" I asked. "Because really, that would just make things worse. I would hate to have to bail Edward and Jasper out of jail." I smiled at my pathetic attempt at a joke and threw my purse onto my hideous floral couch.

I looked around the room, and when it only made me more upset I just left and went back into the bedroom. Alice followed behind me, and when I kicked off my one shoe and crawled into bed, she turned the light off and joined me. We laid there, not talking, just listening to the sound of the rain that had finally arrived.

"Do you think it's like a chemical imbalance?" Alice asked, finally breaking the silence. She rolled over on her side to face me when I didn't answer.

I stared at the ceiling, not really ignoring Alice, just wondering how to answer that question. Did I think Esme really had something mentally wrong with her? Yes. Did I think that half of the stunts she pulled were strictly because she didn't like me? Yes.

I shrugged my shoulders and quickly wiped my eyes hoping Alice didn't catch on to the fact that I was crying.

"Bella, don't cry. We will find a way to get the table back. I promise." Her hand found mine and she gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"It isn't just the table. I mean I am devastated, but it isn't just the table." I let out a shaky breath and shook my head.

"Bella, there isn't anything wrong with you. If she doesn't like you, then it's her own problem not yours."

I let out a sarcastic laugh and smiled at Alice's genuine gesture to reassure me.

"It is my problem, because it is like she is deliberately trying to ruin my marriage. That's a big problem Alice. A huge problem."

She didn't say anything, and I couldn't blame her. Jasper's parents loved Alice and they had since day one. She didn't have to worry about his mother trying to sabotage their marriage, or think that she was just a money grubbing whore.

"It never ends. She does something to make me mad, then Edward talks to her and she pretends that she will try to do better. Then she does something else and I get mad and do something stupid like puke on her at dinner, and it just makes things worse."

I sighed and continued. "The worst part is that you can only have someone keep telling you aren't good enough before you start to believe it."

"Bella, no," Alice said, but I continued.

"I'm not saying Edward doesn't love me, or that we shouldn't be together. But, I can't help but wonder if his life would have been easier if we never would have gotten back together. He would have married Tanya, Esme would have been happy, and his relationship with his mother wouldn't be hanging by a thread."

"If Edward's relationship with his mother is in jeopardy then it is no one's fault but her own. You have done nothing but try to make Edward happy, and if she can't see how much the two of you love each other then she is a fucking moron." Alice sat up and looked at me. "I mean it Bella. None of this is your fault."

I nodded in agreement, not really believing her, but not wanting to argue the point anymore. I did agree that Esme brought a lot of this on herself. She did some of the stupidest things that anyone would get mad at. But then there were times that I couldn't help but wonder if she was just trying to pull Edward and I further apart.

The bottom line was that Esme and I had to come to some kind of agreement. There was no way the two of us could continue on like this and it not affect Edward's relationship with either one of us. Eventually we would have children and what would we do then? I couldn't refuse to let Esme and Carlisle see their grandchildren, but at the same time I wouldn't trust Esme to be alone with my child.

One of us was going to have to back down. It wasn't normal, and it sure as hell wasn't healthy. But, it was the only way this was going to work. One of my options was to let Esme walk all over me and talk to me like I wasn't worth a thing. I would have to let her nose her way into our business – let her pass judgment on choices I made, and when she voiced her opinion say absolutely nothing. Or, I could continue to fight until she either gave up or died.

"Edward was miserable while you weren't together," Alice said, breaking the silence again.

"I know."

Alice sat back up and looked at me. "If you give up and let her walk all over you, then you aren't the Bella that Edward fell in love with. You wouldn't be the best friend that I have had since second grade. You wouldn't be the woman that your mother raised. You wouldn't be yourself."

Again I nodded but didn't necessarily agree. Part of loving someone was putting their needs before your own. By fighting with Esme I wasn't putting Edward's needs before my own. I was basically making him choose between his mother and me. How could that possibly be fair?

We drifted back into a calm silence that eventually led to me falling asleep. I vaguely remembered the phone ringing, and Alice picking it up, but she spoke in hushed whispers to try and keep from waking me. I fell right back asleep.

When I felt the bed shift underneath me and a few seconds later felt cool fingertips brushing hair off my forehead, I slowly opened one eye and saw Edward sitting next to me on the edge of the bed, smiling down at me.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked in a hoarse voice that was thick with sleep.

"A few hours," he replied as his hand ran down the right side of my face and body until it reached my hip. "Alice and Jasper just left."

"Oh I didn't say goodbye." I slowly sat up rubbed my eyes. "We need to pay Jasper for the furniture."

"I took care of it." Edward's hand stayed on my hip, his thumb gently rubbing the small bit of skin that was showing between my shirt and jeans. "There is someone here that wants to see you."

My eyes widened as my mind immediately thought that he had drugged Esme and brought her here to apologize.

"It isn't my mother," he said. Edward laughed at my reaction but helped me off the bed.

"Who is it?" I whispered, not knowing if whoever was here to see me was within hearing range.

"My dad."

I looked back at Edward, wondering what the hell Carlisle would be doing here, but he only smiled and motioned for me to continue. So I did, and once I reached the living room I found Carlisle standing there next to my great grandfather's table.

I gasped and threw my hands over my mouth. When Edward and Jasper said they would take care of it, I didn't know they meant they would get my table back.

"How did you do this?" I smiled and lightly ran my hand over smooth surface of the wood.

"Jasper talked the saleswoman into giving us the guys address from his check. We drove over there, and after a rather lengthy discussion he agreed to let me buy it back from him," Edward explained as Carlisle watched me with a somewhat sad expression on his face.

"Bella, I just want you to know how sorry I am," Carlisle said. His voice was sad and very apologetic.

"Carlisle, it isn't your fault. We got the table back, and that's all I care about."

"No," he started again. "I owe you an apology and I have for quite some time. I just – I always thought that Esme would come around. I thought that maybe she was just having a hard time letting Edward grow up. But after tonight I can see that it is beyond that."

I nodded, accepting his apology. I didn't really know what to say though, so I just kept my mouth shut.

"I always felt that if I was more exuberant about you and Edward joining us for dinner, or even just stopping by that I would make up for my wife's attitude. I do love you Bella, like my own daughter. And I think that eventually Esme will come to see just how good you are for Edward, and how much you mean to him."

I wiped my eyes and nodded again as he held his arms open. I stepped between them and hugged him as he gently patted my back.

"I can't promise that things will never be perfect, but I do believe that they will get better." He smiled as he let me go and I honestly hoped that he was right.

We said our goodbyes, and after he left Edward sat down next to me on the hideous floral couch. He pulled me into his side, and I closed my eyes as I rested my cheek against his chest.

"You were planning something big tonight weren't you?" I asked as his fingertips trailed up and down my side.

"I was." He nodded and kissed the top of my head.

"What was it? It must have been good if you talked Jasper into lying for you," I said, leaning my head back and smiling up at him.

"Well, there is a suite at one of the nicest hotels in Seattle that is filled with roses and has champagne and chocolate covered strawberries waiting for us right now," he said, smiling and kissing the tip of my nose.

I frowned and said, "I'm sorry that your plans got ruined."

"Bella, I don't care about the hotel suite or the damn flowers. This is what I want right here – you and me alone together. The rest was just a bonus to try and get you to sleep with me."

I laughed as he pulled me onto his lap so that I was cradled in his arms looking up at him.

"There is something I need to say." His eyes darkened and I nodded, silently telling him to continue. "Alice told me about what the two of you talked about tonight."

I started to sit up, preparing for a lecture that I really didn't want, but he stopped me. "Bella, there are a lot of things that I love about you, but there are also a lot of things that I admire about you." He laced my fingers between his as he looked down at me. "I love the fact that I can be myself with you, that when I am with you I am home. I admire the fact that you are so giving to the people you care about. I love that you are fiercely protective of your family and friends. And I admire that you don't let people walk all over you.

"If we wouldn't have worked things out and gotten married, my life wouldn't be complete. The three months that we weren't together I was a shell of myself, and I know that being with you is right. I don't want you to wonder if my life would have been easier if I had married someone else, because I know that my life would have been incomplete with anyone but you."

I sat up and wrapped my arms around Edward's neck, pulling myself as close to him as I possibly could. Edward was completely right. Our lives wouldn't ever be perfect. Esme would always be crazy and I would always be considered second best in her eyes. But we loved each other, and that was worth more than anyone else's opinion of me, or our relationship.

"Want to go to sleep?" Edward asked in a hushed whisper as his hands gently ran up and down my back.

I leaned back away from him and shook my head. "I want to go to bed, but sleeping isn't on the agenda for a few more hours."

"Hours?" he asked with a laugh, and gently picked me up as he stood from the couch.

I tightened my legs around his waist and smiled. "Well I might let your rest for a few minutes in between."

He laughed as he carried me down the hallway back to our bedroom. For the first time in over a month, I actually felt excited about being in bed for an extended period of time.

**So here we go! Again, I am a thousand times sorry that this took so long for me to do!! I hope you all enjoyed it and I promise it won't be another three months before I update again. If you are just dying to see a picture of Jasper's sweet ride, check out the facebook group. It's called The Honeymoons Over.**

**Di… I would suck without you. Thank you for putting up with my lack of punctuation and run on sentences. But, mostly thank you for being a wonderful friend and Beta. **

**To my mom and Karin and all of her other friends who are reading this, I love y'all. I love the fact that you guys listened to me complain for an hour and just said "It's all for the book!"**

**As always I have to say that without my best friend Ally, and my husband my life would be boring. So I love you both.**


	12. Shitting Bricks and Oily Bohunk

**IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU READ THIS FIRST. I think some of you guys aren't reading the A/N that I post. Haha. So be sure you do because that is when I explain the timeline.**

**So, this is another flashback, in EPOV, during their break up. A reader was kind enough to tell me that I had posted that they were broken up for five months, and then I said three months in another chapter. They were broken up for five months… I just made a mistake.**

**If you don't get the title of this chapter, then you are way too young to remember how awesome the 80's were.  
**

**So go read already…. hah**

"What the fuck are you wearing?" I yelled over the loud thumping bass of the music coming from the house. Standing in front of me, wearing a grey tank top paired with red and white striped shorts that were so short that they should be illegal, stood Emmett. I tried not to concentrate on the fact that if he wasn't wearing supportive underwear, we might be seeing a hell of a lot more of Emmett than we needed to.

"Dude, I'm Richard Fucking Simmons!" Emmett yelled back at me, waving his huge hands to indicate his frizzy Jew-fro wig and horribly disgusting work-out scrunch-socks and shoes. "Who the hell are you supposed to be?"

Alice and her fucking theme parties were a definite pain in my ass. Tonight we were all gathered to celebrate Jasper's birthday, and what better way to celebrate than to have a fucking 80's throwback party where everyone had to dress up as an icon from that decade. At least the music would be decent.

"Maverick - _Top Gun_," I muttered as I watched people filing into the house wearing all sorts of jacked up shit. I'd lived through the 80's once, and really wasn't keen on going back, even for one night. My minimal attempt at a costume was probably obvious. I owned the aviator sunglasses, and I'd borrowed the brown leather jacket from Ben. Everything else came straight from my closet.

I watched with vague interest as Emmett welcomed people showing up for the party, and it must have been obvious that going into that house was the last thing I wanted to do.

"Stop being a pussy Edward." Emmett laughed before punching my shoulder. "Bella isn't here yet. You have to be a big boy and go inside."

"I'm not being a pussy. It's just awkward," I said while rubbing my arm.

"Well that's my sister fool, so you will get no sympathy from me," Emmett said while adjusting the white sweat band around his forehead. "Just have fun."

I groaned again when he slapped my shoulder and cat-called after a girl who was walking back inside. I could hear his lame ass pick up lines being shouted over Billy Idol, and realized I couldn't just stand outside all night.

For five months Bella and I had been skating around the edge of this obviously awkward friendship. We were continually being thrown together into these social functions that our friends threw, and while we had both agreed to try and stay friends, we also knew it just didn't work that way.

Taking a deep breath, I made my way into the crowded house. Alice, being Alice, had gone all out and made the place look like an exact replica of a typical 1985 high school prom. The neon pinks and greens were almost blinding, even with my sunglasses on.

I saw Jasper, who was sporting a fantastic hot pink Mohawk, wave me over. I slid between the groups of people, and after narrowly avoiding some guy doing the worm on Alice's living room floor, I finally made it to where Jasper stood.

"Nice hair," I called once I'd reached them. Jasper, looking the true punk rocker with his fucking torn up jeans and mesh tank top, nodded in approval.

"The shoes are actually mine," he drawled before flashing one of his cheesy ass smiles.

I looked down at his black and white checked Vans and could only shake my head. Jasper Whitlock could wear a fucking dog collar and make it look cool.

"Happy birthday," I called over the wailing of a guitar solo, and handed him a flat square that was wrapped in a brown paper bag. He took it while raising an eyebrow curiously. "It's Dylan's _Blonde on Blonde_ - mint."

I watched with satisfaction as Jasper carefully pulled the album out of the bag. Emmett and Ben were cool kids, and really good friends, but Jasper and I connected over music. He knew exactly what having an album like that meant, which made hunting it down and being able to give it to him even more worthwhile. Not only was it the last record Bob Dylan made before the accident that basically made him a recluse, it was one of the greatest double albums in music history.

"Where did you find this?" he asked while turning the album slowly over in his hands.

"When I was down in Portland," I answered. "I found it and knew it was yours…"

Before I could finish my sentence Jasper pulled me into a hug, but before I could pull away a bright flash left both of us blinking and shaking our heads.

"How adorable are you two?" Alice asked as she tucked her camera back into the belt of her Madonna virgin-esque costume. "Edward! I am so glad you could come!"

"You threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't come." I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and grunted when her elbow connected with my gut. "Glad to be here…."

She smiled, leaned up on her tip toes to kiss Jasper, and pulled him out onto the makeshift dance floor. In less than thirty seconds after watching the two of them being followed out onto the floor by Ben and Angela, I was so lonely it hurt.

I looked around the crowded house, not wanting to admit to myself who I was hoping to see. It wasn't that I was pining away for Bella, it was just that no one else _was _Bella. It never felt right.

"CULLEN!" I choked on the beer I had just taken a sip of as Mike Newton slapped my back a little too forcefully.

"Mike," I replied as I wiped front of the jacket before looking at him. "Who are you supposed to be exactly?"

He was wearing what I assumed to be red boxing shorts, a red bathrobe, and he'd thrown a pair of boxing gloves around his shoulders.

"I'm Rocky, yo!" He laughed before hitting his chest and screaming "ADRIAN!!"

_What a fucking retard._

"Mike, that version of Rocky is from the 70's. In the 80's, he wore yellow and became the Italian Stallion." I pushed my sunglasses up on my head and looked at him. "Did you honestly not know that?"

"Nah, I never saw the movies," he said with a shrug. "Doesn't matter really."

_Doesn't matter?_ _Rocky_ was only one of the greatest movie series of all time. I mean, how can you be a dude and not understand the importance of the fucking _Rocky_ franchise? How could you be a dude and not have seen any of the _Rocky_ movies?

I shook my head and looked back toward the couples that were dancing.

"So Bella huh?" he asked in an oddly optimistic manner.

"What about her?" I tried to keep my voice as level as possible, but my stomach clinched at the sound of her name.

"Just wondering how the whole friendship thing is going." Mike's voice was low and somewhat sarcastic.

I turned to look back at him, but saw that he was staring at something near the front door. I followed his gaze, and once I saw what he was looking at, I wanted to punch him in the throat. I swear to God if it wasn't for the fact that Mike was one of Ben's best friends, I would have kicked his ass a long time ago.

Bella was walking past a group of people standing near the front door. She stopped to say hello before continuing into the house. I felt the corner of my mouth turn up into a smile as I watched her.

She had her hair pulled into a ridiculous side ponytail and was wearing an off the shoulder grey sweatshirt. When she found Jasper and Alice, she immediately ran over to them. I watched as Jasper pulled her up into a hug, and couldn't help but laugh at the obnoxious pink leg warmers she was wearing.

Once Jasper set her down, Alice pulled her into a hug and I watched the two of them whisper to each other. Having known both of them as long as I had, I knew that when they whispered, it was never a good sign. I tipped the sunglasses back down onto the bridge of my nose, picked up my beer bottle, and headed for the back yard.

I lowered myself into one of the chairs Alice had arranged out on their back porch. I could still hear the loud music and the occasional boisterous laughter of someone standing close to the backdoor, but it was much quieter back here. I leaned my head back and stared up at the sky, loving how the cold December air was crisp and fresh.

It just shouldn't be this hard. I knew Bella; really _knew_ her. And she knew me; knew all of my faults and weird ass tendencies. She was my friend. We were friends. So why was this so much weirder than talking to Alice and Jasper? Or Emmett and Ben?

"Hey."

I jumped at the soft voice behind me and turned to find Bella shifting her weight nervously from foot to foot.

"Hey," I replied as I stood up. I hoped I'd seem calm and collected, but when the back of my leg pushed the chair against the brick porch it toppled backwards, making a god-awful clattering sound. She laughed, and I couldn't help but join her as I picked up the chair and sat it back up.

The two of us stood there looking at each other, and after a few awkward seconds she finally walked around me and took the seat across from mine. She had pulled her oversized sweatshirt over her knees that she hugged to her chest.

"How are you?" she asked as I sat back down.

I nodded, rolling the beer bottle between my palms. "I'm ok. You?"

"Ok." Bella nodded and bit her bottom lip nervously.

_Silence. Awkward fucking silence._

"So, _Flash Dance_?" I asked while watching her pull at the hem on her sweatshirt.

"What?" She looked up at me in utter confusion.

"Your costume. _Flash Dance_?" I nodded towards her and couldn't help but smile when she blushed.

"Oh. Yeah. I wanted to be Madonna, but Alice already had the costume." She smiled and shrugged, making the open neck fall further down her shoulder.

"Where did you find leg warmers?" I asked as I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees.

_I am such a tool. I'm asking her about leg warmers?_

"My mom still had them in a box of clothes in the attic. You know how she is about keeping random shit." She shrugged again and it automatically made me want to move closer to her. I didn't.

"Authentic." I nodded and leaned back in my chair while taking another drink.

"_Top Gun_?" she asked. "I'm surprised you didn't go for like Bon Jovi or Billy Idol." I watched her, completely transfixed as she pulled the neck of her sweatshirt back up her shoulder.

"Well, the birthday boy seems to have the whole 80's rocker thing covered," I said while watching her fingers trace patterns on the arm of her chair. "Besides, I don't have the hair to pull off a Mohawk like J does. And _Top Gun_ is a kick ass movie."

She nodded as I took another drink from my beer.

"Take me to bed or lose me forever," she blurted out, and for the second time that night I choked on my drink. As I coughed, she began muttering apologies and slapping my back.

Through the coughing up of beer and what very well might have been a piece of my esophagus, I wondered if she had really said what I thought she did. I mean I knew she didn't mean it like _that_… But still. She had said it. To me.

"I'm sorry. That was so inappropriate," she muttered before throwing her hands over her face and shaking her head.

"It's fine Bella, really. You just…surprised me," I said encouragingly as I slowly pulled her hands away from her face.

My heart stopped when I discovered the look of absolute heartache that covered every inch of her face.

"Bella…" I left my hand wrapped around hers as she looked up at me.

"I miss you. A lot." Her voice was a whisper that I barely heard.

I wanted to tell her I missed her too. I wanted to pull her against me and tell her that my life didn't make sense without her in it. I wanted to tell her how absolutely stupid I had been five months ago. But, then I remembered my reasoning five months ago. I couldn't promise Bella what she wanted. I couldn't just continue leading her on with no promise of marriage.

"Hey! Alice is about to jump out of the cake!" Emmett yelled at us from the back door, making both of us jump.

Bella kept looking at me, waiting for me to say something, and I wanted to. I really fucking wanted to. But I didn't.

I dropped her hand, and after nodding slowly, I walked back into the house with my shoulders hunched and my heart broken all over again. How many times was I going to end up hurting her?

I ignored the loud music and people dancing. I pushed past the several sets of hands that tried to grab me, and before I knew what I was doing, I'd made my way upstairs into Jasper's office. I shut the door behind me, blocking out everything that was downstairs - including Bella.

I sat at the keyboard that Jasper had against one wall and slowly ran my fingers over the keys, but nothing came to my mind. The notes and melodies that normally filled my brain anytime I got near a musical instrument were missing. The only thought in my head was of her.

I was hurting her, which was something I hadn't ever wanted to do. I'd thought I was doing the right thing by leaving when I couldn't promise her what she wanted, but my choice was exactly what was hurting her.

I could hear Emmett's voice carry up the stairs, gathering people together to sing happy birthday. I pulled my sunglasses off, and after hooking one of the ear pieces on the front of my shirt, I rand my hands roughly over my face.

I had to go back downstairs. As much as I hated seeing Bella like this, I couldn't be rude.

I pushed away from the keyboard and slowly walked down the stairs. On the last step, I stopped and watched as Emmett pushed a huge cake into the middle of the living room. You could tell that the cake was paper, but Jasper didn't look any less excited as he crossed his arms and winked at me once he caught my eye.

"Boys and girls!" Bella called through the crowd, and my head snapped in her direction as I saw her walk slowly toward Jasper. She smiled uneasily as she reached him. Jasper frowned as he looked down at her, obviously able to tell that she was visibly upset, and then looked back at me. I only shook my head as Emmett helped Bella stand on a chair next to Jasper.

I watched as Bella led everyone in a chorus of the birthday song, and I clapped when Alice unsurprisingly jumped out of the cake, earning a rather lengthy round of applause. But nothing could really hold my attention. I watched Bella dancing with Alice to a mix of Madonna songs, and I could see past the fake smile she had on her face.

I saw the sadness that only the few people who really knew Bella would be able to recognize; how one of her lips seemed to almost be tucked into her mouth. Her eyes seemed to be downcast. And the faint blush that normally colored her cheeks was gone.

I spent the next hour watching as she moved around the room, pretending to be enjoying the party for the sake of her friends. I also watched as she continued to drink, and I couldn't help but get more and more concerned about it.

I was sitting on the last step, watching as Bella laughed loudly with Mike Newton when Jasper joined me. "What happened?" he asked as he moved to sit on the step behind me.

"No matter how good my intentions start out being, I always end up just making it worse for her," I said as I looked down at the empty beer bottle I'd been carrying around.

"Do you still love her?" He leaned down, resting his elbows on his knees and followed my eyes to Bella.

"I don't think I'll ever stop," I answered. It was that easy.

Jasper nodded and patted my back before standing up and stepping back down into the living room. "Then that's your answer," he said simply before smiling and moving back into the crowds of people.

I sat there, staring at the bottle in my hands and considering what Jasper had said. I needed to talk to Bella - alone. Actually, I probably needed to get Bella home and then figure out how to talk to her once she was sober.

I stood up, saw that Bella was still humoring Mike, and moved back into the throng of people to find Alice and Jasper and tell them goodbye. Alice, obviously knowing I had upset Bella had simply told me, "Fix it, or I will high five your face."

Jasper was a little more encouraging, and after telling Emmett and Ben goodbye, I made my way back to where Bella and had been standing with Mike. Only when I got there, they were both gone.

I looked over the tops of people's heads and caught a glimpse of Bella as she walked through the front door with Mike-Fucking-Newton.

I pushed my way past the last few groups of people standing between myself and the doorway, but by the time I had actually made it outside Mike was already getting in his car and driving away from Alice and Jasper's house.

I stood there letting the sight of Bella, with Mike's arm wrapped around her shoulders flow through my mind. The longer I stood there, the more pissed off I got.

I was beyond mad.

I was mad at myself, and I was mad at Bella. But I was fucking pissed as hell at Mike.

How could she fucking do that? How could she tell me she misses me and then leave with the first guy to come along and offer a shoulder to cry on?

_Because I'm fucking always running away from her and because I stood there like a complete asshole and didn't tell her that I missed her too, that's fucking how._

Somehow I made it back to my apartment; I didn't remember driving or actually walking into the building. I just remembered being so irrationally mad that my vision was literally tinted with red.

I pulled every kitchen cabinet open; searching for the bottle of scotch I knew was still in there. I had been hiding it from Emmett; saving it for a special occasion. Well, this was pretty fucking special.

Any ideas that I had about Bella and I being able to get back together were gone. If she was able to just go home with someone like Mike Newton, then there was no way I could ever be with her again.

I fell back on the couch, opened the bottle, and without even bothering to get a glass I began drinking. I let the liquor burn my throat, letting it add fuel to the anger and resentment that was building in my chest.

When my cell phone started ringing, I pulled it out of my pocket and without even looking at the screen I turned it off and threw it onto the coffee table.

I closed my eyes, debating on if I should just beat the shit out of Mike or just have Emmett beat the shit out of me. When my house phone started ringing, I slammed the bottle down onto the coffee table and grabbed the phone.

"What?" I growled when I answered.

"Edward?"

I blinked in surprise as Tanya's voice registered in my mind.

"Tanya?" I looked around the apartment, wondering what the fuck she could want.

"Yeah silly it's me. How are you?" she asked.

Her sweet, fake voice annoyed the hell out of me. She was the exact opposite of Bella.

That thought registered in my head, and suddenly all the anger I had been feeling finally had an outlet.

"I'm…" I thought for a split second and decided that I didn't want to think anymore. "I'm drunk."

"Well, drinking by yourself is a bad sign. You ok?" she asked in her sugary fake voice again.

"Well if you called me to lecture me on the dangers of alcoholism, I don't need it." I fell back onto the couch and stared at the ceiling.

"Actually, I called because I am going to have to be in Seattle for some business, and I was wondering if you would mind if I stayed with you. You know I hate staying at hotels for extended periods of time." I could hear how hopelessly optimistic she seemed to be. It was no doubt fueled by my mother.

"When?" I asked.

"I fly out tomorrow. I know its short notice." I could tell from her voice that she was smiling.

I didn't want to think anymore. I was done thinking. It hadn't done anything but fuck shit up for me anyway.

"Yeah. Yeah you can stay here." I stood up and walked to the balcony that looked out over the bay and pretended to listen as Tanya explained what time she would be here.

"Ok, well we can do dinner tomorrow night or something!" she said eagerly.

"Sure. See you tomorrow," I replied dully.

"Bye Edward!" she called.

I shut the phone off and continued to stare out the window, watching the lights flicker on the water.

"No more thinking…"

**NOW BEFORE YOU ALL COME HUNT ME DOWN… I promise it will all make sense in the end. This will probably be the last flash back until we get to what the hell happened during the BIG fight.**

**I might be posting some outtakes from this story, so be sure to add my Author alerts so that you guys will know when they are posted. These will probably include their first date, some wedding shit, and maybe some Alice and Esme fighting.**

**June 9th will be my second wedding anniversary so happy anniversary to the hubs.**

**As always, thanks to Di for being one of my new fav things and my first Twilight friend. Thanks to Mels, Kim, Ang, Beezy, and Vic. Thanks to my fabulous Mommy and my loser of a best friend Ally. And, this is for TFTM. You know who you are.**


	13. User Error

**Ok it seems that because I deleted an author's note that you can't review the chapter, so to make up for pissing you all off with the cliff hanger here is a tidbit from the next chapter that is almost finished. Where, yes, there will be sex.**

**Enjoy!**

**(this was not checked by my Beta *who will kill me for posting this* so pardon any grammatical errors.)**

How I had been talked into going to fucking therapy with Esme is something I will never understand. I am pretty sure I must have been drunk or medicated when they mentioned it. But here I sat trying as hard as I could not to throw up all over this lady's nice leather couch in her waiting room.

I was nervous, and to try and contain my nervousness I began fidgeting. I started by bouncing my knee up and down, which lasted about five minutes before Edward put his hand on my knee to stop me. Then I started drumming my fingers against the arm of the couch. I was probably on my fifth round of the William Tell Overture when Edward's hand curled around mine.

"Bella calm down." Edward whispered as he leaned down and kissed the side of my head.

Calm down? Seriously? I rolled my eyes as how very casual and normal he was acting. This was not normal, NOTHING about this was normal.

**TADA!!! Update this weekend probably...**


	14. Family Therapy

**Enjoy! A/N at the bottom**

**PS, mom there is sex in this chapter. haha**

Exactly _how_ I had been talked into going to fucking therapy with Esme was something I would never understand. I was pretty sure I must have either been drunk or medicated when they suggested it and I'd agreed, but here I sat, trying as hard as I could not to throw up all over this nice leather couch in the cold, sterile waiting room.

I was nervous, and I began fidgeting to try and contain my nerves. My knee began bouncing up and down, which lasted about five minutes before Edward placed his steady hand there to stop me. Then I started drumming my fingers against the arm of the couch. I was probably on my fifth round of the _William Tell Overture_ when Edward's hand curled around mine.

"Bella calm down," Edward whispered as he leaned down and kissed the side of my head.

_Calm down? Seriously?_

I rolled my eyes as how very casual and normal he was acting. This was not normal. _Nothing_ about this was normal.

"Your parents are late," I said while I began digging through my purse for a piece of gum.

Edward watched me as I began pulling out random items, still searching for that one piece of gum I had been sure was in there somewhere. When I handed him a bottle of water and an apple, he stopped me.

"They aren't late; they're in the other waiting room." He pulled my purse out of my hands, and after throwing the tons of crap I had emptied back into it, he put it on the chair beside him. "Bella, if you don't calm down I am going to ask them to sedate you. I promise you it will be fine."

My mind briefly wondered if sedation would really be that bad, but then I remembered New Years Eve and decided against it.

"What do you mean they are in the other waiting room?" I asked louder than I meant to. The few other couples sitting in the waiting area jerked their heads up in response to my raised voice. I ignored them and waited for Edward to answer me.

"When they have two parties that are having conflicts they separate them into two waiting areas. One of us will go in and talk to the doctor first, and then the other. Then she will call us all in there," Edward said, returning our conversation to a hushed whisper.

Well that made me feel a little better. At least I would get a chance to give my side of the story without Esme being there to make me feel guilty. But that also meant I wouldn't be there to hear what she said about me.

"Edward and Bella?" a calming voice asked. The door to the left of us opened, and an older woman smiled while looking around the waiting area.

Edward stood, and after handing me my purse back, he helped me stand up. I walked nervously towards the open door; I was scared Esme and Carlisle would be sitting in there. _What if I wasn't given a chance to explain myself?_

I felt Edward's hand on the small of my back and took a deep breath before walking through the door. Thankfully the office was empty. As Edward introduced himself to the doctor, I took a look around. Pretty standard I would guess, although I had never been to therapy. There was a desk by a set of windows, two leather couches facing each other, and a chair sat between them at the end. My eyes found a set of foam bats sitting on a shelf by the desk, and I had to admit that made my outlook a little brighter. If I got to beat the shit out of Esme with a foam bat, it might all be worth it.

"And you are Bella I presume?" the doctor asked kindly as she shook my hand. I could only nod, afraid that if I opened my mouth I might just throw up on her. Fortunately, she must have been accustomed to meeting with socially awkward people, because she simply continued. "I am Alana Carmen. It's very nice to meet you. Please have a seat."

She waved her arm toward the empty couches, and after giving Edward a nervous look, he took my hand and led me to the couch facing the door on the opposite side of the room. The door that Esme and Carlisle would no doubt be coming through opened directly in front of us.

"Well Bella, Edward," she said, nodding toward each of us respectively. "I just want to start off by saying that I think the fact that the four of you are willing to at least attempt family therapy is the first step in the right direction." She again gave me a kind smile before she started flipping through a file that was sitting in her lap. My eyes narrowed at the yellow tablet she had already started writing on. _Had she already talked to Carlisle and Esme? _

Edward must have noticed the tablet too, because he calmly wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. I relaxed – slightly.

We talked through the basics; how old we were, how we met, how long we had dated, and what our engagement was like. She asked us about our marriage, and what goals we shared. All of it was pretty normal, until she brought up our sex life.

I was mortified when she asked Edward to rate our sex life on a scale of one to ten and he just blurted out "Nine." _Would taking a few seconds to contemplate the question really be that difficult?_

It all got messy when she asked me what I felt the biggest concerns with our family was. I could boil it down to one word – Esme. Once I started talking, it was like I couldn't shut up. Esme-induced word vomit flowed freely from my mouth for more than thirty minutes. Edward sat calmly next to me, occasionally rubbing my back and shoulders while I complained about how fucking insane his mother was.

Dr. Carmen filled at least three pages of her yellow tablet. When I was finished, she only nodded before looking at Edward. "And how do you feel about this Edward?" the doctor asked politely.

Edward slowly pulled his arm from around my shoulder, and after resting his elbows on his knees, he let out a long sigh. This immediately made my heart sink. I knew he was caught in the middle of this shit storm, torn between not wanting to upset me _or_ lose the relationship he had with his mother.

"Basically, I just want this to be fixed. I want my mother and my wife to be able to be in the same room with each other without the tension being so thick you could choke on it," Edward said plainly.

"Well then I think that all four of you will benefit from therapy. Your father and mother have expressed the same wishes, and I see no reason as to why we shouldn't be able to make some really good progress here." Dr. Carmen closed the file she had sitting on her lap and gave us both a genuine smile.

As much I would have loved to believe her, I just didn't see how sitting around discussing our feelings was going to help anything. Unless she believed in heavily medicating her patients, I didn't see how this was going to work.

When she stood up, my heart rate increased to the point that I could hear my blood pounding in my ears. My stomach rolled, and I gripped Edward's arm so hard that he jumped and tried to pry my hand off of him.

"Calm down, Bella. I am right here," he whispered as I watched the doctor walk over to the door.

Did he not understand that Satan herself was going to be coming through that door in a matter of moments? Not only that, but she was basically going to have free reign over all of the insults and rude-ass comments she could throw at me, all under the disguise of being honest.

Esme walked through the door, and as soon as I heard her sniffling I looked down at the floor. I didn't want to see her. I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't want to fucking be here!

I continued following the pattern in the rug on the floor as I heard Carlisle offer a brief hello to Edward and me, but I point-blank refused to look at either one of them. Some may say my behavior was childish; I say it's self-preservation.

The five of us sat there in the most awkward silence ever. I could feel my stomach begin to roll, so I concentrated on breathing while Edward's hand traced patterns up and down my back.

"Well I guess I will begin," Dr. Carmen continued bravely, and I heard her flipping to yet another page in her tablet. By the time she was finished, she would probably have a fucking book. "I have talked to all four of you and I think I have a pretty good idea of what the main problems are. The good news is that we all seem to be on the same page as far as wanting to fix the problem. It would seem to me that what we have is a lack of communication."

I felt my eyes narrow in disagreement, but continued to look at the floor. "Bella, if you have an issue with your mother in law do you talk to her about it, or do you rely on Edward to handle it?" Dr. Carmen asked in her sweet voice.

I immediately got pissed off for being called out first. My back tightened, and I resisted the urge to cross my arms across my chest like a child. "I guess you could say I rely on Edward," I mumbled while still looking down at the floor.

I saw Esme move in my peripheral vision and when I looked up, I saw her nod smugly to the therapist. Dr. Carmen opened her mouth to respond, but I cut across her. "But that is because any time I try to have a conversation with her it turns into her insulting me!" I leaned back against the couch, glaring at Esme.

If she thought I was just going to lay back and take this up the tailpipe, then she was dead fucking wrong.

"You see!" Esme moved to the edge of the couch she was sharing with Carlisle and waved her boney hand in my direction. "Nothing but disrespect is all I ever get from her."

My mouth flew open as she continued throwing lame allegations in my direction. "She never lets me finish what I have to say; she always just assumes that I am judging her! If she would just shut her mouth long enough to let me finish a sentence…" Esme continued as she wiped fake tears away from her eyes.

"Mom," Edward warned.

"I am pretty sure that when you tell me, 'I think you are only with my son for his money,' that it can only be taken one way, Esme!" I yelled at her.

"Esme, please tell me you didn't say that." Carlisle looked shocked, which made me feel marginally better.

I felt Edward throw his head back onto the couch and shake it back and forth slowly.

"Well Carlisle, I am only looking out for our son," Esme said as she smoothed out the legs of her pants.

"Oh yes, because Bella seems the type to be conning people mom," Edward retorted, keeping his head against the back of the couch.

"All I am saying is that you have changed Edward, and none of those changes happened until you started dating Bella!" Esme again waved her hand toward me.

I started to say something, but Edward stopped me. "And it never occurred to you that it might not be Bella? It might be that I, oh I don't know, went to college? Moved out on my own… Grew up? Why do you assume it is her fault?" Edward asked, finally looking at his mother.

I was pleasantly shocked that Edward had said that. I mean, granted it wasn't much, but for him it was enough.

Esme glanced at Edward before looking back at Carlisle. Both of them were staring at her, waiting for an answer.

After several uncomfortable moments Dr. Carmen cleared her throat and the four of us looked back at her. "Esme, do you know what any of Bella's hobbies or interests are?" the doctor asked her, while the rest of blinked slowly and looked back at Esme.

"I… well…" Esme sputtered, obviously uncomfortable being pushed into the spotlight.

"What about you Bella? Do you know what any of Esme's interests are?" Dr. Carmen asked me. I blushed when I felt four sets of eyes staring at me, and shook my head slowly in response.

"I think that one of the biggest problems the four of you are facing is that Bella and Esme, the two of you really don't know each other." Dr. Carmen laced her hands together and smiled while looking back and forth between the two of us. "I think the two of you need to spend some time together, just the two of you."

_Just. The. Two . Of. You._

_Great._

A week later, I was digging through my closet trying to find something 'Junior League' appropriate, while Alice was lying on the bed making fun of my ass.

"What are they going to make you do, color coordinate fabric swatches?" she asked with a smirk as her feet dangled off of the side of the bed.

"Do I look like I would know what the fuck someone would do at a Junior League meeting?" I asked, pulling a sweater out from the closet.

I held it up for her opinion. She shook her head and ignored my groan when I went back into the closet.

"So Esme is making you attend a Junior League meeting for her activity. What form of torture will you be putting her through?" Alice asked as Edward came sauntering into the room with his hands in his pockets. He flopped on the bed next to Alice with an amused expression on his face.

I glared at both of them when I held up yet another outfit and both of them gave it a thumbs down. "I dunno, I'm boring," I mumbled as I leaned my head against the door frame of the closet.

"Just make something up. Tell her you read to the blind in your spare time and make her feel super guilty. That's what I would do," Alice said after hopping off the bed and pushing me aside to go into my closet.

"Oh, that's an excellent idea, because lying for a guilt trip is what therapy is all about," Edward said sarcastically.

I joined Edward on the bed, and after curling up against his side I decided it didn't matter. Esme was Esme, and she would hate me even if I told her I fed the homeless, read to the blind, and fed puppies at the animal shelter.

"What do they do at these things anyway?" I asked after leaning my head back on his arm and looking up at him.

"I dunno. The last time I went to one, I had to help move tables so they could papier-mâché or paint. They are always doing some crafty Martha Stewart bullshit," he said.

"Great, an afternoon of crafts with your mom." I planted a sarcastic smile on my face.

In the end, I decided to just wear what I would normally wear. The whole point of this 'spending time together' bullshit was so that we would learn to like each other for who we actually were. So three hours later, I was nervously making my way into one of the meeting rooms at the Harbor Club of Seattle.

I had been here once before, when Esme was trying to convince me that getting married at 'the club' would be more elegant and proper than getting married back in Forks. It reminded me of a museum, and was far from what I had envisioned for our wedding.

Trying to ignore the squeaking that my shoe was making against the tile floor, I walked as fast as I could while still being in a walking boot.

"Excuse me, but the service entrance is around back," a bulky security officer said as he stopped me.

_Well that just makes you feel all warm and welcomed doesn't it? _ Did I look I belonged in the service entrance? Was I carrying a tray or box? No. I was just fucking walking.

"I'm not an employee," I said curtly. "I'm meeting my mother-in-law here for the Junior League meeting."

He let his eyes travel up and down my body before finally looking me in the eye. "You'll have to wait up at the front desk and be escorted back to the room." He nodded back down the hallway I had been coming down.

I laughed, thinking he must have been joking. But when he just continued to look at me, I rolled my eyes and walked back towards the front desk. This was absolutely outrageous. What the hell did he think I was going to do, go steal the paintings off the walls? Steal a vase and shove it down my pants?

I irritably sat in the chairs next to the front desk and watched as he quietly talked into the phone while keeping an eye on me. This guy was smart – a chick with a broken leg was sure to make a quick getaway.

I sent a quick text to Alice, telling her security had already stopped me for suspected illegal activity. She told me that I didn't belong in places like that, and that my white trash ass should come back to the trailer park. This led to a case of the giggles, which I was still having when Esme made her way to the front desk to escort me back to the meeting.

"Are you okay?" she asked in a very non-caring type of voice.

I wiped my eyes, which had started to water while I was laughing, and nodded. When I stood up I couldn't help but notice that Esme didn't look very pleased as she considered my appearance.

"Glad to see you could dress appropriately Bella." She turned around and walked away without giving me a second glance.

_Well, excuse me, but I didn't know there was a dress code for being a bitch while painting a fucking flower pot!_

I followed behind her, wondering what the hell was wrong with what I was wearing. Black pants and a fitted long sleeve shirt seemed pretty harmless to me, so I figured she must have had a problem with my lone shoe. However, if she thought I would be wearing heels or some other sort of nonsense shoe while still in a walking boot, she was insane. My lone Chuck Taylor would just have to be overlooked.

When we reached the meeting room, I prepared myself for the worst. I had met a few of these women at my wedding shower, and a few had even come to the wedding. Those women seemed okay enough. However, if they seemed to like Esme and thought she was Mrs. Leave-it-to-Beaver, then they had to be fucked in the head somehow.

I was passed from person to person, and introduced simply as Edward's wife, never Bella. I shook hands and kept my mouth shut, hoping that that these people didn't really expect me to participate in whatever functions they were holding today.

Eventually we all settled into our seats, and lucky me, I sat between Esme and Tanya's mother. _I must have really pissed someone off in a previous life._

I tried to act like I was actually paying attention as they discussed trivial issues like what the theme should be for this year's charity gala, and what the color the new stationary should be.

Eventually, somewhere between the arguments if sage or kelly green would be a more appropriate color, I let my mind wander. I glanced around the room, and found it filled to the brim with women who honestly thought that by paying an ass load of money to be a member of this elitist society they were making a difference in the community.

I was sure that at certain points through the year, their organization did in fact make contributions to certain charities, but I highly doubted that any of these women had ever seen what poverty actually looked like. But, they felt better that twice a month they would meet and have a meal that cost more than Edward and I spent on groceries in a month, and discussed how they were going to help their community.

"So, we would like to announce that the membership committee has decided on the new members we will be accepting this year," a woman with a gavel said in a sing-song voice.

The applause that followed made me look around as excited whispers broke out amidst the crowd. I wondered if this would be like a sorority where they could torture you all in the guise of making you feel more like a family. Come to think of it, maybe _that_ was why Esme was so hateful towards me; she was making me pledge to be in her family.

I smiled at the thought, but when I heard my name announced I blinked in surprise. "Mrs. Cullen, would you please come up to the front?" the same woman said in the same sing-song voice. I blinked again, looking at Esme who only smiled smugly and continued clapping.

I slowly got to my feet and made my way up to the front, all the while wondering what the hell was going on. Certainly someone would have told me about this before now. Wouldn't I have to sign some sort of application? If Edward knew about this and didn't tell me, I would kill him. Worse than that, I would probably junk-punch him and _then_ kill him.

When I reached the front of the room, I was pulled up to the podium. I tried not to think about the hundreds of faces that were staring up at me.

"Ladies, this is Mrs. Edward Cullen…"

"My name is Bella," I interrupted without thinking; it had become habit from years of people calling me Isabella.

She looked at me for a second before continuing. I listened to her give a whole rundown of my life, although the only things she included had to do with Edward. "And she was nominated for membership by her mother-in-law, Mrs. Carlisle Cullen," she continued.

Again, an excited applause broke out, and when I looked down at Esme, she nodded in appreciation. I wasn't sure what the hell Esme was playing at, but I was sure as hell that it wasn't for my benefit.

"Our second member to be accepted into membership is Tanya McBride," the announcer continued. I felt my face flush with color, and I was sure my eyes became as big as saucers.

I was momentarily relieved that at least Tanya wasn't there, but as my heart rate started to return to normal, I heard someone calling from the back of the room. Just like in the freaking movies, Tanya came running from the back of the room with her hair perfectly windblown, clothes impeccable, and not at all out of breath.

_Damn her._

"I am so sorry I am late; my flight was delayed," she said in a hurried apology as she stopped to kiss her mother and Esme on the cheek before continuing up to the podium. She gave me a brief hug, and I responded by patting her back pathetically.

As Tanya's life story was being given, with far more enthusiasm than mine had been, I watched Esme. She seemed pleased with herself – almost smug.

There had to be some reason why she would find joy in the fact that I was now going to be spending more time with her at these fucking meetings. She may have thought I would just walk away and decline the membership they had offered me, but that would only make me look like ungrateful bitch.

I blinked in understanding as Tanya smiled annoyingly and her accolades continued to be announced. Esme _wanted_ me to walk away. She wanted me to decline membership, making it seem like I was refusing to be a part of anything related to 'her world.' I was sure that the fact that Tanya was also being inducted as a member on the same damn day was not a coincidence. It was a well played scheme. Esme figured that Tanya intimidated me, and that's where she went wrong.

Of course Tanya was beautiful, and yeah, she had known Edward longer than I had, but she wasn't the one that Edward married. I was Mrs. Edward Cullen, and Tanya was still Miss Tanya McBride.

So I listened with fake interest as the meeting wore on. I listened to all the bullshit that I would have to participate in, and I plotted the entire time. If Esme thought I would run away, she was mistaken. I would accept this membership, hate every second of it, but be the best fucking Junior Leaguer that there was. I joined committees, volunteered to help with activities, and signed Edward and I up to host a cocktail party. At least drinking was allowed, if not encouraged at these functions.

When I left, no doubt with Esme pissed off by the fact that I was taking to this life as a elitist with a great faked enthusiasm, I was loaded down with notebooks full of rules and guidelines. I also had applications for memberships to the Harbor club, and the Seattle Women's society. I had no idea what a women's society did, but I figured since I had a vagina and boobs, I would fit right in.

"So you've gone to the dark side?" Alice asked as I stumbled into the house, my arms full of notebooks and papers while trying to balance my cell phone between my shoulder and ear. "You've become a snobbish cupcake?"

"No, I am infiltrating the enemy from the _inside_," I said as I threw all of the crap in my arms onto the couch.

"You do realize you actually have to go through with this shit," she said.

"Alice, I am not going to become like Esme. You know me better than that. Besides, you can ask Jasper to make a donation and then you guys can be invited to all the parties too. Then we can sit in the corner and make fun of all the yuppies while drinking their liquor." I smiled as she groaned.

"So it would be like high school, except that this time we are above the legal drinking age?" she asked sarcastically.

"Oh come on Alice, you get to wear a pretty dress and help save the Sea Lions all at once," I persuaded her.

She sighed but eventually gave in. "I'll bring you a check tomorrow," she agreed. "But I want the good liquor, none of that cheap shit."

After finally agreeing that Alice could in fact have her choice of Gin we hung up.

"Edward?" I called out, but no one answered.

After pulling my jacket off, I stood up from the couch and picked up the application for the women's society. I flipped through the different sections I would be required to fill out as I walked back through the house towards our bedroom.

Why the hell they would need to know what my great-great-grandfather did for a living was beyond me. As I continued reading, I realized that if my last name was not Cullen, there was no way in hell these people would accept me.

I kicked off my shoe and crawled onto the bed, still glancing over the bullshit they wanted to know about the two of us. I was contemplating simply writing, "My husband is Edward Cullen," at the top of the application when I heard a soft knock on the door of our bedroom.

I looked over the top of the paper, not really expecting to see anything spectacular. But, when my eyes focused on what was standing there, I dropped the application and sat straight up.

Edward was wearing a pair of blue scrub pants that were slung low on his hips, the drawstrings hardly tied. A white lab coat hung open, revealing the contours and wonderful definitions of his chest and stomach. A stethoscope was draped around his neck.

"Edward?" I sputtered as he walked slowly towards me flipping between papers attached to a clipboard.

"I prefer to be addressed as Dr. Cullen," he corrected me as he sat on the edge of the bed. He dropped the clipboard on his lap and asked, "And, how are you feeling today Mrs. Cullen?"

I blinked several times, thinking that surely I was dreaming this up.

He looked at me expectantly, the corner of his mouth twitching as he fought back a smile. "Um, I'm… good?" I cleared my throat and continued to let my eyes roam over his chest and stomach.

"_Good?_" he asked with mild amusement.

"Am I supposed to say I've been bad?" I asked dumbly.

He laughed, shaking his head, but ultimately ignoring how silly I was being. He got up, walked around to the foot of the bed, and slowly began undoing the Velcro straps of the walking boot that was wrapped around my foot.

I watched as he gently removed it and let it fall to the floor. His hands slowly traced the shape of my foot, and although it didn't hurt, I jumped as his fingers traced over my ankle.

"Does that hurt?" he asked me in a low voice.

I shook my head no, and smiled when he leaned down and kissed the top of my foot gently before crawling up the bed and hovering over me.

"You aren't much for the role playing are you?" he whispered before his lips softly brushed against mine.

"Hmm." I smiled and pushed my hips up against his, satisfied when a low moan escaped his lips. "I wouldn't say that I am not up for it, I just prefer to get to the good stuff."

"I can do that," he whispered against my neck.

My eyes closed, and I bit my lip in anticipation as his lips made their way down my neck and across my shoulder. Goosebumps erupted along my arms as he continued down my chest, toward my stomach. His hands slipped under my shirt, pushing it up as his lips left soft kisses along my ribs and down to my belly button.

I pulled the shirt up over my head and threw it across the room before pushing the lab coat Edward was wearing down his shoulders. He sat up, pulling it the rest of the way off. As soon as it joined my shirt on the floor, I pushed him back onto the bed so that I was lying over him.

"Nuh–uh, Bella." He rolled us over, pinning me against the bed.

I opened my mouth to argue, but the second that his lips reached mine I decided just to let him have his way.

My eyes slipped closed as his hands gently cupped my breasts through my bra, and I let out a soft moan. Edward's lips traced my jaw line as he whispered, "I love you," over and over. I bit my bottom lip as his thumb circled slowly around my nipple.

My fingers threaded themselves into the back of his hair, pulling him closer to me as his lips moved from my jaw to the skin just under my ear. Instinctively, my hips pushed themselves up against him. Edward's hand slid down my body, pulling me against him. I wrapped my good leg around his waist pulling him even closer, craving the friction that we were creating.

"Bella," Edward begged as his head rested against my shoulder blade. His low, husky voice made my heart pound in my chest and my stomach flutter. I pulled his head back, looking up into his eyes as his fingers traced slow circles against my hip.

"I love…" he started, but I cut him off and pulled his face toward me, attacking his lips. He responded passionately as he pushed me into the soft mattress. I bit his bottom lip gently as my fingers spread against the taut muscles of his back.

It was as though my mind shut off completely; my body was focused only on the way he made me feel. I loved the way my stomach would flutter and tighten when his hand ran over my skin; the way I would shiver when his tongue ran down my neck. I wanted, no, I needed more of him.

"We have on way too many clothes," Edward said in a breathless voice. He looked down at me with that perfectly sexy crooked smile, and I couldn't help but smile at his appearance, with his hair sticking up wildly and his cheeks flushed red.

He released my leg and held his weight off of me as he unbuttoned my pants. His hands hurriedly pushed them past my hips, while trying to be careful of my hurt leg. I was practically panting as his lips slowly traveled down my neck and began kissing my breast through my bra.

I felt every muscle in my body tighten as his hand slipped under my panties, but when his fingers slowly began circling my clit I relaxed. I bit my lip, moving my hips to match his rhythm.

My grip tightened on his shoulders as Edward gently nipped at my hardened nipples. My head rolled from side to side as his motions became quicker. Each circle brought him over the one spot that made me clinch every muscle in my body.

"Harder," I begged shamelessly.

His fingers gently pushed against me as the circles became quicker. My toes began to curl as my stomach tightened. I moaned loudly as the familiar and heavenly sensation spread from the tip of my toes to the top of my head.

"Bella," Edward whispered as he took my earlobe in between is lips. I nodded against him, not able to form a coherent sentence, let alone form words. My entire body trembled as he pulled me tightly against him while his fingers slowed but didn't stop.

Edward's fingers slowly trailed up my stomach as I opened my eyes. "You are so beautiful," he whispered before kissing me softly.

I smiled, trying to catch my breath as he pulled off the scrub bottoms he'd been wearing. "No boxers," I said as he revealed himself. "_Nice._" I couldn't help but laugh.

He crawled back over me, letting his fingers lazily trace over my skin and stopping to kiss my stomach and chest.

I loved this. I loved the feeling of having him this close to me with no barriers. Edward was the only person who knew me like this. He knew every curve of my body. He knew that when he would softly run his fingers up and down my arm or thigh that it drove me over the edge.

"Edward." He stopped kissing and looked up at me. "I want you," I said as I wrapped my leg around his waist, pulling him closer to me.

I bit my lip in anticipation as he settled himself over me, leaning his weight on one arm as his other hand pulled my hip closer to him.

I moaned loudly as he pushed himself deep inside of me, filling me completely. He stayed still, both of us panting as we adjusted to each other. When I pushed my hips up against him, he slowly began moving again.

He thrust at a slow pace at first, placing small kisses against my chest as my head leaned backwards.

"I love you," I moaned loudly as he began to move faster and the grip he had on my hip tightened.

He sat up on his knees between my legs and wrapped his hands around my hips, pulling me into him with each thrust. My back arched off the bed, and as I threw my arms back behind me, my hands fisted themselves among our pillows.

"Oh God…" I mumbled. I couldn't think straight; the only thing I could concentrate on was how amazing this felt, and how I wanted and needed to be closer to him in every way possible.

"What baby?" he asked in a low, sexy voice. His grip on my hips tightened, and I wrapped my legs around his body. "Tell me what you want Bella."

"More," I begged. It was the only thing I could say, and Edward knew exactly what I needed. He pulled me up and ran his hand along my back, until I was sitting on his lap.

I moaned loudly at the sensation the change in positions created, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He slipped one hand between us and slowly began massaging my clit.

"Is that what you wanted?" he teased as he pushed harder up into me.

I nodded my head as my fingers dug into his shoulders.

"Tell me Bella," he demanded as he sped up his movements and pressed against me with more pressure.

I moaned loudly, screaming that it was _exactly _what I wanted.

He quickened the pace of his thrusts, and with a deep groan he pushed into me. The movement of his fingers against me helped push me over the edge. We both shivered as Edward held me against his body.

As I began to relax, I laid my head down on his shoulder, and Edward let his hands gently glide up and down my back.

"And that is why I rate it a nine," he said with a small laugh. His silly comment led to both of us breaking out in a fit of laughter, and we fell back onto the bed.

Moments like these were why I loved Edward with my entire heart. Because at the end of the day, no matter how shitty it had been, he was the one who made me laugh and made it all worth it. The great sex was just a bonus.

**Number one, I hope you all enjoyed it. Number two, thanks to Di for putting up with me. And number three, I love you guys.**

**If you are a member of the facebook group I am probably going to delete it. My MIL is always looking at my facebook stuff and asking questions. However, if you have a Twitter I am on there as charlsad.**

**Someone sent me a DM asking if Edward and Bella were going to have kids, since your DM's are locked I couldn't respond back. The answer is not in this story. I am currently debating if a sequal would be a good plan or not. You guys let me know what you think about that.**

**I always also asked what my "Posting Schedule" is. The answer is that I don't have one. Sorry.**

**Hope you guys enjoyed it!!  
**

**Thanks as always!  
**


	15. Stains

**Here ya go kids!! Thanks to my Mels for being a fill-in Beta since our Diana is at Twicon. (Hope you have fun lady!!!) Sorry for the delay but I got all wrapped up in Harry Potter and the Ron Weasley goodness. Enjoy!!- C**

There are three things I hate in life: wet paper, being late, and Esme Cullen. People may think that hate is too strong of a word to use, but 'dislike' or 'didn't agree with' just doesn't sum it up for me. To hate someone or something you really have to put some effort into it, and I had devoted _plenty_ of time and effort to reserve the right to say, "I hate Esme Cullen."

Today was my day. It was my day for Esme to try and "understand" me. My personal belief was that if she hadn't taken time in the six years I had been with her son, then why the hell would she put in effort now? I was right.

We were supposed to meet forty-five minutes ago for coffee first before continuing to the bookstore I had wanted to go to. My iced latte was sweating and making the now wet napkin underneath it curl up in the most disgusting way, and I was fucking pissed off.

I picked up my cell phone, trying again to call Esme, and when it went to her voicemail **again** I just gave up. I pushed myself away from the table, dug through my purse until I found a few stray dollar bills, threw them onto the table (making sure to avoid the wet napkin nastiness) and left the coffee shop.

It really shouldn't have surprised me that she stood me up. She would no doubt call me back eventually with some lame-ass excuse and simply tell me that I needed to pick another day. And, being the fucking sap that I am, I would take the excuse and be pissed off, but reschedule for another day.

When I got home, I wasn't surprised to find the house empty. Edward, along with Jasper and Emmett, were all out playing golf and were probably one beer away from running a golf cart into the water trap. I tossed my keys onto the dining room table and decided that maybe Esme standing me up was really a blessing in disguise. Instead of being trapped with her all day, I could call Alice and think about getting the ball rolling on the damn Junior League party that I was hosting in less than four weeks.

_Why was I such a procrastinator? Better question, why did I even agree to do this shit in the first place? _

Thankfully, my best friend loved me and had mercifully agreed to help me plan. So I provided the booze, food and music, and she would provide the genius ideas and help me pretend to be a socialite cupcake.

"Are we sad and depressing for drinking at three in the afternoon?" I asked with a slight slur as I refilled our glasses.

Alice stopped writing long enough to give me a look that I called the 'Alice-doesn't-want-to-fucking-hear-it-so-stop-talking- because-you-are-ruining-my-buzz' look.

"Bella, if you are going to try and fit in with these people you have got to lighten up. Hell, half of these women probably take their menopause pills each morning with a Bourbon chaser," she said, as she blew a piece of hair off of her forehead and went back to flipping through catalogs with napkins or some shit. "So, what shade of green do you think would be best for the napkins?"

Since the party was landing on Saint Patrick's Day, we had come up with the idea to have the theme of 'Everyone Gets Lucky.' When she had originally mentioned the idea I thought she meant sex, but Alice had been leaning more towards poker/Ocean's Eleven and less towards humping/Moulin Rouge.

After deciding that 'Money-Tree Green' was far more elegant than 'Irish-Island Green,' pretty much everything had been planned. The party would have poker tables, hors d'oeuvres ('because sit down dinners are so overrated unless it's a wedding,' according to Alice), music from the Rat Pack that would be Edward and Jasper approved, and lots of booze minus the green beer.

"You know, if Rosalie would just let me plan her wedding without having constant opinions about things, it would be so much easier," Alice said as she flipped through the book of wedding proofs the photographer had mailed to me, but I had not gone through yet.

"Well, see, then it would be your wedding all over again and not hers." I laughed as she shrugged her shoulders and flipped to the next page.

I tried to stay out of the wedding planning debates because I honestly agreed that Rosalie was requesting some pretty outlandish things, but it was also her wedding and I guess if she really wanted a swan ice sculpture she should have one, even if Alice thought that it would make the wedding more 'ghetto-fabulous' and less 'Alice-approved, breathtakingly elegant'. However, I knew they would be getting married in one of the banquet halls of the Four Seasons, followed by a 'lavish' dinner and dance reception. The only thing I was concerned with was making sure I knew when to show up with Edward, and when to be fitted for my dress and his tuxedo. The rest were just details between Alice and Rosalie.

"Do you still have your wedding dress?" Alice asked me with a slight smile on her face.

"Well yes. What would I do with it? Throw it away?" I answered, but became hesitant when she pushed herself up off the floor and began clapping.

"Where is it?" She jumped on the couch next to me and I immediately became nervous. I could lie and tell her it was at my parent's house and risk the chance of her being able to tell I was lying and then going through every single closet I had, or I could just tell her and hope that this didn't involve something insane.

"It is in the closet in the hallway. Why?"

Before I could even finish my sentence she had bolted off the couch and was making a beeline for the closet. I sighed and heard her grunting as she pulled the dress bag out of the closet. When she walked back into the room, all you could see was the bag and a tiny pair of arms wrapped around it. Instead of offering to help I just smiled and watched as she bumped into the end table and eventually stumbled into the back of the chair and dropped the dress over the back of it.

"What exactly are you doing?" I asked while picking up and shaking the wine bottles we had sitting on the coffee table, all of them empty.

"I think you should put your dress on." She started unzipping the bag, obviously not noticing or ignoring the look of utter confusion on my face.

"And why the hell would I want to do that?" I watched in mild amazement as Alice lifted the heavy silk and beaded dress out of the bag and held it up for me.

"Because it's pretty and I think it would be fun," she said as if it the reasoning should have been self-explanatory. She laid the dress over the arm of the couch and slid the hanger off.

I didn't move, but just watched as Alice looked back at me with her hands on her hips. "Bella come on. You will never wear this again, just put it on and see if it still fits." She unzipped the back of the dress and her hands went directly back to her hips.

I pushed myself off the couch and pulled my shirt over my head, admitting defeat.

"It had better freaking fit. The wedding was only four months ago." I slipped my jeans off and with Alice's assistance I stepped into the dress and held the bodice up as she zipped the back of it up. Thankfully, it did still fit. I decided that deserved a drink.

As Alice clapped and started reliving the day we had found my dress, I went into the kitchen and pulled out our fourth bottle of wine. Well, really it was only our third, that first bottle had already been opened when we started. I handed her the bottle and as she poured, I looked in the mirror that hung on the wall.

I did love this dress. I loved the way the weight of the fabric felt against my legs. I loved how the bodice curved perfectly over my breasts and my hips. I had tried on eight dresses, actually purchased another one, and then found this one. I tried it on as a joke, but once my mother had zipped the back of it up, I knew this was 'the dress.'

My mother convinced the store owner to give us the dress at a fraction of the cost, and it wasn't until two months later that we found out the he had actually stolen the dress and taken the money we had paid for it and put it in his own pocket. My perfect wedding dress was sold to me on the black market, but I really didn't give a damn. It was still perfect and I still loved it.

After granting Alice a few twirls I sunk onto the couch next to my best friend and gladly accepted the wine she offered me.

"The way Edward looked at you…" Alice sighed before smiling and running her dainty fingers over the beading that rested on the hip of the dress. "It was like he was seeing you for the first time."

I smiled, and although I knew what Alice meant, it didn't keep me from thinking how untrue that was.

"Well actually the first time Edward saw me, he had this look on this face that was like a mix of constipation and shitting in his pants at the same time," I said sarcastically, although it was the truth.

"I always knew you two would get married," she said smugly. "I knew it the first day you came home and said he was a complete jackass."

By this point, both of us were extremely tipsy and we playfully argued that there was in fact no way the she could have known, but in the end I conceded that she did have some weird ass form of psychic visions.

The scene must have looked ridiculous, one of us in a wedding dress, wine bottles covering the table, and 'The Best of Madonna' blaring from the speakers. But to be perfectly honest, I didn't give a shit.

The two of us laughed, remembering the first time Alice had met Edward and accidentally locked him in the bathroom at Jasper's apartment, which resulted in the door actually having to be taken off in order to get him out. We both jumped when the doorbell rang, followed by a series of rapid knocks on the front door.

"Were you expecting someone?" She asked while I pushed myself off the couch and looked at the clock. It was nine forty-five at night and I had no idea who the hell would be stopping by.

I opened the front door, laughing as she joked that someone might have called the cops on us, but stopped when I saw Esme standing on my front porch, holding a small paper bag and looking at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears.

"Esme?" I asked, and flinched a little when I heard Alice say 'aw fuck' in a very loud whisper.

She stood there, her mouth slightly open, blinking at me.

"Why are you wearing your wedding dress?" She asked, and looked over my shoulder at Alice who was standing behind me.

In my mind I tried to think of an explanation that would make us not look insane, but the more I thought, the more hilarious it seemed to me. I went from a small chuckle to a full out case of church giggles in the span of a few minutes. Alice joined in, and the two of us held onto each other and tried not to fall over as we both snorted, which only made the laughing more ridiculous.

Esme shook her head, moving past the two of us who were now sitting in the middle of the floor. She looked around the living room; when her eyes met the coffee table that was covered in empty wine bottles she whirled around and stared at us. As one hand flew to her hip, the other pointed at our still laughing human puddle on the floor.

"You're drunk!" She yelled, and stepped over the two of us and shut the front door after dropping her little brown bag in the chair.

"Well no shit, Esme," I sat up and said with a laugh. Alice roared with laughter and fell back onto the floor as I stood up and pulled my dress up and sashayed back over to the coffee table, picking up my glass and the bottle of wine. "What are you doing here anyway?"

She did her fake 'Oh my Lord' impression and let her boney hand fly to her chest, and pretended to be scandalized.

"I was just stopping by to apologize for not being able to make our appointment today…" She started but I held my hand up and stopped her. The wine in the glass swished and nearly spilled.

"Esme, I do not care to hear your lame excuse. I think it is perfectly clear that it is not a priority for you to get to know me," I said, and ignoring my glass, took a swig out of the bottle.

"You go girl," Alice laughed and sat with her back leaning against the front door and watched us with amusement.

Now, my parent's had raised me to respect my elders. They had also raised me to not take shit from people who wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. In situations like this, I wasn't sure which lesson should prevail. But having decided that I had been taking Esme's shit way too long, it was now okay for me to give her a piece of my mind. Well, that and I was drunk.

"Bella, I can explain what happened," Esme said with exaggerated sigh.

"Do not want to hear it, Esme," I said, and tried to walk past her. As my shoulder brushed against her, she grabbed my glass and yanked it out of my hand.

"Bella, I am only saying this because I care about you." She held the glass out of my reach as I tried to grab it. "I think you have a drinking problem."

_Oh that is fucking hilarious. _ _A woman who medicates herself so she can delude herself into thinking that her life is perfect is telling me I have a drinking problem._

We argued back and forth, Esme continually moving my glass out of my reach as I kept trying to reach around her to grab it. She kept repeating that it was for my own good, and I kept telling her to shut up and give me back my glass.

About the fourth time we had made a circle of me trying to get my glass back, we were interrupted by Alice who had yelled 'fuck' and was rubbing the back of her head which had been hit by the doorknob that had been pushed open by Edward.

The entire scene stood still as Edward laughed and walked into the room, followed closely by Jasper and Emmett. All of their faces froze when they tried to understand the scene going on before them.

Alice was sitting on the floor rubbing the back of her head and trying to stand up, but kept slipping on the rug and tile. Esme was holding a half-full wine glass above her head and trying to push me away. I was in my wedding dress, holding a bottle of wine and reaching around my mother-in-law trying to get my freaking glass back, all with Madonna's best hits from the eighties providing a soundtrack. All in all, it had to be pretty shocking.

Edward looked between the three of us as if trying to figure out what the hell was happening. Jasper helped Alice up off the floor and inspected the back of her head while she pouted. Emmett, however ,only paused for a second then pushed through Jasper and Edward and after saying hello to Esme announced that he needed to 'drop some kids off at the pool' and headed towards the bathroom.

"What the hell is going on?" Edward asked and turned his head slightly as Alice called him a jackass for hitting her with the door.

Esme started to explain her version of the story and after hearing a few words that painted me as a crazy ass alcoholic, I decided I didn't need to hear anymore. I grabbed for the glass which only started the struggle again.

"Just give me the fucking glass, Esme!" I yelled and even though Edward was now standing between the two of us trying to get me to back off and telling Esme to stop calling me an 'angry drunk,' I still kept reaching for the glass.

I knew at this point the glass was not the issue. But in my mind, that fucking glass represented everything wrong in this whole fucked up situation that was going on between Esme and me. It was her busting into a situation and not even taking the time to understand what was going on, but deciding that she needed to take control anyway. It was her coming into _MY_ house and doing whatever she wanted to without considering how it would make me or Edward feel. It was her! It was her always making me feel worthless and never good enough for her son! And some point between Jasper trying to help Edward get me to back off, Alice telling Jasper to stay out of it, Edward trying to get Esme and me both to shut up, and Emmett asking what the hell was going on, that I snapped.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, everyone and everything stopped.

It felt like every single bit of pent up frustration that was in my body was letting loose. The damn and the levees had broken, and the flood waters were now free to consume everything that lay before them.

"I am so fucking tired of you thinking that you can just come into my house and do what you want! I am tired of you making me feel like I am worthless and not worthy of your son!" I screamed, trying to keep from crying. Crying would defeat the whole damn thing, and I was tired of being fucking defeated by her.

"Esme I do not give a flying fuck if you like me! I don't care if you think I am a white trash whore that makes your perfect son have wild and kinky sex!" I continued, ignoring the stares of everyone around me.

"I don't care because your opinion will not make or break me. You need to know that your fucking crazy ass antics are making your son miserable! And I think you are a shitty mother for putting him in the middle of this!"

Esme's eyes became wide with anger or fear, one of the two. She dropped the glass she had been holding, and as it hit the floor the deep red contents splashed onto my pure white dress.

Alice yelped a small 'no' and covered her mouth with her hands. Edward's head dropped but his hands remained wrapped around my arms. Emmett and Jasper looked nervously between each other, and the finally down at the floor.

I continued to stare at Esme while she stared back at me. If she thought I would look away, she was dead fucking wrong. She finally blinked and tugged at the hem of her jacket, and after a nervous throat clearing she left the house, slamming the door behind her.

Edward's head finally rose and after looking around the floor, his eyes met mine. I wasn't sure what I was expecting to find, probably anger at me or his mother, but when his eyes finally reached mine, I couldn't understand the look I saw there.

I ignored Jasper and Emmett who were going into the kitchen to get towels to clean up the floor. I ignored Alice and the clinking noise that accompanied her picking up the bottle from our little party. I didn't even move when she gently took the bottle that was still in my hands. When she went into the kitchen, Edward's hands slipped down my arms until he was holding my hands.

We didn't say anything, just continued to stare at each other. When we heard the other's coming back into the living room, he only nodded his head slowly and gently kissed my forehead.

"Bella, you need to get out of that dress. If we soak it now, we might be able to get most of the stain out," Alice said quietly. I nodded and started to move.

"Stop," Edward commanded fiercely and I looked back at him. "There is glass on the floor," he said in a softer voice and nodded towards the floor.

I looked down and saw that my bare feet were peaking out from underneath my dress, standing out in sharp contrast against his and Alice's shoes. I didn't complain as he slowly picked me up. I could only nod and held onto his shoulders as he carried me off the tile and gently set me down in the hallway. He moved out of way to let Alice get by and muttered something about going to go get a broom.

I watched him leave and shook my head at the red liquid that was still splattered all over my floor until Alice gently grabbed my hand and led me into the bathroom. I let her help me pull my dress off. I helped her lay my dress in the bathtub and both of us leaned over the tub and began rubbing the fabric gently, trying to get the red stains out of my once-perfect wedding dress.

After a brief silent spell, Alice laid a hand gently on my shoulder.

"Bella, we can get the stains out. It will be ok," she said in a sweet whisper.

I nodded, hearing footsteps on the carpet. I looked behind me and saw Edward standing in the door way. He looked at me for a few seconds and left again.

I looked back into the tub at the red stains mixing with the water, and how they made a faded pink color over the contrast of the white dress. These stains wouldn't come out and I knew it. They might fade or shrink; the stain might be hardly recognizable to anyone who didn't know they were there, but I would always know.

"No." I said with a sigh.

"What?" Alice asked as she kept scrubbing the hem of the dress.

"Some stains just won't go away Alice." I sighed and pushed myself up off of the floor and left my best friend sitting on my bathroom floor and my tainted wedding dress in the bathtub.

**A/N I feel so bad for not responding to all of the reviews but just know I read them, and I love them and they make me super happy. A lot of you have said that it makes you so sad for Esme to be so mean. I'm sorry. I love Esme in the books, but this Esme is a combination of my two MIL's so she has to be a super bitch. Sorry.**

**As always thanks to Di who puts up with my constant rambling about this story. For Mel for filling in and being awesome as always (VFP FTW), for TFTM you know who you are and how much I utterly adore all of you, and mostly for my mom, sister in law, and best friend Ally, and Ms. Karin. I love ya'll.**

**And now for something a little more personal, I have to dedicate a lot of this to a very dear friend who we are losing to cancer. Ms Jacque is the person who taught me how to be opinionated. She took a very shy and timid eight year old girl, and taught her how to be the opinionated and passionate person I am today. She told me that as long as I said "in my opinion" then I couldn't ever be wrong. Well, that lead to me telling a teacher "Well in my opinion you are stupid." And, I will never forget that.**

**The last time I saw her was at my wedding where she told me that she was proud of me and how beautiful I was. She will always have a place in my heart and I will never ever forget her. So Ms Jacque this entire story is dedicated to you. Because, I know that in so many ways my Bella is a lot like you. **


	16. This is It

**I do not own Twilight, but I do own this Bella and all of her F-you's to Esme. Enjoy!**

I left Alice sitting on the floor of my bathroom and went to find Edward. My happy buzz from less than an hour ago had now turned into a sad ass excuse of what would soon be a massive hangover.

I knew that I probably shouldn't have said what I did, or delivered it in the manner that I had, but eventually, enough is enough right? Fuck the passive aggressive therapy and the fake happy family bullshit. There was a problem, a real problem, and no one was addressing it.

I pulled at the ends of my hair in frustration as I wandered through the back of our house. I could hear Emmett and Jasper talking in hushed voices from the living room and tried not to think of just how fucking crazy I had acted.

Through the window in the guestroom I saw Edward out on the back porch. He sat on the patio chair with his long legs sprawled out in front of him, looking straight ahead and slowly turning his phone over in his hands.

This was so fucking conflicting. I felt bad for making Edward go through this. I hated making him feel like he had to choose between the two of us. But, I couldn't just continue with this bullshit. I refused to let Esme keep walking all over me and treating me like I was a disposable figure in Edward's life. It felt like for the past six years we had been teetering on the edge of some sort of decision. We either had to ignore the problem and continue being miserable, or address the biggest freaking elephant in the room _ever_ and just let it all out. In the span of thirty seconds, I had pushed us all over the edge.

Part of me thought I should feel guilty. There had to be a million different ways to have handled the situation, and I probably picked the worst possible one. I shouldn't have cussed at her, and I definitely shouldn't have said what I did in front of Alice, Jasper, and Emmett. But, if I was being honest with myself, the only thing I felt guilty about was the fact that Edward was smack-dab in the middle of this situation.

With a sigh, I opened the patio door and walked outside. Edward didn't move. I slowly padded across the patio, ignoring the chill of the pavement against my bare feet. His eyes remained looking straight ahead of him, and his hands stopped moving.

I stood there for what seemed like hours. Neither one of us said anything. Maybe it was because we didn't know exactly what to say to each other, or perhaps I'd already said enough for the both of us.

"Bella, what the fuck?" His voice broke the silence of our backyard and made me jump.

He stood up abruptly and began pulling his jacket off, "You are standing out here in next to nothing with your brother and Jasper wandering around inside. Not to mention it is still the middle of the fucking winter."

It wasn't until he said something that I remembered all I had on was my bra and panties. My clothes were probably still thrown on the floor in the living room. He wrapped his jacket around me and grabbed the blanket that had been sitting on one of the lawn chairs and handed it to me.

As I pulled the blanket around my body, he sat back in the chair and tossed his phone onto the table. I crossed my arms across my chest and looked down at him. I wondered how this conversation was going to go. Normally I could tell what his mood was without him having to say anything, but since Esme left, I couldn't get a reading on what he was feeling. The look on his face wasn't mad or upset. He almost looked determined in a way.

"I'm sorry about your wedding dress," he said. His voice was deeper than normal and slightly menacing.

"Edward I don't give a shit about that dress." It was true that I loved that dress, but it was just a freaking dress. I had worn it for the wedding and it wasn't like I could wear it anywhere else.

He asked me what happened, and feeling slightly foolish, I explained what exactly had taken place before he'd arrived. I told him how mad I was about how his mother had stood me up that morning, and about how Alice and I had just been letting loose when Esme had shown up. I explained that I wasn't really sure why today pushed me over the edge, and that the only reason I could think of was because enough was finally enough.

"I know why she didn't meet you today," he said as his eyes narrowed. He rubbed his forehead and continued. "She called me this morning while you were still asleep. I left you a note on the counter which I can only assume you never got."

"What?" I asked as I pulled a chair up and sat next to him. "Why would she call you and not me? And why didn't you just call and tell me yourself instead of leaving a freaking note? Why didn't she show up?"

Edward pushed himself out of his chair and slowly began pacing back and forth in front of me with his hands shoved into his pockets.

"She called at six this morning, Bella. I told her yesterday that I was going to go play golf with the guys, and she knew I would be up. I obviously didn't want to wake you up, but I just… I didn't think to call you. I just assumed you would see the note by the coffee pot this morning when you got up."

He stopped pacing and leaned against one of the pillars of our porch. "Pickles died this morning. That's why she wasn't able to meet you."

Pickles, Esme's annoying ass miniature poodle, had been her constant companion for at least the past ten years. And due to the fact I woke up an hour late, I had skipped coffee at the house and had just decided to get coffee when I met up with Esme. What a clusterfuck.

"God." I groaned and pulled my legs up onto the chair, hugging my knees to my chest.

"I know," Edward lamented and returned to his seat next to me.

I felt sorry for Esme, I really did. But that didn't change the fact that she had once again come to our house, uninvited and without calling beforehand, and made a complete mess of things. She had no right to storm into my house only to call me a drunk and tell me that I needed to seek help for my anger management issues. The fact that her dog died didn't mean that she was any less of a crazy bitch who took things way too far.

The two of us sat there in silence for ten minutes, though it easily could have been mistaken for two hours. I leaned forward, resting my forehead on my knees, and slowly shook my head. Edward simply watched me; his expression was a mix of sadness and regret.

"I wish I could say I am sorry for what I said to her, but I'm not," I finally told him. I didn't want to sound like a bitch, but it was the truth.

"I am sorry for the way that it happened, and I am sorry that you got put in the middle of it, literally. But I am not sorry for finally standing up to her. I can't keep dealing with this. _WE_ can't keep dealing with this."

He sighed and leaned back in the chair, looking out at our backyard, staring at absolutely nothing for a few moments. Finally, he looked back at me with that same look of regret in his eye. It was like he wanted to say something but couldn't form the correct words to get it out. A minute later, his lips moved as his eyes looked over my face.

"You have no reason to be sorry. I am the one who should be apologizing to you," he said in a low whisper. I think I actually felt my heart break a little when his head dropped and his shoulders sagged. He leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands buried in his hair.

I stood up and moved in front of him, my hands gently trying to pull his out of his hair. This was exactly what I DID NOT want. I didn't want him blaming himself. I didn't want him to feel guilty or feeling like all of this was his fault.

His hands finally released his hair, and his arms wrapped themselves around my waist, holding me to him. My fingers gently threaded themselves through his hair as he rested his forehead against my stomach.

"Edward this isn't your fault." I tried to push him back so that he would look up at me, but he just shook his head and held me tighter. "Edward please…"

He finally spoke and looked up at me. "I should have stood up for you. From the beginning, I should have stood up for you and I didn't. It's just that…"

He shook his head as if he was trying to figure out what he wanted to say.

"She's my mom. I don't know how to tell my mom that she is insane or crazy," he finished and looked back up at me. His eyes seemed to be searching for something. Maybe hoping I would understand why in the past six, almost seven years of our relationship he had always turned a blind eye to Esme's antics.

I wish I could say that I understood, and maybe I did a little. But, for the most part, I didn't. My parents loved Edward; they would have done anything to make him feel welcome and included in our family. From the first time they met him, long before we got married, he had always been considered one of "us." He was family, and you just didn't treat family like that.

He let go of me and got back up to continue pacing. I sat in his vacated seat and watched him as he clenched and unclenched his hands into tight fists.

"Tonight, watching you… loose it like that," he said as he stopped pacing, and for a few seconds, just looked at me, "I can't lose you."

He stood in front of me, kneeled down so that we were both at eye level, and wrapped his hands around mine.

"I can't lose you," he said again, his voice breaking slightly.

My heart started pounding as I watched his eyes begin to tear up. For the first time, in the entire time we had been together, I really felt like he finally understood. It wasn't that we weren't strong enough as a couple to handle this. It wasn't even that I wasn't strong enough to handle it myself. But, I would not continue to be disrespected.

"This is the last time Edward. You have to understand that I will not keep going through this." There, I finally said it. And although I knew it had to be said, it scared the shit out of me.

Esme and I were putting Edward in the middle, and yes, it was wrong. But, for the past six years I had made the choice to continue to put up with it. And tonight, I made the choice that I wouldn't put up with it any more. This was it, and Edward knew that.

"I know," he said, and gave me a look that made it clear that he did in fact understand.

I nodded my head and gave him a small smile as his hands tightened around mine.

"No more fake family therapy," I said, and when my favorite crooked smile crossed his face, I leaned in and kissed his lips softly.

That night something shifted in our relationship. I had known Edward for a long time, and knew him better than anyone else on the planet probably did. But somehow, tonight, I felt closer to him than I ever had.

We made love that night, and although it definitely wasn't the first time, it was different. It was almost like some invisible barrier that had been keeping us from really understanding each other was gone. Each kiss seemed deeper, each touch more tender, and each 'I love you,' more sincere.

When I woke up the next morning, my head only slightly pounding from the massive amounts of wine consumed the night before, I smiled and snuggled deeper into my pillow as Edward's arms instinctively tightened around me.

I laid there with my eyes closed and just enjoyed the way we fit together: Our legs tangled together, Edward's head nestled against the back of mine, and his breath tickling the back of my neck. It all felt too good to be true.

As if on cue, Edward's cell phone started ringing. He clumsily sat up and leaned over me trying to see what time it was. Obviously not impressed with the fact that it was eight in the morning, he fell back onto the bed. I laughed as his hand flew out to the table beside the bed and he groped blindly for the offensive ringing phone.

"Yes?" he said grumpily once he had found it.

He didn't say anything else, and I could hear a distorted version of a man's deep voice on the other end of the phone.

Edward looked over at me then up at the ceiling for a few seconds before throwing the covers off and stumbling out of bed. I watched as he grunted in response to whatever he was being asked and searched around the room for some sort of clothing to put on. He finally found his jeans and pulled them on, and after giving me an apologetic look, left the bedroom.

The odds that Carlisle was the person on the other end of that phone were pretty great. I tried not to be resentful of the fact that Edward had left the room to talk to him. He had every right to have a private conversation with his father, even if that conversation was probably about me calling Esme a horrible mother and her leaving our house in quite a hurry.

Deciding that lying in bed and dwelling on it wasn't the best choice, I got up. After throwing on my robe, I walked into the kitchen to start the coffee.

I saw Edward's note tucked under the coffee pot and without a second thought, I crumpled it up and tossed it into the trashcan. The thought of food made my stomach turn uneasily so I stood there, leaning against the counter, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing.

I could hear Edward's muffled voice coming from the office and resisted the urge to go and listen through the door. That would be childish and wrong, especially if I got caught. I drummed my fingers against the counter top and thought of how naive I had been last night to think that this wouldn't have been an issue today.

Sure, Edward and I had worked things out, and made great strides in moving past all of this bullshit. But, Esme was still his mother, and we still had to figure out how this was going to work. I guess I could have just told him that I point blank refused to see her. In my opinion, she deserved nothing less. But, Carlisle and Edward deserved more. _Damn it._

In the middle of my internal musing, Edward came into the kitchen. I jumped when he came up behind me and his arms wrapped around my waist. His chin rested on my shoulder, and for a few seconds, we both silently watched the coffee dripping into the pot.

"I have to ask you a favor," he said in a quiet voice that seemed somewhat timid.

"You want me to go talk to your mom," I responded in a flat tone.

Edward nodded, his chin digging into my shoulder. "She wants to apologize to you. I told dad that it would be up to you."

I turned around in his arms and looked up at him. He only shrugged his shoulders before leaning down and kissing the top of my head before he let me go.

"What do you mean it is up to me?" I asked and watched as he pulled two coffee cups out of the cabinet and set them on the counter.

"I mean it is up to you, Bella." He walked over to the refrigerator, his jeans hanging loosely on his hips. As he leaned into the fridge to get the creamer I was momentarily distracted from the lovely view of his hind parts, but shook my head when he shut the door.

"I told you last night that I was done trying to force the two of you to get along. If you want to hear what she has to say, then I will go with you. If not, then I am more than happy to spend my Sunday in bed with you." Edward set the creamer on the counter and leaned in, kissing me quickly.

He continued moving around the kitchen, popping bread in the toaster and pulling down two plates. He handed me two Advil's and a bottle of water before swatting my ass, and then he headed out to the front porch to get the news paper.

I took the Advil, fixed my coffee, and was sitting at the table when he breezed back into the house and laid the paper down on the table.

"Target has their lawn furniture on sale already. We should go and check out the table and chairs. The ones we have aren't very comfortable," he said while fixing his breakfast and coffee. "I guess last night was the first time I had really spent a lot of time sitting in them."

I wasn't sure what the hell I was expecting from him today, but this chipper, happy-go-lucky version of my husband wasn't it. I'd expected there to be a slight argument, maybe even some begging from him. Not that I was complaining, but his reaction was kind of scaring me.

He slid a plate of dry toast in front of me and then took his seat across the table. I watched as he pulled the sports section out of the newspaper and folded it in front of him to start reading.

"Just like that huh?" I asked before begrudgingly taking a bite of the toast.

"Just like that," he answered without looking up at me.

I nibbled on my toast and watched as Edward shook his head over whatever it was he was reading about. I wanted to ask him what _he_ wanted me to do, but I knew he would just tell me to do what I wanted. What I wanted was for all of this bullshit to be behind us. I wanted to have a happy normal life with my husband, sans the crazy mother-in-law bullshit. I wanted to be happy, more than that I wanted Edward and I to be happy as a couple.

There was the problem. I knew Edward well enough to know that even if he wouldn't show it to me, not speaking to his mother would bother him. It would disrupt the relationship he had with his father, and therefore screw up his life all together. _Damn it._

"Ok," I said, and waited for his reaction.

"Ok what?" He turned the page and kept reading.

"Ok I will go see your parents." I picked up my cup and took a drink.

Edward set the paper down and looked at me. I shrugged as he gave me that 'Bella-exasperates-me' look and continued drinking my coffee.

"Are you doing this because you want to, or because you think this is what I want?" he asked in his little smug way that annoyed me. I sometime really hated that he knew me as well as he did.

"Edward, do I really want to see your mom? No. Do I want this shit over and done with? Yes. I will hear what she has to say, and then we will go from there." I got up from the table and took my dishes into the kitchen.

Edward watched me, a look of concern mixed with humor on his face.

"You're sure?" he asked me again.

"I'm sure," I answered, and then went to go take a shower.

An hour later, I was sitting in the passenger seat of Edward's car, listening as he sang along to some Run DMC song that he and Jasper had decided needed to be resurrected. The two of them would go through fazes of musical rebirth, and Alice and I would be graced with their selections once they deemed it necessary to educate us.

"Will you see if my sunglasses are somewhere back there?" Edward asked as a brief ray of sunshine broke through the normal cloud cover.

I agreed and began looking in the back seat until I found his sunglasses in his briefcase. As I was turning back around, I saw the same brown bag Esme had been carrying yesterday and picked it up.

"What's this?" I asked after handing him his glasses.

He looked down at the bag and shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know. Mom brought it over last night and I guess she left it there. She asked me to bring it with me." He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and started bobbing his head to the beat of the music.

I listened to more Edward approved renditions of early nineties rap, and as we got closer to his parent's house, I started mentally preparing myself for whatever it was that we would be facing. Before we left the house, Edward made me promise him that I wouldn't give in just because I thought it was what he wanted.

I wasn't so much worried about giving in as much as I was about having another argument. I didn't want to argue with her anymore, and if that was what today was going to be about, then she could forget it.

We pulled into the driveway, and as always, Carlisle greeted us on the front porch. He met us halfway up the walk, and after hugging Edward, he pulled me into a tight embrace that lasted a few seconds longer than normal.

"If it's ok with you Bella, Esme wanted to talk to you alone." Carlisle looked between me and Edward.

Edward only nodded in my direction, telling me that this decision was again all my choice.

"That's fine," I agreed, and after another hug from Carlisle and a kiss from Edward, I went inside and shut the heavy front door behind me.

I twisted the twine handles of Esme's paper bag as I walked through their house. I took deep breaths, reminding myself that if this ended up in an argument, all I had to do was get up and leave. I didn't have to stay here and listen to whatever bullshit Esme might throw at me. And, most importantly, whatever happened, Edward would stand by me.

I walked into the living room to find Esme sitting in her normal chair by the window. I stopped, a little taken aback at the sight of her. I had never seen Esme looking anything less than perfect, until today.

Her hair was pulled away from her makeup-free face in a messy ponytail, and from under the blanket that was lying across her lap, I saw a pair of sweatpants peek out that matched her loose top. Her eyes were puffy and red, along with the tip of her nose. She dabbed at it with a ratted up Kleenex as she continually sniffed. All in all, Esme looked like shit.

When she saw me, she nervously stood up but didn't walk any closer than she already was. I stood in the doorway, not sure of what I should say or do, and honestly I was a little more than shocked at her appearance.

"Thank you for coming over," she said after a few moments of awkward silence. Her voice was gravely. She nodded toward the chair across from hers, and as I walked towards it, she wiped her nose and sniffled loudly.

I sat down, still not sure of what I should say or do.

"Here is your bag," I said rather lamely, holding up the brown bag that I had been carrying.

"Actually it's your bag," she said as she sat and laid the blanket back over her lap. "It's something I got for you."

I looked down at the bag wondering what the hell she would have gotten me. The sarcastic side of me guessed that it was dog shit, but my more serious side said that that wasn't possible. Esme would never touch actual dog shit.

"Before you open it, I was hoping I could talk to you," she said, interrupting my visual image of Esme wearing those bright yellow cleaning gloves and a biohazard mask just to pick up pieces of dog poop.

"Ok." I sat the bag on the floor next to the chair and waited for whatever it was that Esme wanted to talk to me about.

The awkward silence returned for a few moments, and I nervously picked at the hem of my sleeves.

"I owe you an apology," Esme said in a small voice that I had never heard before.

She sounded weak, and very unsure of herself.

I decided to not say anything. I wanted to wait and see where else she would take this, and if this actually was a real apology, or just something she was saying because she knew how mad Edward was at her.

"I owe you several apologies actually." She sighed and wiped at her nose again. "I don't blame you if you never forgive me, but I at least want you to know that I mean it."

I still remained silent, waiting for whatever sort of explanation she was going to give me, but she just looked at me then back out the window.

"I accept your apology Esme, but I am not sure that I can forgive or forget what has happened between us," I said, and watched as she nodded but kept looking out of the window.

She cleared her throat and abruptly nodded her head to the bag sitting at my feet.

"Please open it Bella," she said and sat up a little straighter in her chair.

I picked the bag up, and slowly pulled the contents that were wrapped in tissue paper out of it. Esme watched as I pealed the thin bits of paper away from the gift. I pulled the last piece away and saw that she had given me a copy of _The Secret Garden_, one of my favorite books. I slowly opened the cover, and after reading the opening passage, I noticed that it was a first edition.

"Oh wow," I said in an awed whisper while gently turning the pages.

"It was my great grandmother's. She gave it to me when I was twelve." Esme smiled and watched as I closed the book and ran my fingers over the smooth cover.

"Esme I can't… I can't accept this." I looked back at her, wondering why the hell she would give me something like this, and really wishing that I could accept it.

"You can. Edward is my only child, and eventually the two of you will have children and you can pass it on." She stood up and slowly folded the blanket she'd been using.

I shook my head but she ignored my protests.

"I want you to have that book Bella. You understand what something like that means because you enjoy books and literature. I would much rather you have it and enjoy it, than for it continue to sit on a shelf in here and not be enjoyed."

I sighed, but reluctantly nodded my head.

"Thank you Esme."

She only nodded and went back to looking out of the window, standing in front of it with her arms wrapped around herself.

The two of us sat there, in a silence that was heavy with so many things that both of us wanted to say, or needed to say, but didn't. I eventually decided that she had said everything she wanted to, and I got up to leave.

When I got to the doorway, she called my name and I stopped.

"I am very sorry that I missed our appointment together yesterday," she said in the same small voice from before.

I nodded and looked down at the book that was I holding in my hands.

"I am sorry about Pickles," I said.

She turned slightly and looked at me for a few seconds before turning back to the window.

I left their house that day more confused than I'd been when we arrived, but also feeling sorry for Esme. I didn't know if she was more upset about losing her dog, or about what I had said yesterday. But, as Edward drove us back home, I looked down at the book resting in my lap and I wondered if I had just been duped into believing Esme really was sorry, or if this was just her way of bribing me.

I sighed and leaned my head against the window, but smiled when Edward's hand wrapped around mine. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze, and I decided that I would deal with Esme later. Today I wanted to enjoy this, and I squeezed his hand back.

**Hmmm… Lots to think about yes? Lucky for all of you I am way ahead of schedule for this story, I think I deserve a gold star. Anyways, thanks to Di (Hammondgirl) as always (I missed you and I am so glad you are back!), Mels (Little Miss Whitlock) You and I make beautiful obscene and offensive fanfics together and I effin' love it. As always my TFTM you girls make me laugh and snort to the point that it makes me look a little "special" and not in a good way. I just have to say I love my mommy, my BFF, my SIL, Tonie, and Karin for not making fun of my obsessions and instead encouraging me to continue. I love yall!**

**As far as Pickles goes, Edward named her that when he was ten. FYI.  
**

**Lastly, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your prayers for my friend. She passed away, but her legacy will continue on in her family and friends. Thank you again and I hope yall enjoyed this chapter.**


	17. Peer Pressure

**Enjoy!**

Why is it that life is always a bitch when you really, _really_ need it not to be? For the hundredth time that night I rolled over in bed, trying to get comfortable as my mind replayed everything that had happened over the past month. I was beyond exhausted, and although Edward had told me to just go ahead and go to bed since his flight had been delayed, I couldn't. It was like my mind just couldn't shut down.

The last two weeks had been horrible. Edward had been given an account at work that had taken him to Portland for the past week and a half, and would probably keep him there through next month, only letting him come home on the weekends. The daily and nightly phone calls just weren't cutting it, and I was absolutely aching for him to come back. I knew it was silly, but I just felt and functioned better when he was home.

The fact that our dining room and living room were now completely empty didn't help with the loneliness. All of the furniture, except Edward's piano, had been moved to a storage room earlier that week. We had to move everything to make room for the tables and DJ that would be descending on my house in less than twenty four hours.

I had been stressed as hell about the damn Junior League party that was tomorrow night. Had it not been for Alice, I had no idea what I would have done. Even with her help, my days were still spent on the phone with caterers and the people who were supposed to deliver all of the poker tables, which only led to me not getting near enough work done during the day, so I was forced to bring a majority of it home. I had spent the last two weeks staying up till the early morning hours trying to finish the three articles I had due at the end of the month. In a nutshell, I'd been running on a lot of coffee and not near enough sleep.

Esme's strange behavior had been the icing on the cake. It wasn't that she was her old bitch-ass self, I could handle that easily enough. But when she started calling me everyday just to see how I was, or offering me their guest room while Edward was out of town, it made me worry. She even had Edward take my wedding dress to be cleaned, and after several hundred dollars it was hanging back in the closet, almost as good as new.

I hadn't really decided what the whole book-given-as-a-peace offering was supposed to mean. Edward, while keeping his promise and being totally supportive, hadn't really given me much insight as to what a gift like that was supposed to mean. My mother and best friend both had very strong opinions, neither of them in Esme's favor.

When I had called my mom to tell her about the book, she immediately told me to give it back. She warned me that a gift like that never came without strings attached. Alice agreed, telling me that this was probably just another one of Esme's many stunts.

I really wanted to believe Esme was being honest when she'd said that she really was sorry and trying to turn over a new leaf in our relationship. Edward had told me that she'd decided to continue therapy, even though we had chosen not to. Dr. Carmen had apparently put her on a new medication that was making a "world of difference" – At least that was what Esme had told me last night when she'd called. Normally, I believed in second chances, but I had been burned one too many times by Esme, and as much as I wanted to hope she could change, I doubted she would.

Eventually, my mind stopped wondering over the last minute details of the party and Esme's antics, letting me finally fall asleep. It wasn't the peaceful deep sleep that I craved, but a more restless, waking-up-every-ten-minuets-and-then-falling-back-asleep type of sleep that confused the shit out of me.

I would think I could hear the front door opening, but would wake up, only to realize that I'd heard the house creaking and settling. I thought I could feel the bed shifting, but would wake up only to find the space next to me empty. I rolled over back onto my stomach and pulled Edward's pillow close to me, burying my face in it.

I felt something on my leg, but I was so sure that it was just the damn blanket or something else teasing me, so I just kept my eyes closed. When the feeling went from my leg to my hip, I groaned and rolled back over onto my back.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," a voice that was so soft and sweet that it was almost like a lullaby said in the dark. I kept my eyes closed; not wanting to be disappointed if I opened them and Edward wasn't actually standing there.

"Am I dreaming?" I asked in a whisper. The soft laughter that followed made my eyes open and a huge smile come to my face.

Edward was leaning over the side of the bed, his fingers slowly trailing up and down my arm. He dropped the bag he had been holding and laid on his side on the bed next to me. I started to move over to give him more room, but he stopped me.

"Don't," he whispered against my neck as he pulled me closer to him.

As the two of us lay there, just holding onto each other, it was like every muscle in my body relaxed. For the first time in a week, I didn't feel like I had been wound up too tight. I was tired enough to fall asleep, but I didn't want to miss this. I wanted more. I wanted to feel his lips against mine. I wanted to feel the texture of his hair against my fingers. I wanted him.

"I missed you so much," he said, letting go of me and leaning up so that he could look down at me. I smiled as he gently brushed a stray piece of hair off my forehead.

Looking up him, I could see that he was utterly exhausted. His eyes seemed to droop, and the familiar crease between his eyebrows was more defined, the way it always was when he was overly stressed or too tired. I reached up and gently traced the crease with my forefinger. He smiled, his eyes closed, and his head turned to kiss my wrist.

"Have you not been sleeping?" I asked as his hand pulled mine to his mouth and he kissed it gently.

He shook his head to answer me as he gently kissed each of my fingertips. "Have _you_ been sleeping?" he asked with a smile as I started to lecture him on working so much.

"You haven't even kissed me yet," I said, ignoring his question.

He leaned back down, letting one hand cup my face as the other held his balance next to my hip. When his lips finally touched mine, my arms wrapped themselves around him.

A kiss that started off slow and tender quickly built into something much, much more. The two of us started a frenzy of deep kisses and roaming hands. I tried to get my legs out from under the blankets, so that I could wrap them around him, but when I was unsuccessful in anything but kneeing Edward in the stomach, he yanked the blankets off of me and pulled me to him.

It really didn't seem fair that in five point three seconds Edward had successfully removed every piece of clothing I had on, while he was still fully clothed. I tried to concentrate on removing his damn tie and shirt, but his hands and lips were making it most difficult to concentrate on anything other than, well… his lips and hands.

Finally, I succeeded in pulling his shirt off, but when he grabbed my hips and laid me back against the bed I knew I had no chance with his pants.

As his lips kissed a slow and sensual trail across my shoulder and up my neck, one of his hands skimmed over my hip until it rested on the sensitive skin along my inner thigh.

I squirmed in anticipation, but with his free hand still on my hip he pushed me against the bed and whispered for me to be still. I nodded, and although it felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest, I tried to calm down. When I felt his fingers slowly moving against me, I bit my lip and pushed against the resistance of his hand still holding me to the bed.

My back arched as his thumb made slow and delicious circles around my clit, and each time he completed another circle I could feel every muscle in my body tense.

"Relax," Edward breathed against my neck before continuing the slowly trail of kisses that went from my neck, down my chest, and to my stomach. He hummed gently against the skin there, while his free hand released my hip and gently rubbed along my inner thigh.

As good as this felt, and as much I wanted and needed this, I wanted more.

"Edward…" I begged, and when he looked up at me, I knew he didn't need me to tell him.

He kissed his way back up my stomach slowly, stopping to pay very careful attention to each one of my nipples, all the while making me even more anxious for him.

Edward leaned over me, his lips slowly working against mine, and as I rushed to help him pull his pants and boxers down he laughed at my eagerness. "Bella, slow down," he mumbled against my lips, but I ignored him.

With his pants sufficiently crumpled on the floor beside the bed, I rolled him over onto his back and straddled his hips. As his hands ran up and down my thighs while he looked up at me, I couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed. It wasn't that I was embarrassed about him seeing me naked or anything like that, but the way he looked at me like I something to be adored and cherished made me feel embarrassed. He always saw me as beautiful and perfect; I saw myself is awkward and undeserving.

Deciding that I could analyze my self-esteem issues later, I slowly leaned down over him until my lips were barely touching his. "I love you," I whispered slowly, letting the almost ticklish sensation of my lips on his linger.

Edward leaned his head up as his hand cupped my neck and pulled my lips closer to his. He sat up, making me sit back on his lap, and as his tongue slowly traced the shape of my mouth, I slid myself onto him.

The feeling of the two of us finally being reconnected like this made my heart swell with excitement and devotion. I wrapped my arms around his neck, slowly rocking myself against him while trying to get as close to him as I could. Using my knees to push myself up and down faster, I reached behind him to hold onto the headboard for leverage.

I bit his bottom lip gently as his hands slid down my back to my hips, where he slowly guided me on and off of him. I leaned my forehead against his as our breathing became heavier and his grip became tighter.

"God Bella." he moaned as my thighs tightened around him and the pace we had set increased. I let go of the headboard and wrapped my arms so tightly around him that I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd had trouble breathing.

Edward wrapped an arm around my hips while pushing himself up, and once he was on his knees, he laid me back on the bed. He grabbed onto my waist and franticly pulled me toward him, each time moaning louder.

My back arched off the bed with each thrust. As I reached behind me, I fisted my hands in the blankets he had thrown off of me earlier and begged him to move faster.

It wasn't sweet and romantic; it was needy and urgent, because the two of us knew we only had a few days before having to go back to sleeping alone and being hours away from each other.

"Baby…" I panted, feeling that familiar tightening in the base of my stomach that made my toes curl in anticipation. I wanted to hold out, making this last as long as it could, but I knew neither one of us could hold on. Edward's pace became erratic as we each got closer and closer to the release be both needed.

I begged for him to pull me harder toward him, and as he complied, my eyes never left his. I wanted to scream out, tell him how much I loved him and needed him, how much I had missed him. But the only thing I could manage was a silent "I love you" mouthed over and over again.

My legs tightened around his waist, and as he thrust himself into me, I shook as my orgasm passed through my body. I tried to hold him to me, and after one last thrust, Edward's body tightened and a delicious moan escaped his mouth. I trembled as he slowly kept pulling me to him by my hips, until his body sagged and he lowered himself onto the bed.

My arms wrapped around his shoulders, and as we both struggled to catch our breath, I slowly ran my fingertips up and down his back. "You have no idea how much I missed you," I whispered against his shoulder which made him raise his head and look at me.

"I bet I could guess." He smiled lazily and kissed me gently.

We lay there, not talking, just being together. The silence was interrupted every now and then by a whispered "I love you," or "I missed you," but for the most part, it was the two of us smiling and watching each other.

Edward's hand would move from playing with a strand of my hair to drawing lazy circles on my stomach, while I gently scratched his back and ran my foot up and down his calf. His mouth eventually found mine again, and when the kisses and touches became more urgent, he picked me up off the bed and carried me into the bathroom. He didn't put me down as he started the shower, and after letting the water warm up, he stepped into the shower with me still in his arms.

The next morning, I woke up to my back and legs aching, while my hair resembled something close to a bird's nest. Maybe staying up till three in the morning having crazy hot sex with my husband three times wasn't the best idea, especially since I was now running an hour late and had less than twenty minutes to get ready before Alice showed up.

"Edward," I mumbled, trying to untangle my hair with my fingers and really wishing I hadn't gone to bed with it wet. When he didn't move or answer me, I rolled over.

The blankets were all shoved down around his waist, leaving his back bare. He had his head shoved under the pillow, and I could faintly hear his soft snores as his back rose and fell steadily. I smiled and moved closer to him, letting my hand trace over his back and gently sliding it under his stomach. He mumbled something as I pulled myself to him so that I was partially lying on his back.

"I can't understand you," I said sleepily before kissing the back of his shoulder.

Edward moved the pillow, shoving it grumpily under his head before snuggling back into it. "I said I'm not getting up."

I smiled before kissing the back of his head and sitting up. Edward could refuse to get up. Alice wasn't going to come in here and drag him out of bed. She'd get me though, no questions asked.

I started to move the blankets when Edward abruptly rolled over and pulled me back onto the bed. Holding me down with one had, he grabbed the blankets with the other and pulled them back up over both of us. "You aren't getting up either," he said, and pulled me tightly against him.

"I have to," I argued, but settled back against him and closed my eyes. I didn't want to leave our warm and comfortable bed, especially since last night was the first time I had gotten to actually sleep with Edward in almost two weeks. But, even if Alice wasn't going to be the fashion Nazi today, the caterers and people delivering the poker tables were eventually going to start showing up. And having them see me naked in bed with my husband was not high on my 'things to do' list.

When I told Edward this, he only held onto me tighter and started grumbling under his breath. I rolled over in his arms so that I was facing him, and when I kissed his lips softly, I saw his small smile.

"I promise tomorrow we can stay in bed all day," I whispered as his fingers slowly ran up and down my back, effectively making it even more impossible for me to leave this bed.

He nodded his head, but still didn't let me go. I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. Tomorrow was Sunday, which meant that on Monday morning, he would be leaving for Portland again. This meant that he would be gone another week, and that trend would continue until this damn project was finished.

The phone started ringing, interrupting the stillness that had surrounded the two of us and almost lulled us both back to sleep. I reached across Edward, pulling the phone off its charger, and mumbled a hello.

"Are you out of bed?" Alice asked, but didn't give me a chance to answer. "I'm bringing breakfast and coffee. Jasper is with me too so that he can help Edward."

"I'm about to get up." I laid across Edward, leaning my elbows on his side of the bed as Alice continued, totally ignoring the fact that I just told her I wasn't even out of bed yet. She had either forgotten her A.D.D. medication this morning, or was on the verge of OD-ing on coffee. Or maybe, it was a combination of both, knowing Alice.

Edward's hand slowly ran up and down my back as Alice gave me yet another play-by-play of what was to be expected today: hair and nails, followed by a 'relaxing' lunch, and then we were getting our make-up done. I'd tried to remind her that this was not the prom, but she would always tell me it was all going to be worth it in that exasperated Alice voice.

"Okay, how far away are you?" I finally interrupted her and asked.

"Probably like ten to fifteen minutes away," she said, and I heard her honk the horn and Jasper tell her to slow down.

"Okay, I will see you when you get here." I laughed when she honked again and told Jasper that she was 'perfectly able to drive on her own.' She gave me a quick goodbye before hanging up.

I gave Edward another five minutes before I got out of bed and rushed to get dressed. At least by the time Alice and Jasper got there, Edward and I both had on clothes and I was finished getting ready except for the knots that tangled my hair.

Alice and I left, leaving the boys in charge of making sure the tables got put in the correct places and that the caterers could find whatever they needed in the kitchen. I allowed Alice the pleasure of giving explicit instructions to the girl at the salon, and while I got my hair and nails done, I genuinely tried to relax and enjoy myself. It didn't last long.

The longer I sat there, the more and more I thought about the party. I began second guessing everything we had planned, and when Alice sat next to me, I tried not to look panicked. Obviously she saw right through it.

"It will be fine Bella." She smiled before leaning into me and whispering, "Just promise me you will be careful tonight. Okay?"

I looked at her, and when I saw she wasn't make some lame-ass attempt at a joke about me wearing heels, I asked her what the hell she was talking about.

"I know Esme has been calling you and trying to make peace or whatever, but I don't trust her." She was looking at me with her serious Alice face, and I groaned inwardly.

"Alice…" I started, but she interrupted me.

"Bella, all I am saying is that you have a big heart, especially when Edward is concerned."

"He is my husband Alice." I sighed, knowing full well what she was talking about, but not wanting to really admit it.

"I know that Bella, but I also know that Esme has some sort of weird control over Edward," she continued. "Bella, I am only saying this because I love both of you." She looked at me, her grey eyes full of concern.

I nodded, and once I promised her I wouldn't just fall for whatever it was that Esme might or might not be pulling, she handed me a magazine and we went back to waiting for our nails to dry.

Before I knew it, it was thirty minutes before the party was supposed to start. I stood against one of the walls in the kitchen and watched as the caterers went back and forth from the kitchen into the living room.

Since the moment Alice had mentioned that everyone had to wear green since it was Saint Patrick's Day, I had envisioned myself wearing a dress exactly like the one Kiera Knightly wore in _Atonement_. But, I wasn't wafer thin like she was, and this was a cocktail party, not the prom, so I settled on a vintage cocktail dress Alice had found a few weeks ago. I personally thought that the clover color made me look even paler than I already was, and that the shorter cocktail length made my legs look stubby, but I trusted Alice's judgment – _Mostly._

Edward walked into the kitchen, shrugging his suit jacket on and weaving out of the way of the people filling our normally empty kitchen. "Why are you hiding in here?" he asked me. "Jasper and Alice are out there getting the DJ in order."

I shrugged my shoulders and fixed his tie, sighing inwardly at how much more relaxed I felt once he was near me. As long as Edward would promise not to leave my side the entire night then I would be fine. _What was I five years old? Edward was my husband, not a freaking security blanket, _I thought.

"I'm not hiding, I'm supervising," I said as I smoothed the green silk fabric against his shirt and looked up at him. I tried to smile my best 'I am fine' smile, but knew it the back of my mind he would see right through it.

Sure enough, he looked down at me, his eyes narrowed. "Come on." He grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him as he walked out of the side door to our driveway.

I followed behind him, a little relieved to leave the constant noise and movement that was happening inside. I took a deep breath of cold air and immediately felt calmer. He pulled his jacket off and wrapped it around my shoulders.

"Tell me what's wrong," Edward said while he rubbed my arms. "And don't tell me you're fine because I know you aren't."

"I am fine, I'm just tired." I shrugged my shoulders. It wasn't a lie; I was mentally and physically exhausted. I was positive that my lack of sleep, along with all the bullshit with Esme the past month was what was making me so paranoid about this damn party.

Three months ago, I hadn't given a shit what these people thought about me; in fact, originally I had only planned to throw this damn party just to piss a few of them off. Sometime between then and now I had grown a damn conscious regarding this bullshit, and it was seriously starting to fuck with my head.

I explained this to Edward, and although I felt childish, he nodded his head in understanding. He listened as I explained how freaking hectic the past week had been, how nervous I was about this party either not being what was expected or being way more than expected. When I finished, I shrugged my shoulders and looked up at him.

"Stay here," he said before jogging back inside.

_Well what the hell? _I watched as he ran off, and after the door shut behind him, I threw my arms up lamely in the air. After making sure it wasn't too dusty, I sat down on the hood of my car.

I pushed my arms through the sleeves of Edward's suit jacket and pulled it tighter against me, wishing that spring would hurry up and get here. I sat there a few more moments, and just as I was about to go back inside, Edward and Jasper walked around the side of the house. They both looked highly suspicious, and the fact that Jasper kept looking over the back of his shoulder didn't help.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked after both of them walked right past me to the other side of the garage.

Edward held his finger up to his mouth while waving me over.

Whatever the two of them were planning couldn't have been good, but my curiosity got the better of me and I slid off the car and joined them.

"What?" I asked in a loud whisper when Jasper looked back over his shoulder toward the house and scooted us back further. A few seconds later he rejoined us and nodded to Edward.

"She shouldn't be able to see us from here," he said while digging through his pockets, handing Edward a silver flask and a cigarette lighter.

"Are you hiding from Alice?" I laughed loudly, but turned the laughter to a quite giggle when both of them shushed me. "Why the hell are you hiding from Alice?"

"Not hiding," Jasper said after pulling a matching silver cigarette case out of his jacket pocket. "I'm concealing."

"Hiding and concealing is the same thing Jasper." I looked between the two of them as they each took a drink from the flask Edward had opened.

"Concealing sounds better." Jasper winked at me before screwing the cap back on his flask and putting it back in his pocket.

"Okay, then what is it that you are concealing?" I asked with a small, nervous laugh. The fact that two grown men were hiding from Alice so they could sneak drinks and cigarettes was so ridiculous it was funny.

"I thought you quit smoking," I said as Jasper took one last look behind his shoulder before opening the cigarette case.

"He doesn't smoke cigarettes anymore," Edward answered for him as Jasper pulled what seemed to be a hand rolled cigarette from the case.

It took a few seconds for me to catch on, but as soon as that sucker was lit and I smelled it, I knew why they were so concerned with secrecy. "Are you kidding me?" I asked and waved the smoke away from me while Jasper passed the joint to Edward.

"Bella, it will help you relax," Jasper explained while Edward took a hit and nodded his head in agreement.

"So your solution to this problem is to get me stoned?" I looked between the two of them incredulously.

"Yup." Jasper leaned against the side of the garage before jumping away from it and brushing his arm off in case there had been dirt there. Dirt on his black jacket would have been a dead giveaway to Alice that Jasper had been doing something he shouldn't have.

"Bella, just give it a try," Edward persuaded me after exhaling and passing the joint back to Jasper.

_I cannot believe that I am twenty-seven years old and being peer pressured into smoking weed by my husband and my best friend's husband_, I thought to myself.

Since my dad was a cop, I had always stayed away from anything really illegal. Other than some minor underage drinking and a few speeding tickets, I was a model citizen. I knew Jasper and Edward used to smoke pot with Emmett all the time when we were all younger, but I had no idea that they still did it.

"It won't make me freak out? I mean, I won't start thinking the cabinets are trying to eat me or anything, will I?" I asked while taking the joint from Jasper.

They both laughed at me, but I ignored them while I stared at the joint in my hand.

"Baby this is weed, not acid." Edward smiled and kissed the side of my head as he pulled me closer to him. "You don't honestly think we would give you something that would make it worse than what it already is, do you?"

I knew they wouldn't. I also knew that smoking weed was probably a better choice than just drinking until I felt relaxed. I had a really bad track record while being drunk around Esme, so I figured I shouldn't push my luck with liquor today to calm my nerves.

"We won't let anything happen to you Bella." Jasper smiled, and I knew that although this was probably a horrible idea, they were only trying to help.

I took a deep breath, and with a shaking hand held the joint to my lips.

"Wait. Wait. Wait." Jasper stopped my hand and gave me a serious look.

"What?" I asked nervously.

"You can not tell Alice. I mean ever, Bella." He looked at me, his face serious, and I wanted to just laugh at how scared two grown men were of such a tiny little person. "She would kill me, and probably castrate Edward for good measure." Jasper nodded in Edward's direction.

"Probably," Edward agreed with a laugh.

I promised both of them that I wouldn't tell Alice, and I nervously took my first hit. When my lungs started burning, I choked and started coughing so hard that I was sure the neighbors two doors down could have heard me, let alone Alice or anyone else inside.

Edward patted my back as I leaned over; trying to keep myself from coughing and quite possibly even throwing up. Jasper took the still lit joint out of my hand, and after I caught my breath, I straightened back up.

I looked at both Edward and Jasper, who were staring at me with the goofiest smiles on their faces. "Well?" Jasper asked.

"I don't feel any different." I rubbed my throat when my voice came out deeper than usual. "How long does this take?"

"Bella one hit isn't going to get you high." Edward laughed. "You'll have to take another hit."

I must have made a sour face, because both of them started laughing again and then encouraging me that the second time wasn't near as bad as the first. So I took another hit, and then another, until Edward and Jasper had agreed that that would do it. We all went back inside to find Alice still ordering people around, and both Jasper and Edward were relieved that she hadn't even noticed the three of us were missing.

I followed Edward around the house, wasting the last few minutes before everyone else started showing up. He watched me, the same goofy smile on his face, and as people started arriving, he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

I didn't really feel any different, and I probably couldn't even tell you when the high actually hit me. All I knew was that one second I was standing there and everything seemed ordinary, and then the next, I realized just how happy I was to be there. The stupidest jokes seemed hysterical, and I found out that old men really _did_ appreciate it when you laughed with them and genuinely meant it.

Edward and I welcomed everyone as they arrived, and even when Esme and Carlisle walked inside, I didn't have the urge to run and hide. Carlisle pulled me into a hug as Esme tried to flatten Edward's hair, and for the first time, I realized that Carlisle smelled like hand sanitizer and peppermints. Even as he pulled away, I was still trying to inhale the smell of him. It reminded me of Christmas, and that made me happy.

"Bella you look beautiful." Esme smiled and nervously lifted her arms like she wasn't sure if I would let her hug me.

I decided that that was probably one of the nicest things Esme had ever said to me, so I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and hugged her. As I rested my chin on her shoulder, I couldn't help but wonder if maybe she smelled like Carlisle.

When I took a deep breath, I was surprised by the smell of something close to grapefruit and maybe pineapple. "Esme you smell delicious!" I smiled and let go of her.

I saw Edward and Carlisle exchange looks of confusion as Esme held my arms and just stared at me smiling at her. "Are you feeling ok?" she asked in a whisper.

I laughed and nodded, telling her that I hadn't felt this good in a long time. It was the truth, even if my attitude _had_ been helped by a little herbal refreshment.

It seemed like everyone had arrived, and a few hours later, people were dancing, playing poker, and laughing. While Edward stood there talking to a group of his parent's friends, I sighed happily and gently swung our entwined hands back and forth. I didn't have a clue what they were talking about, but I also didn't really care.

Alice and Jasper were standing close by. Jasper was having a conversation with Tanya's mother while Alice was looking around the room. When I saw her find me, I smiled and gave a little wave. Alice's eyes narrowed slightly, but I turned back to Edward before I could really tell if she had noticed anything. I had been avoiding her all night, scared that she would be able to see through my relaxed behavior and know that something was definitely up.

"I need to talk to you," I whispered, pulling on Edward's sleeve once there was a break in the conversation.

"What?" Edward asked as he looked down at me.

I looked up at him, momentarily distracted at the bright shade of green that his eyes were; I mean they were _really_ green. I couldn't help but wonder if they always looked that bright when he was stoned. I thought about it for a second before shaking my head and remembering why I wanted to talk to him.

"I think Alice knows," I said in a small whisper while nodding my head in their direction.

"Baby I think you might be a little paranoid." He smiled and kissed me quickly.

Before I could try to argue with him, we were interrupted by a loud high pitched squeal as someone ran up to us. "Bella!" Tanya yelled, and before I had a chance to even realize what she was doing, I'd been pulled into one of the most uncomfortable hugs of my life.

My nose scrunched up as the smell of her overly sweet perfume and hairspray mixed. I patted her lightly on the back as her arms squeezed my neck so tightly that it was cramming my face into her shoulder.

"Oh my goodness this party is fantastic!" she practically yelled after she let me go.

I blinked slowly as she kept talking so fast that I couldn't really understand half of what she was saying. She pulled Edward into a hug like mine, but Edward slowly pushed away from her after a few seconds. "Tanya," he said, acknowledging her with a smile. Once he let her go, he took my hand again.

"How was your flight?" I asked her once she had quit talking long enough for me to say something.

"Oh it was great! I was actually on the same flight as Edward." She smiled widely and motioned her hand in Edward's direction.

I had meant to comment about the fact that Edward hadn't mentioned their flight together, but as she kept talking and waving her hand around, my eyes caught sight of a beautiful diamond bracelet on her wrist. "That is so pretty," I whispered, taking her hand in both of mine and examining the bracelet.

The way the diamonds caught the light from overhead was absolutely breathtaking, and when I started trying to name all of the colors I could see I heard Edward laugh lightly as Tanya watched me in confusion.

"Didn't Bella plan a wonderful party?" Esme wrapped an arm around Edward's waist as she stood there smiling and looking between all of us.

Tanya had opened her mouth to say something, but Alice and Jasper had walked over and joined our group. Esme's mouth twitched as she smiled at both of them.

"Alice, Jasper, you remember Tanya." Edward nodded towards Tanya.

"Absolutely." Jasper smiled and shook her hand. "From the wedding."

Alice only smiled and looked at her.

"Jasper, you're from Texas right?" Tanya asked, ignoring the fact that Alice was standing there.

Tanya, Edward, Jasper, and Esme were all engaged in conversation while Alice simply stood there and watched me. I held on tightly to Edward's arm and looked everywhere but at her.

I started humming lightly at the music that was filtering through the house, but when I recognized the song, I felt my eyes go wide, and I started bouncing on the balls of my feet. "I love this song!" I clapped my hands and started singing along.

Jasper and Edward looked nervously at each other and then back at me while Esme and Tanya laughed lightly.

"What a beautiful singing voice," Esme said with a shrug of her shoulder, and looked at Edward as if she was hoping he could explain what I was doing.

"Hey Bella, I just remembered I need your help in the kitchen." Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me behind her. I tripped over my own feet and started giggling as Edward reached out and caught me before I could actually land on the floor.

"She's a fan of Sinatra," Jasper explained with a smile, and as Edward and Alice took me into the kitchen, I heard Jasper entertaining Tanya and Esme with his stories.

Alice walked right past the kitchen and kept going down the hallway till we reached our bedroom. She opened the door, and after Edward led me inside, she walked in and shut the door behind her.

"Okay, what the hell did you do to her?" Alice asked Edward as I sat on the edge of our bed and swung my legs back and forth slowly.

"I just gave her something to help her relax." Edward shrugged his shoulders.

The two of them bickered for a few moments before I raised my hand and waited on one of them to acknowledge me.

"What Bella?" Alice asked with a sigh.

"I am really hungry." I smiled brightly and looked at both of them.

Alice's eyes narrowed and she glared at Edward for a second before walking over to me. She leaned down, smelled my hair, and then the sleeve of my dress.

I must have mistaken her smelling as an invitation for a hug, because I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her down to me. "Alice I love you so much!" I smiled and squeezed her tighter.

As she tried to pull away from me, I smelled her hair and tried to pull her back to me. She smelled heavenly, like strawberry and apples. "Mmm, Alice you smell so good!" I held onto her hands as she finally pulled away from me. "Did you know Carlisle smells like Christmas?"

"You're stoned!" Alice leaned in and looked at my eyes before looking back at Edward. "You let her get high?" She hit his shoulder and said, "You let her get high before hanging out with your parents and their friends?"

"Ouch, Alice!" Edward took a step back, but Alice followed him.

He eventually pulled me off of the bed and held me in front of him like I was some sort of shield from Alice, but that only made her angrier.

"She was freaking out Alice," he said in a loud whisper.

"So your solution is to get her stoned?" She threw her hands in the air while glaring at him.

"It was either that, or her ending up having a panic attack or getting drunk and winding up puking on someone again!" He held me tighter against him when she took a step closer.

"No guys, really," I said, "like, I am really hungry." I ignored all of their yelling and smiled when Alice looked from Edward to me. "Really hungry."

Alice sighed, and after reaching around me and slapping Edward's head, turned around and found my purse. She dug through it until she found my wallet and keys, and then grabbed my coat and tossed it to me.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked as I squealed in excitement and rushed to put my coat on.

"There is absolutely nothing here that she will want to eat," she hissed at him, grabbing my hand. "You and Jasper can deal with the rest of the party; I'm taking Bella to get food. And when I get back, you and Jasper are going to get it!"

I kissed Edward quickly and took Alice's hand, following her back down the hall and into the kitchen. As we walked out of the side door, I told her I wanted to be in charge of the radio. She sighed as she opened the car door for me, and I happily got inside.

The ride to McDonalds was short lived thanks to Alice's need for reckless driving. As she wound her way in and out of cars, I sang happily to a mix CD I had made back in high school and ate my chicken nuggets.

"If you wanted to smoke weed Bella, you could have just told me." Alice sighed once we had stopped at a red light. I smiled lovingly at my best friend, and despite her anger at the situation, she smiled back.

"Had I know this was something you would have been interested in, I would have had you do it at my house, where I could have made sure you were safe and at least had decent snacks!" She laughed when I reached across the car and hugged her tightly.

"Alice I love you so much!" I giggled as she pushed me back into my seat after I kissed her cheek.

When we pulled into the driveway, Alice commented on the fact that several cars had left, but there were also quite a few parked out front. I got out of the car and skipped to the side door. Alice followed behind me and pulled my box of fries out of my hand before I went inside.

The house had been pretty noisy when we left, but it was nothing compared to what it was now. I followed behind Alice, waving happily at the caterers we passed.

"Oh Jesus," Alice cried, and when I looked around her shoulder, I couldn't help but laugh.

Edward was sitting at his piano playing accompaniment to Carlisle, who was leaning against the piano, his tie undone and a glass of amber liquid in his hand. Together, the two of them were butchering one of Frank Sinatra's most popular songs.

Esme was standing on the edge of the crowd looking both entertained and mortified. Along with several other women, Esme clapped along, and when Carlisle pulled his tie off from around his neck and tossed it to her, she started giggling like a fifteen year old girl.

"Alice!" A muttered yelp came from the middle of the throng of people watching Carlisle and Edward's impromptu karaoke session.

Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me behind her as she pushed her way through the crowd. I bumped into her back when she abruptly stopped, and I couldn't stop the obnoxious laugh that came out of my mouth.

Jasper was sitting at one of the poker tables, his face covered in bright red lipstick marks, looking thoroughly harassed by the group of women sitting around him. He looked helplessly up at Alice, who only shook her head and muttered something about getting what he deserved. "Alice!" he called again when she started to walk away.

The older woman sitting on his lap turned back to look at him and said, "No son, my name is Eleanor. Not Alice."

Alice grabbed my hand again, and before she turned around, she told Jasper, "The theme of the party is 'everyone gets lucky,' Jasper. Good luck."

I wished Jasper the best of luck also, and followed Alice back through the crowd. I skipped past her, and when I sat down next to Edward at his piano, I couldn't really remember why I had been so anxious earlier. But I did know for a fact that after everyone left, I was going to make Edward take me back to McDonalds, and maybe even Taco Bell. I was still starving, and thirsty as hell.

**Almost 8,000 words as a way to say "I'm sorry for the slow update!" Thanks to everyone who is reading, recommending, and reviewing!! Also, thanks to everyone who nominated THO for a twific award!! You guys are awesome.**

**Thanks as always to Di and Mel, I couldn't do it without you. Also, thanks to Ally and Paige for your expertise in... well you know.  
**


	18. Broken

**For all of those wondering WTF happened to cause the big fight…..here ya go! Thanks for sticking with me!**

To say that Esme and I had made leaps and bounds in our relationship was an understatement. I still didn't fully trust her, but I had to admit that over the past few months she had really proven the fact that she was at least trying to not be a crazy ass bitch.

With Edward still out of town, she had started asking me out to dinner with her and Carlisle. She would call before coming by the house, and had even offered to take Alice and me to the spa with her. Although I had to decline the offer, I couldn't deny that she was trying.

Edward had been given a long weekend off for Easter, and when Carlisle and Esme had found out, they invited us to go with them to Mexico for a "family get away." In my family, our "get aways" included camping or hiking. The fact that Carlisle and Esme had easily dropped a few grand to take the four of us to Mexico for the weekend had blown my mind. But I went and I loved it.

An escape from all of the rain that Seattle offered was just what we needed. I spent the day lying on a beach enjoying the sunshine and lathering myself in the highest SPF I could find, while Edward tried to convince me to scuba dive, or at least wade in the ocean. Unfortunately for him, my innate fear of the ocean won out, and he ended up relying on his father for most of his water activities.

Surprisingly, Esme had no rude comments on my choice of swimwear or the clothes I had taken with me. She let Edward and I have our own space, and even when she had found the humiliating Easter present Edward had given me, she kept her mouth shut.

We were about to go to dinner one night when Edward handed me a rectangular box wrapped in pale purple paper with a matching bow. I had curiously turned the box over in my hands until he explained it was from the Easter Bunny. When I opened it, expecting maybe a chocolate bunny, I was shocked to find a Rabbit – only this one wasn't fluffy. It was the kind that was labeled as a "personal massager."

He thought it was hilarious, and although it might have been a little sacrilegious to give someone a vibrator for Easter, I had to admit that it was funny.

When Esme had come over to get us for dinner, I had completely forgotten about the present laying on the bed. When her eyes landed on it, she only turned around and acted like hadn't seen anything. Her cheerful demeanor never changed, and I was pleasantly surprised.

When we had returned from Mexico two weeks ago, well rested and sun kissed, we were ready for Emmett and Rosalie's wedding. Edward had gotten home last night from Portland, and I hoped he wouldn't have to go back to for a while. The building plans were finally finished, and the only thing he would have to go back for would be the grand opening party in a few months.

Thursday morning before the wedding, Edward was rushing to make it to work on time while I was trying to make a list of all the shit I had to get done during the day. I had taken the rest of the week off to be able to help Rosalie however I could, which so far had just been me acting like a pack mule and picking up decorations, dresses, and wedding favors.

Today, I had to add lunch with Esme and Tanya to my list. We were supposed to be planning some sort of fundraiser for the new library wing that was being opened in a few weeks, and for the first time, they were helping out with a cause I actually believed in.

"Are you working a full day?" I asked while digging all of Edward's dress shirts out of his discarded suitcase so that I could take them to the dry cleaners.

"I doubt it. I pretty much have everything finished, and I'm off tomorrow," he said distractedly while turning around in a circle. "Where the hell is my belt?"

I picked his belt up off the floor where I had thrown it last night and handed it to him. He muttered a "thank you" while putting it on.

"If you are taking those to the dry cleaner, will you ask them to fix the button on that blue one?" He nodded his head towards the stack of clothes I'd piled in the middle of the bed.

"You lost a button?" I picked the shirt up, and sure enough one of the top buttons was missing. I tossed the shirt back over towards his suitcase and said, "Yeah I will see if they can fix it."

Edward hurriedly kissed my check while I shoved all of the clothes into a bag.

"Bye!" I called as he left the bedroom, his hands full of his suit jacket, coffee cup and briefcase. He yelled a "good-bye" back to me and I smiled.

I really hoped that after this weekend our lives would slow down. I missed the lazy weekends we had that consisted of nothing more than watching TV and taking naps. I turned around to find my purse and get ready to leave when I saw Edward walking back in the bedroom.

"Did you forget…" I started to ask, but was stopped by his lips meeting mine as he leaned down to pull me into a kiss. I smiled, kissing him back.

"I love you," he said with his crooked smile on his face before giving me another kiss and letting me go.

"Love you too," I called after him, and laughed as he ran back through the house and out to his car, and I soon followed behind him.

I spent the morning picking up my bridesmaids dress and Edward's tuxedo, carefully placing them into the back of my car, which was already filled with my brother's wedding present from Rosalie, a new set of custom golf clubs.

I sped home, taking the dress and tux back inside so that neither one of them would get wrinkled. By the time I made it to the restaurant, Esme and Tanya were already inside. "I'm so sorry I'm late," I said quietly as I slid into the chair across from both of them.

"Oh honey, don't worry about it!" Esme smiled and reached across the table to take my hand.

I smiled and nodded as Tanya began talking about something as I mentally counted the number of empty glasses sitting on the table. I couldn't help but wonder how long the two of them had been sitting here. Hopefully if a designated driver was needed they wouldn't mind calling for a cab. I supported not drinking and driving, but I didn't have time to haul their asses around today.

Lunch was surprisingly enjoyable. We actually accomplished quite a bit, and by the time the waiter dropped off the check, I was finishing my tea and listening to amusing stories about Edward's antics as a teenager. Thankfully none of them had involved Tanya or Edward in any situations that weren't G rated.

"Oh God Bella, you have got to be the most patient person in the world to live Edward on a daily basis." Tanya laughed while dabbing her eyes daintily with her napkin. "When I lived with him, it was like a constant battle to try and get him to pick his things up."

Esme laughed and nodded along, but the smile I had been wearing since I arrived slowly slid off my face. I'd been toying with my wedding ring, but suddenly tensed, and while everything else around me seemed to stop, my heart rate increased.

"You lived with Edward?" I asked quietly, hoping that maybe I'd heard her wrong. If Edward had ever lived with Tanya, I would have known about it. Edward and I had been together since we were eighteen, and unless it had been for the few months we'd broken up, I didn't see how any of this could be true.

"Oh that's right, you weren't supposed to know about that." Tanya smiled and covered her mouth. After a few seconds, she shrugged her shoulders, leaned across the table, and whispered "Don't tell Edward I told you."

I tried to listen as Esme and Tanya talked about their previous living arrangements, but all I could really concentrate on was trying not to start crying or reach across the table and beat the shit out of Tanya. It was a tossup as far as which one I wanted to do more.

I kept reminding myself that I didn't know the whole story, but then I would remember how Edward had gotten so fucking pissed off at me for getting a ride home from Mike Newton even though nothing had happened, and got infuriated all over again. It was obviously okay for him to have his ex-girlfriend fucking live with him and then hide it from me for years, but for me to get a ride home meant I had "lowered my standards."

_Well fuck him! And fuck Tanya!_

"He was so miserable Bella, like a little lost puppy." Tanya smiled while patting my hand.

I looked at Tanya, really looked at her, and behind that fake smile of hers loomed a whole lot of smugness. I wondered how long she had been planning this – holding onto this valuable piece of information until she knew it would have the maximum benefit when she finally told me.

It made me feel foolish and extremely naïve, that for the better part of almost three years I had been the only person not to know about this. The corner of my eyes started watering as I wondered if Alice had known. I wanted to believe that if she _had_ known, she would have told me.

I wanted to get up, to leave and call Edward and have him tell me that every bit of this was a lie, or some cruel joke that Esme and Tanya were playing on me, but for the life of me I could not make myself get up out of that chair.

Esme excused herself to go to the bathroom, leaving me with Tanya and my self control wavering. "I sure have enjoyed getting to spend time with Edward these past few months. It has brought back so many memories," Tanya said after smiling cruelly at me.

"What?" I asked louder than I meant to. The busy restaurant stopped at the sound of my voice, and although I felt every single set of eyes in the place on me, I didn't care.

"Oh you didn't know?" She leaned back in her chair, her perfect hands folded in her lap. "Edward and I have been spending lots of time together while he's in Portland. Poor guy gets lonely."

I felt the blood rushing to my face, and as hard as I tried to hold them back, the tears slowly started falling down my face.

"I really can't wait till the next project starts next month. I offered to let Edward stay with me, but he said it would 'look better' if he got a hotel room. Keeping up appearances you know." She took another drink out of her glass and I had finally reached the point that I had to do something.

I was either going to have to beat the shit out of Tanya right here, drive to Edward's office and beat the shit out of him, or act like an adult and calmly get up and leave.

I slowly got up, and while I tried to remember to breath, I grabbed my purse. "Oh Bella, if you're leaving, would you mind giving this back to Edward?" Tanya asked, and against my better judgment, I looked at her.

She was digging through her purse, and for a few seconds I was confused as to what Edward could have possibly left that would fit in her wallet. When she pulled out a small white button, I felt my heart sink into my stomach.

"He lost this the other night." She set the button on the table and looked up at me.

It took everything I had to control the sobs that were building in my chest as I watched how utterly satisfied Tanya seemed. After years of putting up with constant emotional abuse from both her and Esme, I had finally reached the point that I couldn't take any more.

I nodded my head slowly as I reached down and picked the small button up off the table. I closed my hand tightly around it before looking back at her. "You win," I said in a voice that was hardly above a whisper. I knew she'd heard me when her smug look on her face turned into a wicked smile.

With that, I turned around and left that damn restaurant as fast as I could. The second I heard the door shut behind me, I pulled my sunglasses down over my eyes and let the tears that I had been holding back spill over.

I got in my car, and as much as I wanted to keep it together until I could at least break down in the comfort of my own home, I couldn't stop my whole body from shaking at the realization that my life would never be the same.

With fumbling hands I pulled my cell phone out, and when Alice answered, all I could do was tell her where I was in a sobbing voice and beg her to come and get me. Without even asking what was going on, she agreed, and I sat there crying until I saw Jasper's truck pull into the parking spot next to mine.

They both got out of the truck, and when Jasper cautiously opened my door I tried to smile, but it was like my body couldn't remember how.

"Bella?" He kneeled down next to my car and with a steady hand he slowly pried my fingers off of the steering wheel. "Did someone hurt you?" he asked quietly, and I shook my head no. No one had physically hurt me anyway.

"Do you need to go to a hospital?" Alice asked nervously as she watched us with anxious eyes. Again I shook my head no.

"Let's just get you home," Jasper said, and I let him help me out of the car. Numbly, I got into the passenger seat of his truck.

"I'll call Edward," Alice told me; obviously thinking that it would reassure me. When I started sobbing even harder, she looked at Jasper wondering what the hell was going on.

"Just please take me home," I begged both of them.

"I'll drive Bella's car, you take her." Jasper handed Alice the keys, and after pulling the seat belt around me, he shut the door and Alice walked around to the driver's side.

I felt her watching me as she drove us back to my house, but I couldn't do more than stare out at the passing scenery and wonder what I was going to do. Like I did with everything else, I began mentally making a list of things I would need to figure out – the most important being how I was going to handle discussing this with Edward.

Not once in our entire relationship did I ever believe that Edward was capable of cheating on me, but the evidence was clearly pointing to the fact that he had. My heart ached as I put it all together: The late flights home that he just happened to share with Tanya and accidentally forgot to tell me about. All of the missed phone calls where I would try to call him and no one would answer. It all fit. My fist tightened around the small offensive button, and I knew that was the fucking nail in the coffin.

When the thoughts of having to pack all of my stuff and deciding how to divide everything that we had accumulated together filled my mind, I shook my head. There was no way I could handle all of this. Would I have to move? Knowing Edward, he'd probably try to do the "right thing" and let me stay there. But there was no way I could live in that house by myself; I doubted I could even live there with a roommate. The thought of living with someone else reminded me of something I needed to ask Alice.

"Did you know Tanya lived with Edward?" I asked her, my voice thick from all of the tears that were still streaming down my cheeks.

"No," she said quietly before coming to a stop in front of our house. "Bella, what the hell is going on?"

I nodded my head for a few seconds, and after taking a deep breath, I told Alice what had happened at lunch. I explained how all of this bullshit just fit perfectly together, and through everything, she held my hand and listened. When I was finished, she pulled her phone out of her purse and started dialing.

"Who are you calling?" I asked franticly, scared to death that she was calling Edward.

"I have connections Bella; I can have this whole problem taken care of in a day or two," she said snidely.

I pulled the phone out of her hand and shook my head. "You cannot hire someone to kill Edward _or _Tanya." I had to laugh in spite of the circumstances that surrounded me. "Just let me talk to Edward and figure out what the hell I'm going to do."

"Do you want me to come inside with you?" she asked, and I knew she was probably concerned that I might try to stick my head in the oven.

I shook my head, and after promising her I would call her if I needed something, I went inside. I watched as Alice waited for Jasper to get in the truck, and both of them gave me a look of concern before driving away.

The second I shut the door, I wished I had taken Alice up on her offer. The house was entirely too quiet, and the fact that I couldn't look at one thing without thinking about Edward made me sick to my stomach.

Once in our bedroom, I looked at the bed and the tears started all over again. Something that had once been a source of immense comfort and always reminded me so much how 'at home' I felt with Edward now made me want to scream.

With absolutely no energy left, I fell to the floor in front of our bed. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to find the comfort that I needed so badly. The tighter I held onto myself, the safer I felt.

I cried, letting the anger, frustration, and utter humiliation escape my body in agonizing sobs. I screamed at everything and nothing, trying to make sense of the fact that the last three years of my life were a total lie.

Even if Edward had lived with Tanya while we were broken up, he'd hidden it from me. And now, with that seed of doubt planted in my mind, I couldn't help but wonder if Edward _had_ been seeing Tanya ever since we got back together. The thought of the two of them together made my stomach roll, and I quickly scrambled off of the floor and ran into the bathroom with only seconds to spare.

Leaning over the sink, I cried as my body purged itself. With each heave, it was like my heart was being ripped open and another mental image of the two of them together crept into the hole that was made.

I wondered if he told her that he loved her with the same soft whispers that he did with me. I wondered if his touches were soft and lingering with her. All of my wondering left my weak and defeated body leaning on the counter of our bathroom, and I couldn't do anything but pray that I was wrong, but prepared myself for the heartache that I knew was going to be my constant companion.

Eventually numbness took my body over, and I was able to wash my face gently with a cool washrag. By the time I heard Edward open and shut the door, I was sitting on the edge of our bed staring out the window and preparing myself for a conversation I had never wanted to have.

I heard him whistling as he opened the refrigerator. His cheerfulness made my skin crawl, and I took a deep breath to keep myself from throwing up again.

I heard his footsteps moving down the hallway and fisted my hands in the comforter beside me.

"Bella?" he asked from the doorway behind me. When I didn't answer, he walked cautiously around the bed until he was standing in front of me. He kneeled down, his eyes full of concern when they found mine.

I resisted the urge to push him away from me, and when his hand held my elbow gently, I jumped at the touch of his skin against mine.

"What happened?" he asked quietly while he looked me over. "Did someone die?"

I looked at him, my heart breaking and my mind racing, but forced myself to ask the question I didn't want to know the answer to.

"Are you cheating on me?" I asked in a horse whisper while my throat burned. I tightened my grip on the comforter, preparing myself for whatever he might tell me.

His eyes seemed to change color immediately, turning into a dark green. The crease between his eyes became more prominent, and he shook his head like he was trying to understand what I was asking. "What?" he asked me.

"Are you cheating on me?" I asked him again, this time slower.

He stood back up and shook his head. "Why the hell would you ask me that? Of course I'm not cheating on you Bella," he told me, but the fact that his tone of voice sounded irritated and annoyed only made me more furious.

I watched him pull his jacket off and throw it on the chair in the corner, on top of the blue shirt that had a missing button.

"Is this more of jealously issue you seem to have with Tanya?" He put his hands on his hips and looked at me.

"Jealousy issue?" I laughed bitterly and said, "If that's what you want to call this Edward, then maybe I should go do something to give you a reason to have so many jealously issues with Jacob Black!"

"Bella, stop it," he practically growled at me, and the fact that I knew I was making him upset made me feel marginally better.

"Or maybe Mike Newton? We both know how fucking pissed off you got last time!" I crossed my arms across my chest and glared at him.

"Bella, I am warning you to stop, now!" His jaw clinched and he started pacing back and forth.

"Did Tanya live with you while we were broken up?" I turned around on the bed and watched him. When he stopped mid step and looked at me, I knew everything I needed to. All of the color drained from his face, and his eyes were as wide as saucers.

"Who told you that?" he asked me in a quiet voice.

"It doesn't matter who fucking told me Edward, because the point is that _you_ should have told me three fucking years ago!" I screamed at him as I pushed myself off of the bed.

"We weren't even together Bella!" he screamed back at me while pulling his tie away from his neck. "I am so tired of this jealous bullshit that you have with Tanya! We dated in high school, and yeah I fucked her, but get over it already! It was before we even met!

Before I could stop myself, I reared back and slapped him as hard as I could across the face. My tears had started falling again, and in eerie stillness, Edward and I look stood there looking at each other.

"I think you need to leave," I said with a shaky voice as sobs were once again building in my chest.

Edward tried to reach out for me, but I stepped away from him and again told him to leave.

"Bella please don't do this…" He looked at me, his eyes begging me to let him stay.

I shook my head, and after wiping my eyes roughly on my sleeve, I pulled my wedding ring off of my hand and set it down on the dresser next to the button Tanya had given me.

I looked back at Edward, and as much as it hurt to see the heartbreak that covered his face, I made myself say what I needed to say. "You need to leave Edward." I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. "Now."

With that, I turned around and walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I slid down the back of the door, pulling my knees to my chest, and started rocking myself slowly. I hummed to drown out the noise of Edward pleading for me to open the door, and when his quiet knocking turned into loud banging, I held my hands over my ears and tried to keep myself from throwing up again. Eventually, the sound of him screaming for me to open the door turned into a frenzy of things being pulled out of drawers, and then, everything became silent.

I laid on the floor, letting the cool tile soothe my burning cheeks and wondering how I was ever going to move past this. My life without Edward didn't make sense, and the idea of leaving behind the life that the both of us had so carefully created made me mourn for the things that we could have had.

When the image of a child with bright green eyes and soft brown curls filled my mind, I pushed myself off of the floor. I was broken mentally and physically, and I doubted that there was ever going to be a way to put the pieces of my heart or our lives back together.

**A/N**

"**I'm falling apart. I'm barely breathing."**

"**You have broken me, all the way down."**

**Those two lyrics are pretty much what inspired the next few chapters. I know you are all anxious to know what happens, but updates will be more frequent. I won't leave you hanging too long. I promise.**

**Thanks to Di and Mel as always!**


	19. Explanations

**Told you guys I wouldn't make you wait long.**

**[EPOV]**

Emmett let me go, and although I knew they all meant well, it pissed me off that every single one of Bella's friends was here with me and not lined up ready to take care of her. I appreciated the support, but she needed them a hell of a lot more than I did.

"Why aren't you with Bella?" I asked Alice, surprised that she wasn't at my house this very moment shoving chocolate ice cream down Bella's throat and watching cheesy movies from the eighties with her.

"I tried to get her to let me come over, but she didn't want anyone to be there. I went by and took her some dinner though," she explained as she sat next to Jasper.

Of course she wouldn't. She would want to suffer by herself because she simply won't let people take care of her. Bella would probably spend the entire night crying, and the thought of that made me want to strangle Tanya.

Asking Alice what the hell had happened today while they were at lunch had been a mistake. The more I listened to her explain the lies that Tanya had told Bella, the more irate I became. Not only had Tanya practically begged me to get Bella to agree to be on the fundraising committee for the new Library wing, she had done it all under the disguise of "wanting to be friends."

"I have not fucking slept with Tanya since I was eighteen, the night before we left for school. And it was with an understanding that it would be the last time." I shook my head at how absolutely out of hand all of this had gotten.

"So if you didn't sleep with Tanya then why the fuck did she have the button from your shirt?" Alice asked, and although I hated her bluntness, I really couldn't blame her. Bella was her best friend, and there was a whole lot of evidence that suggested I'd been fooling around.

I ran my hands through my hair as I paced back and forth in front of them, trying to figure out where to begin.

"I've been working my ass off in Portland," I started, "and anybody would agree that working twelve hours a day and not having any social contact with anyone other than your coworkers takes its toll. So when Tanya heard from my mother that I'd be in town, she invited me to dinner.

"We had dinner, caught up, and that was it. After dinner, I walked her out to her car to make sure she left okay. When I hugged her goodbye, one of the buttons on my shirt got caught on her gaudy necklace, and it popped off. There were no secret meetings, and I've never hidden anything from Bella, ever."

"So Tanya didn't live with you after you broke up?" Angela asked, and both Jasper and Ben shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

"Jasper Whitlock!" Alice hit his shoulder, and I gave both of my friends a pathetic excuse for an apologetic smile. Both of them had promised me they wouldn't ever tell anyone, and up until this point, they obviously hadn't.

"He asked me not to tell anyone!" Jasper defended himself, but Alice only shook her head. "I didn't even know it was an issue until today."

"So you and Tanya got back together when you weren't with Bella, and you never slept together?" Emmett asked incredulously.

"Not everyone sleeps with anything that breathes Emmett!" Alice yelled at him before turning to Rosalie and apologizing. "Sorry Rose, I obviously was not referring to you."

"Oh it's fine." She smiled and patted Emmett's leg while he glared at Alice.

"We didn't get back together, and I haven't been in a relationship with Tanya since our last semester of high school," I explained warily.

"So she didn't live with you?" Rosalie asked, looking confused, just like everyone else.

"She never lived with me; she just stayed with me for a few weeks. Nothing ever happened; we slept in separate rooms for God's sake." I rubbed my eyes roughly.

"Nothing?" Alice asked smugly, and I knew better than to even try to hide this from her.

"Okay, we kissed once, and yes I did kiss her back, but there was nothing there. There were no feelings there other than the absolute frustration that the person I actually wanted to kiss wasn't speaking to me!" I threw myself into a chair and shook my head.

Alice only looked at me.

"Alice, I swear to God. That's the truth." I met her stare and hoped to God she believed me.

"Why would you even agree to let her stay with you knowing full well that Bella has always had a bit of a jealous streak about her? You cannot honestly be that stupid," Alice said.

I hung my head, and for the first time since this whole shit began, I felt like a fucking moron. I tried to think of a way to explain this without making myself sound like an immature asshole, but there was no way, besides the truth.

"I got jealous at Jasper's birthday party when Bella left with Mike," I mumbled.

"Edward, for such a smart guy, you are a genuine idiot." Alice shook her head, and I couldn't argue with her. I _was_ an idiot. "Bella has never even kissed Mike Newton. He drove her home and that's it."

"I know." I rubbed my forehead and sighed.

A week after the party, I'd been trying to get away from Tanya and her incessant clinging, so I went to Bella's apartment. Although I knew it was a huge fucking mistake, I went over there to make Bella feel like shit in an attempt to make myself feel better.

I wanted to blame her in order to justify my stupidity and jealously. So I showed up at her door – and acting like the drunken asshole on a four day bender that I was, basically belittled the shit out of her. I said things that day that I will _never_ forgive myself for saying. Bella swore to me nothing happened with Mike, and when I didn't believe her, she called him and made him tell me himself.

I threatened Mike Newton within an inch of his life that day. I told him that if he ever touched Bella again, I'd kill him. I handed Bella back the phone and left her standing in her living room hurt, crying, and confused.

After the whole misguided kissing attempt, I knew that I had to get Bella back, and after taking Jasper's advice, I went back to her apartment and profusely apologized. That was the first step, and the steps that followed eventually led to the two of us getting married. I would be damned if I was going to let a stupid bitch like Tanya end this.

I sat there frustrated and angry, listening to the comforting words from my friends and hoping like hell that they were right – that everything would work out in the end. I turned my cell phone over in my hand, fighting the urge to text Bella to at least make sure she was alright. But I knew that shit would only piss her off more.

Emmett and Rosalie eventually had to leave, and it wasn't until he mentioned the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night that I even realized their wedding was this weekend. I felt like the biggest ass for putting the two of them in the middle of this during one of the most important times of their lives.

I smiled at the memory of Bella making me swear that I wouldn't pick a fight with Jacob, promising her that I would basically be on my best behavior. It was probably not even going to be an issue this weekend because of how absolutely awkward everything else was going to be.

After Ben and Angela left, Alice, Jasper, and I sat around in a silence that was uncomfortable as hell. I hated just sitting here, not being able to do a damn thing to fix the fucking mess I had made for myself. Deciding that anything was better than just sitting around, I pushed myself out of the chair and headed for the front door.

"Where are you going?" Alice followed behind me and Jasper behind her.

"I can't just sit here, Alice. I have to at least drive by and make sure her car is there or that… I don't know… make sure that the house isn't burnt to the ground," I answered without stopping.

"Well I am going with you." She followed me outside, and when I stopped to argue with her. I decided that it wasn't worth it. She would end up lying across the hood of my car refusing to let me leave if I told her no.

So with Alice in the back and Jasper in the passenger seat, I slowly drove past my house. None of the lights were on, except the one close to the back of the house – our bedroom.

"Maybe she's sleeping," Jasper offered, trying to be helpful. As nice as it sounded, I knew it wasn't true. She was in there crying, and it absolutely broke my heart that I couldn't comfort her.

"So what did you say when Bella asked you what was going on?" Alice asked, her elbows resting on the console between the two front seats.

"I got mad, and probably made the situation a hell of a lot worse," I said. I parked across the street, and while Alice chastised me for thinking with my dick instead of my head, I only partially listened.

Without thinking, I got out of the car and quietly shut the car in Alice's face, and she asked me what the hell I was doing. I honestly didn't know, but as I walked across the street, I realized how fucking ridiculous it was that I was actually stalking my own house.

"Edward," Alice called quietly behind me, and Jasper and I both shushed her. "Don't you start Jasper Austin Whitlock; I am still mad that you knew about this and never told me," she whispered back to him harshly.

"Alice, you will eventually get over it. I'm sure there's a shit load of information about Bella that you'll never share with me, and I'm positive I'll survive without it," Jasper told her, and for the first time, Alice Brandon-Whitlock was left speechless.

She sulked, following behind me but not saying a word until I started to unlock the back gate. "Edward, what are you going to do? Look in the windows? If Bella finds you, she'll be even more pissed off than she is right now," she whispered behind me, but I ignored her warnings.

"Alice, I just need to make sure she's okay."

"Well she isn't okay Edward. And I'm sure that whatever it is you think you're going to see in that window will only make you feel worse." She grabbed my hand and Jasper quietly agreed with her.

I should have listened, because Alice and Jasper were both right. When I looked in our bedroom window and saw Bella broken and sobbing on our bed, it only made the whole fucking situation worse. It made me ache to the point that I felt a sharp pain in my chest.

I wanted to touch her and tell her everything was fine, that all of this was one big fucking misunderstanding. I wanted to pull her close to me and rub her back until the crying stopped and she fell asleep. But all I could do was walk away and pray that if there was a God, he'd fix this before it was too late. We drove back to their house in complete silence.

"We need a plan," Alice said, sitting next to me on the bed in their guestroom. "You need to do something to fix this."

"I don't see what the fuck I can do Alice. She won't even talk to me," I said sadly and shook my head.

In the past, I'd always won Bella over with big, over the top productions. Although it had worked in the past, I seriously doubted that enlisting Jasper and Emmett to help me serenade her at the rehearsal dinner or wedding reception was going to do anything more than piss her off even more.

My phone kept ringing, and each time it would go off, I'd have a split second of hope that it was Bella before it was crushed by the fact that it was one of my parents. I point blank refused to talk to my mother until I figured out what part she had played in this whole thing. When I'd spoken to my father earlier, I'd given him a brief explanation of what had happened before telling him I'd talk to him later. But I doubted that it was him that kept calling, therefore, I refused to answer.

"Maybe you should let me talk to her." Alice smiled happily and put her hand out for my phone when it started ringing again.

As pissed as I was at my mother, even _she_ didn't deserve the wrath of Alice right now.

"How about you help me think of a plan?" I moved my phone further away from her, and for the next four hours, Alice and I sat there, trying to figure out a way to make Bella listen to me. It was a long shot, but I had to at least hope for the best.

By the next morning a plan was devised, and as if on schedule, I got a text message from Alice telling me to call Bella's cell phone. Shaking so hard that I almost dropped the phone, I dialed her number, and as it rang, I watched the front of the house from where I was parked across the street.

When Alice answered, I took a deep breath and hoped that this would work. I nervously tapped my fingers against the steering wheel while Alice put me on hold until I heard the phone click back over. "Edward…" Bella's voice answered, and as relieved as I was to hear her voice, I felt worse about the fact that she sounded horrible.

"Are you okay?" I asked without thinking, and immediately wished I hadn't. Obviously she would not be okay.

She was silent for a second before responding with a flat "no."

"I know. I'm sorry. That was a stupid question," I said hurriedly, and again wanted to kick myself for wasting time talking about this shit. I had no idea how long she would be willing to talk, and I didn't want to waste it on this.

I opened my mouth to say something but she started talking first. "I know you need to come by and get your clothes, so I'll leave for a while and you can come over." Her voice was very short and business like.

"You don't have to leave, Bella," I tried to reason with her, but she cut me off.

"Give me ten minutes and I'll be out of your way," she said curtly, and before I could respond, she hung up.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck," I yelled angrily as I threw my phone in the passenger seat. Although this was exactly what we'd wanted – for her to give me the green light to come by – I'd really hoped she would at least agree to be there when I did. If she wasn't going to make this easy then I would just have to improvise.

I got out of my car, and after looking both ways, tried not to run in a full sprint up to the front door. I had to stay calm and give Bella the chance to be mad, just like Alice said to. I probably should have rung the doorbell or knocked, because when I opened the front door, I collided with Bella as she walked outside.

Instinctively, I reached out to grab her. I wasn't trying to be pushy, but when you've been with someone who is accident prone, you tend to have cat-like reflexes about shit like this.

The feeling of having her back in my arms gave me a fleeting moment of relief, but it was short lived. She pushed herself away from me and crossed her arms across her chest. After sighing, she tried to step around me and I couldn't help but try and stop her. "Bella please, just give me a second to talk to you about this." I held her arm tightly, willing her to at least look at me.

"Edward I don't want to talk to you," she said weakly, pulling her arm out of my grasp while keeping her gaze fixed on the floor.

"Maybe I should leave you two alone to talk," Alice said in a very small voice as she tried to step around both of us.

"No, I'm not staying to talk to him," Bella insisted, but again, I moved in front of her when she tried to leave.

"Bella, please, I didn't sleep at all last night because I was up trying to figure out how to fix this…"

Her head snapped up and her eyes glared at me in a way I had never seen before, though I'd seen Bella pissed off at me several times.

"Well I am _so_ fucking sorry that your mom isn't taking good enough care of you," she snarled, and for the second time pulled her arm away from me.

"Why the fuck would you think I'd be staying at my parent's house? Do you really think I'd be okay with the fact that she did this to you?" I asked her, and when she heard the anger in my voice directed towards my mother, her face softened minutely.

"Well then where are you staying?" she asked, and without even thinking, I told her I'd stayed with Alice and Jasper.

Bella's mouth fell open and she turned around to look at her best friend. Alice held her hands up and immediately begged Bella to at least listen to her. "Bella, this is all one big misunderstanding. You have got to listen to Edward," Alice said, but Bella pulled away from both of us and retreated through the dining room and into the kitchen.

I followed her, rushing past Alice, and begged Bella to stop and at least give me ten minutes.

"STOP!" Bella screamed, and both Alice and I came to an abrupt halt.

I looked nervously at Alice when Bella started taking deep breaths and closed her eyes. After taking a moment to recollect and calm down, she opened her eyes and started glaring at me again. "I am leaving, and I do not want to argue about that anymore. I don't want you to be a burden to Alice, so you can stay here. I'll get a hotel room."

I started to tell her I would go to a hotel, but she cut me off.

"I'll have someone come by later to get my things. Your suit for tonight is hanging in the closet next to your tuxedo. Do _not_ make a scene tonight at this rehearsal dinner. I swear to God Edward, if you have some sort of grand gesture planned to try and fix this I will kill you. This weekend is about Rosalie and Emmett, so we will just have to make this work and figure out what the hell we are going to do after it is over."

She angrily wiped the tears that were streaming down her cheeks before turning to Alice. "I need some time to be by myself, so please just… leave me alone." Bella sighed heavily, and with that, left Alice and me standing in the kitchen watching her retreating back.

Alice immediately broke down in sobs, and although I knew I shouldn't have, I ran out the door and down the driveway after Bella's car. She ignored me, and before I could even attempt to stop her, she was already driving down the street, leaving me standing in the middle of it, yelling and begging for her to come back.

I knew she wouldn't, and when I saw her car turn the corner, I slowly walked back to my car and got in. Numbly, I drove to the one person besides Bella that I even remotely had any interest in talking to.

When I pulled into a parking space at the hospital, I slammed my car door and stalked angrily inside. I ignored the nurses and physicians that greeted me, and when I reached the door to my father's office, I knocked. When a muted "Come in," came from the other side of the door, I walked through it and sat in the chair placed in front of his desk.

I looked at my father, and without any hesitation I told him the truth. "I don't know what to do," I said, and as soon as the words left my mouth, I felt my eyes start to water. I didn't try to stop the tears from falling. Instead, I looked up at my father and silently begged him to tell me how to fix this.

Without saying a word, he pushed away from his desk and walked towards me. I stood up, and as soon as he pulled me into a hug, I couldn't help but grab the back of his shirt and take refuge in the small comfort that my father was offering me. I didn't care that I was clinging to him like a five year old would, or that my silent tears turned into full blown sobs. He held onto me until I eventually stopped crying because it was what I needed.

"You were right…" I said in a rough voice after wiping my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt.

"About what?" he asked me. He sat back on the edge of his desk and looked down, waiting for my answer.

"I should have told Bella about when Tanya stayed with me. She might have been mad at the time, but there's no way it would've been as bad as it is now." I sighed and looked up at him.

He nodded his head in the stoic manner that he always did when he was thinking something over before he said, "Edward, what Tanya did was inexcusable, and though it might seem impossible to move past, this is not the end." He smiled kindly, and as much as I wanted to believe him, I couldn't.

When I sighed heavily he moved to sit in the chair next to me. "Edward, you've excelled at everything you have ever done," he said in a soft voice.

Though I knew he was trying to make me feel better, listing my accolades wasn't something I wanted or needed right now.

"My point is that I've never seen you give up on anything, and I don't understand why you would give up on Bella." He moved my hand away from my face and made me look at him.

"I'm not giving up dad, but when she won't even talk to me I can't figure out how to fix this!" I leaned back and shook my head.

"You'll find a way to get her to listen to you. Be patient, and I know you'll find a way." He gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

I took what he said to heart, and I knew he was probably right, but I'd never been good at being patient. I wanted this fixed now. I wanted to go back my house and have Bella welcome me home. I wanted to hug her and kiss her and make up for all of the bullshit I'd put her through; the years of shit she had taken from my mother, and now all of this. Even if I lived to be a hundred years old, I feared I'd never be able to make up for all of this.

"How are you able to even be around Mom?" I asked my father bluntly.

He looked at me for a moment before getting up and walking back around his desk to his chair. I watched as he slowly lowered himself into it and waited for an answer.

"Edward, your mother has several faults, but so do I." He leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers in front of him. "When I said 'for better or worse,' I meant it."

I nodded, and after a few moments, decided to let him get back to work. He gave me another hug before I left, and as I drove back home, I couldn't help but be a little grateful that Bella would at least be in the same room as I was tonight.

It was a start.

**We are getting to the end of The Honeymoons Over, and I have to tell you guys it is bitter sweet. Thanks for all of the reviews and I really hope these next few chapters live up to your expectations. Thanks as always to Di for being the best Beta and being one of the best friend friends a girl could ever ask for. Again, I promise I won't keep you waiting too long for an update.**

"**I don't want us to fall apart today or ever. You're the one who said you'd never leave. There's no good reason for giving up. All this mess is just bad luck. So please don't lose your confidence in me.**

**I wish I wasn't so fragile cause I know that I'm not easy to handle. **

**Oh baby please don't forget you love me, don't forget you love me today." - Fall Apart Today- Schuyler Fisk**


	20. Bitter Memories

"**Don't know what to do anymore; I've lost the only love worth fighting for. I'll drown in my tear storming sea. That would show you that would make you hurt like me…" "I'm ill with the thought of your kiss, coffee laced, intoxicating on her lips…" -Ashes and Wine- A Fine Frenzy**

It was hard to ignore the fuss my father was making from the other side of the elevator. Confined within the small space, his every sigh was magnified. He was unhappy about the fact that my mother had forced him into a suit, and he was livid about the fact that I had showed up at their hotel begging to stay with them without an explanation as to why I was so mad at Edward.

I knew if I'd told my parents about what had taken place at lunch yesterday, my father would probably have been arrested for trying to kill my husband and my mother would be in a hospital suffering from some sort of mental breakdown. If either of these things happened, they would have ruined Emmett's wedding, and I refused to let that happen.

Jake had agreed to share his room with me, and although it would probably make things a lot worse, I just couldn't find the energy to even care. I'd given him the quick and dirty version of what was going on, and though I could tell he was angry at Edward, he offered to help with whatever he could. Less than six months ago, I had wanted to kill Jacob Black, but his comforting nature had immediately become something like a drug to me. The small feeling of ease I felt when he hugged me briefly made my body stop aching, and I craved more. But, the last thing I needed was for him to get the wrong idea, so I told him that the only thing I really needed was someone to go to my house and pick up my clothes.

The sensible person to ask would have been Alice, but I just couldn't get past the fact that she had let Edward stay with her last night. Especially after I told her exactly what had transpired at lunch. She was supposed to be my best friend, and though it was childish to admit, it felt like she was taking Edward's side in all of this, and that hurt, a lot.

With no other options left, I agreed to let Jake go with me to the house. When I saw that Edward's car wasn't even there, I sighed in relief and thanked God for at least giving me that break. Inside, I found a bag already packed. My clothes were hanging perfectly in a garment bag, and all of my other things had been packed neatly into the suitcase sitting by the door. I knew Alice had done this for me, and as I picked the bags up and left the house, I tried to swallow back the feelings of guilt that were bubbling up in my stomach.

I spent the rest of the day trying to avoid my parents and attempting to sleep. For all of my effort, the only thing I'd actually accomplished to do was to lock myself in a dark hotel room and lay in a cold, unfamiliar bed crying all afternoon. When the alarm on my phone went off, I made myself get up and get ready for tonight.

I dressed slowly, paying close attention to every detail in an attempt to keep myself from crying again. I had to make it through the next two days. If I could, then I could go home on Sunday and figure out what the hell I was going to do.

As I was fastening the necklace Alice had packed for me, I noticed my wedding ring sitting in the small jewelry bag. I needed to wear it, at least for appearances, but just looking at it made me angry all over again. I picked it up and slid it on my finger, but after a few seconds I shook my head angrily and pulled it back off. I dropped it back into the bag and walked away without giving it a second look.

I stood in the elevator pretending to listen while my mother rambled on and on about how she should wear her hair for the wedding tomorrow. I nodded in agreement while hiding my hands behind my back, and although the elevator was big enough for the four of us, I stood as close to Jake as I could without it being obvious. He smiled supportively, and when the elevator reached the bottom floor, he grabbed my hand and asked me to stay behind with him for a second.

I reluctantly agreed, and as my parents left the two of us to go find Emmett, I followed Jake to a secluded alcove off of the main lobby.

"You look miserable," he said as he looked down at me.

I blinked in confusion wondering what part of – _my husband has probably been cheating on me with someone a million times more beautiful than me and was widely accepted within his family for the past year or so – _he didn't understand.

"Well I am," I snapped at him angrily. What the hell was I supposed to look like? That I was the happiest person in the world?

"No, I know." He shook his head and reassuringly rested his hands on my shoulders. "I'm just saying if you want people to _not_ focus on you and Edward tonight, you might want to try and look a little less 'woe is me'."

He did have a point. So we stood there, and he tried to help me figure out how to smile and not look like I was on the verge of tears or a screaming fit. We eventually found a happy medium, and after a deep breath, I followed him back out into the lobby and mentally prepared myself for the awkwardness that I was about to walk into.

Jake walked ahead of me, and as we entered the banquet room, I peeked around his shoulders looking for the one person that I told myself I didn't want to see, but really couldn't _wait_ to see.

I tried to hold my fake smile in place as I said hello to relatives I really didn't remember and was introduced to members of Rosalie's family that I hadn't met yet. Emmett wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and as he laughed at something Rosalie's father said, he gave me a reassuring squeeze. I looked up at him and knew immediately that Emmett and Rosalie knew. When he looked down at me, questioning me with his eyes, I only shook my head and hitched my fake smile higher on my face.

Emmett leaned down toward my ear and whispered, "Are you okay?" As much as I wanted to scream that I was tired of people asking me that damn question, I nodded my head and turned to go find someone who didn't know my marriage was falling apart to talk to.

As I turned, my shoulder collided with Alice, and for the millionth time that day, I wished I could just skip this whole damn thing. I didn't want to be surrounded by all these people, and I sure as hell didn't want to have her and Edward following me around all night.

"Bella, will you please talk to me?" Alice asked me in a pleading whisper. I turned to walk away, but when she grabbed my hand, I knew the only way to get her to leave me alone was to listen to her.

"You have five minutes," I told her, and she followed behind me as I quickly walked back out into the lobby. She didn't waste any time, and as soon as we were out of ear shot, she started telling me exactly what I didn't want to hear.

"Bella, I know you're mad at me and I get that, but you have got to listen to Edward," Alice said hurriedly. She grabbed my hands back when I pulled them away from her.

"You are _my _best friend Alice!" I whispered angrily, pulling my hands away from her again. "Yet you take his side!"

"I'm not taking anyone's side Bella, but I don't want you to make a huge mistake over a simple…" she started, but I cut her off. I didn't want to hear anymore.

"I didn't make a mistake Alice! I didn't lie to him or keep things from him! None of this is simple, and if you can't be supportive, then you can just leave me the fuck alone!" I said acidly, and as I turned to walk away, I saw Edward walking up behind Alice.

He opened his mouth to say something and took a step forward. "Don't!" I yelled at him, ignoring the few people who were standing out in the lobby watching the three of us.

We stood there awkwardly, the silence between us speaking volumes. When Jasper walked up next to Alice, I glared at him, daring him to try and say something. He didn't, and after looking at Edward again, I turned and walked back into the banquet hall. Jake was waiting for me at the door, and as I walked past him, he gave Edward a fleeting look before following me back inside.

As people mingled and talked for a few moments before the rehearsal actually started, I tried to regain my composure. I stood next to Jake, taking deep breaths and trying to stop my hands from shaking as Edward followed Alice and Jasper inside.

I watched him from around Jake's shoulder, and as much as I wanted to just hate him, I couldn't. The heartache that filled my chest worsened the more I looked at him. He looked absolutely horrible. I could see from here that his eyes were bloodshot, and it was obvious he was exhausted by the way his entire body sagged. I could tell that he hadn't shaved, and I really hoped he had at least taken a shower.

My observations were interrupted as Alice started gathering the wedding party together. Jake took my hand, and I reluctantly followed behind him. At least I wasn't going to have to walk down the aisle with Edward. That probably would have pushed me over the edge.

While the small wedding party gathered at the back of the room, I held tightly to Jake's hand and stared at the floor. I hardly listened as Alice explained how Rosalie had decided to have everyone walk in, and although I could feel Edward looking at me, I refused to meet his gaze.

"Bella," Alice said quietly, and when I looked up at her, she handed me a hideous ribbon bouquet. I took it without saying anything, and after she gave everyone their instructions, I held Jake's arm tightly and stood in line. I could feel Edward's eyes on my back as he stood in line directly behind us. Rosalie's best friend kept trying to make conversation with him, but Edward never responded.

I watched my brother laughing with the minister at the front of the room and tried to concentrate on the fact that this was _their_ day. Emmett had been nothing but supportive the day of my wedding. He had held me together while Alice and Esme got into a fight outside of my dressing room, and reminded me that at the end of the day Edward and I would be married, and that was all that mattered. Emmett deserved the same dedication from me on his wedding day, so I put my fake smile back in place and waited for the music to start.

I saw Alice nod to Jasper, who was sitting at the piano in front of us, and took a deep breath. When he began playing, Jake took a step forward, and as much as my mind was telling me to go, my feet wouldn't move. From just the first three notes, I knew that song, and as Jasper continued to play, I tried to keep myself from collapsing on the floor in a sobbing heap.

How could I have been so stupid to not remember that Rosalie had picked _this _song? _Our_ song. She'd asked me months ago if I minded if she used it, and at the time, I hadn't. Why wouldn't I be proud of the fact that one of the songs Rosalie chose for her wedding was written for me by my musically talented husband?

I heard Edward take a deep breath, and though I couldn't be sure, when he exhaled it sounded shaky, and I knew he was probably on the verge of losing it, just like I was.

Jake gave my arm a gentle pull and I numbly started walking beside him. I looked straight ahead and tried to ignore the looks of sympathy from Jasper and Emmett. "It will be okay," Jake whispered and I nodded, not out of agreement, but because it was the only thing I could do.

Throughout the entire rehearsal and the dinner that followed, I seemed to be in a trance. I could hear people talking to me, and though I would nod and answer back, my mind was somewhere else. I smiled as Emmett and Rosalie got up and thanked everyone. I laughed at the anecdotes Rosalie's father told, and when my mother and father got up to congratulate the happy couple, I clapped politely like everyone else.

I pretended to listen as my mother talked about the picture slide show she prepared, and as baby pictures of both Rosalie and Emmett appeared on the screen in front of us, I listened to the soft laughter floating about the room. As the pictures progressed to more recent years, my heart started beating faster.

Pictures featuring Edward started flashing on the screen, and the smile I had held religiously in place for the past few hours finally disappeared. I watched as precious memories of our lives together were displayed for everyone to see: Family holidays where Emmett, Edward, and I made silly faces at the camera. The fishing vacation we had taken to Alaska. Edward and Emmett carrying Rosalie and I piggyback-style at my parent's house a few months earlier. All evidence of what had once been an ideal life now stood on the edge of being demolished.

It was then that it hit me; the ramifications of this were going to reach well beyond just Edward and me. Edward was Emmett's best friend. What was going to happen between the two of them? What was going to happen to the friendship that all of us shared?

Reluctantly, I looked at Edward, and unsurprisingly, he was looking at me. Everyone else had their heads turned toward the screen still flashing happy moments from Rosalie and Emmett's life, while Edward and I stared at each other. We were mirroring the misery written on each other's face, and it was too much.

As quietly as I could, I pushed myself away from the table. I ignored Jake's look of concern, and walked as fast as I could past Alice and Jasper. Once I reached the lobby, I started running. I had no clue where I was going, but I knew I had to leave. I couldn't be here anymore. I needed a break from the constant noise of people talking and laughing. I needed a break from the forced normalcy that I'd been faking for the sake of my family and friends.

I pushed on the revolving door of the hotel and took a deep breath of the clean night air. I moved out from under the canopy, letting the rain that had started falling splatter against my skin and the tears I'd been holding back fall freely.

I slowly walked down the sidewalk, ignoring the people rushing past me with their umbrellas and curious stares. I kept walking even when my clothes were so wet that they were sticking to my body. I ignored the chill that swept across my skin as the wind started blowing and kept wandering down the sidewalk.

"Bella please stop," I heard Edward's voice yell from behind me, and I finally stopped. I heard his feet hit the pavement as he ran toward me, and although I didn't want to stay, I did.

"Please come inside," he begged as he pulled his wet jacket off and held it over both of us. "If you don't want me here then I will leave, but please just get out of the rain."

I closed my eyes as the smell of his cologne mixed with rain filled the space around me and pulled me to him. I inhaled it, greedily savoring the way it made me feel comforted. I slowly moved closer to him until my forehead was lightly resting on his chest.

My heart and mind ached at the conflict of wanting to love yet hate him, to comfort yet hurt him. I wanted to tightly hold onto him, but at the same time push him away. I wanted to forget what had happened, but I couldn't forgive him. I wanted and needed so many things, but mostly I needed him and wanted us.

When one of his arms wrapped itself around me, I wanted to scream at him to leave me alone, but the comfort that his touch gave me won out. I pulled at the front of his shirt, wishing I could just make all of this go away.

"Come on," he said softly against the top of my head, and without even thinking, I let him lead me back up the sidewalk. We walked, his arm around my shoulders, and I leaned into him until he stopped at his car and opened the passenger side door for me.

We drove, for what seemed like hours, but it was more likely that it was only a few fleeting minutes. I stared at the headlights that passed by in a blur, and when the car came to a stop, I didn't bother looking up to see where we were. We sat in silence; the only sound was the soft purr of the engine and the occasional squeak of the windshield wipers against the glass.

"Please say something," Edward said, his voice shattering the silence that had surrounded us.

"The only thing I can say is that I'm hurt," I said in a small voice.

"Bella, I didn't sleep with Tanya. I'm not having an affair with her or anyone else in Portland," he said in a soft voice before tentatively taking my hand.

I nodded and acknowledged that I had heard him, but remained silent.

"Can you please believe that I wouldn't do that to you? After all this time, how can you even think that I would be capable of doing something like that?" Edward asked as his thumb gently ran over the skin on my ring finger where my wedding ring should have been.

"I never would have thought that you would show up at my house calling me a whore and a slut, all the while having your ex-girlfriend living with you," I said while looking at him, and though I knew I had hit well below the belt, it was the truth.

His eyes darkened as the memory of what happened flashed across his face. I turned forward and continued to stare out into the darkness, letting the hatred of that damn day fill my chest.

Jasper's birthday party had been a total disaster. Alice had convinced me that Edward still wanted me, still wanted to be with me and had only been too scared to admit it. So that night on her back porch, I opened myself up to him and once again he ran away. I was humiliated and tired of waiting for someone that would never come around.

I let Mike drive me home that night, knowing full well that he thought I would put out. I knew what kind of guy Mike was, but I also knew that he was leaving, therefore offering a possible escape from Edward's brooding stare from where he sat on the stairs. Mike dropped me off at my apartment, and nothing more than a polite "Thank you" passed between us.

A few days had passed since the party when Edward showed up at my apartment looking like he hadn't slept or eaten in days. He reeked of alcohol and stale smoke. I listened in confusion and disbelief as he yelled at me, telling me I was a whore and that his mother had been right from the beginning. We yelled at screamed at each other, and I told him to leave, though he refused. Edward had even gotten Mike's account of what happened that night, and though Mike reaffirmed that nothing had happened between us, Edward still didn't calm down.

He left me standing in the middle of my living room crying hysterically, staring at the bloody hole he'd punched through my wall. I swore that day that I wouldn't ever talk to Edward Cullen again, yet here we were, years later.

We sat in silence until I asked Edward to take me back to the hotel. He complied, and as he pulled into the carport, he let go of my hand. "We just have to get through tomorrow, and then we can figure out what we are going to do," I told him as I pulled my seatbelt off.

He nodded but didn't look at me. I started to get out of the car when he called me back and I stopped to look at him. "I love you," he said, reaching out for my hand. I let him hold it for a moment before I slowly pulled away from him and got out of the car.

When I got my room, I opened the door quietly in case Jake had already gone to sleep. I was surprised to find not only Jake, but Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie sitting there waiting for me.

Emmett stood up and shut the door behind me. I turned to ask what was going on, but as I walked further into the room I saw Esme and Carlisle sitting there looking up at me.

"We need to talk," Esme said in a quiet voice.

**Only one chapter left and I have to tell you guys I am all sorts of sad. In the previous chapter when I said it was bitter sweet I meant that it was bitter sweet for me, you guys were freaking out!! Lmao**

**Thanks to all of you, really I can't even explain how happy your reviews make me. Di, you obviously know how much I love you. Same goes for you Mels.**

**As soon as the last chapter is approved by my Beta, I will get that posted. And incase none of you noticed I did change my penname to JustForkIt so it would match my Twitter name.  
**


	21. Ever After

"**This is not supposed to be how a love should look, after you have closed the story book. They say that life goes on, but I've been dead since you've been gone. I think were wrong, so what's the use? I am ever after you, always ever after you. So tell me what I have to do? Is there a way to be happy ever after you?"- Ever After You by the Gabe Dixon Band**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read all of the AN at the bottom!- C**

I glared at Esme for a split second before I turned and tried to leave the room. I didn't get far; Emmett's hands wrapped around the top of my arms, holding me in place as I tried to escape.

"Emmett let me go!" I yelled at him while ignoring the calming words from Jasper and Jake; they had both stood up to help Emmett.

"What the hell is she doing here?" I asked my brother harshly.

"Bella, you have got to calm down," Emmett said, holding me in place while he tried to explain what was going on.

Alice let go of Rosalie's hand and took a step forward as Carlisle rubbed Esme's arm supportively. "Bella, I invited Esme here," she said in a small but determined voice.

I could feel my mouth fall open from the shock of Alice's treason against our friendship. Not only did she plan this stupid intervention, but she also trapped me in a fucking room with someone I absolutely hated. "What the fuck Alice?" I screamed at her, still struggling to pull away from Emmett.

"Bella, stop." Jasper held his hands up in an attempt to make me see reason, but I ignored him.

"You are supposed to be my best friend, and yet you take Edward's side? Then you go and call Satan herself and invite her over here to just rub it in my face? Does a twenty year old friendship not mean a fucking thing to you anymore?" I screamed at her.

"And that doesn't tell you something Bella?" she yelled back at me. "You are my best friend and I am trying to help you!"

I pulled against Emmett wanting nothing more than to just beat the shit of every single person that stood in the room.

"Bella, we love you. I love you! We are only trying to get you to listen to us, but you won't! So the only option I have left is to hold you hostage!" Alice moved forward trying to calm me down, but she only ended up making me angrier.

Carlisle walked towards me, holding his hands up and trying to get me to calm down. "Bella, I know you are angry, and you have every right to be. All we are asking for is a few moments to try and explain some things."

"Bella please…" Alice begged quietly.

I glared at her as tears started running down my cheeks, until Esme stood up and tentatively took a step towards me. "Bella…" she started quietly, but I stopped her.

"Do. Not. Talk. To. Me," I said in a shaking voice, punctuating each word. I tried again to pull away from Emmett. I swear to God, if she got close enough I might have actually kicked her.

"Bella…" she pleaded again, but I shook my head.

"I hate you!" I cried as I looked at her. "I hate you for everything that you have put me through…"

I tried to finish but I couldn't. In that second, every horrible thing Esme had ever said or done hit me all over again. All of the looks of disapproval, every snub, and every mean comment she'd ever thrown my way passed through my mind. All I could do was close my eyes as more tears made their way down my face and sag against my brother's grip. My body simply gave up.

I slipped out of Emmett's grasp like a rag doll, landing in a pathetic heap on the floor at his feet. I sat there crying, not even protesting when I felt Emmett lift me up into his arms and hold me against him. He hugged me to him, gently rocking side to side as I cried against his chest. I felt a small hand rubbing circles on my back, which eventually turned into a hug from behind.

Alice rested her head lightly against my back as I continued to cry. I listened as she hummed lightly, letting her sweet melodic harmony travel up my back. I turned around to find her crying silently. She wrapped her arms around my neck and gently smoothed the back of my hair. Jasper wrapped his long arms around the both of us, and I leaned against them as I continued to cry.

"The worst part, aside from my marriage probably being ruined, is the fact that I let you fool me," I said in a weak voice that was muffled by Alice's shoulder. I slowly pulled away from both of them and looked at Esme, ignoring the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. "I ignored people telling me that you weren't really sorry and that you were only trying to trick me into a false sense of friendship…"

"Bella…" she said softly after looking down at the carpet.

"Why do you hate me?" I asked as I threw my arms up in frustration. "I have done nothing but love your son with everything that I have in me…"

"I have said and done a lot of terrible things you to Bella," she admitted softly before looking back at me. "And you have every right to hate me, but don't punish Edward because of my mistakes."

"I am not punishing him Esme, you are." I crossed my arms across my chest and glared at her. "You seem to be rallying around the idea that our marriage will fail! Why?" I had started screaming again and Esme only looked at me while shaking her head.

"Why do you hate me?" I screamed again, and as I took a step forward, Jasper grabbed my arm to hold me back. "Just tell me what I have done to make you hate me… Please…" The room was quiet as I watched Esme slowly shake her head at me.

"I don't know," she admitted quietly. "I wanted so much for Edward and I just… I had this idea in my head of what his life would be like as an adult, happy and successful with a family of his own. I never saw how much you completed him until now. It is my own fault that he hates me and that _you_ hate me. But, I can't lose my son, and I definitely don't want him to lose you."

I swallowed thickly as Esme took the handkerchief Carlisle was offering her. That was it? After all of the years of hatred from her, that was all she could give me?

"If you lose your son, it's nobody's fault but your own Esme," I said bitterly.

"I know," Esme admitted while nodding her head. "This is entirely my fault."

"Tanya is at fault too," Alice said from beside me.

"Bella, Edward would never cheat on you," Carlisle said, and I looked at him for a second before looking back at the floor. Carlisle's eyes were so similar to Edward's, and it made my heart ache to even glance at them.

"He lied to me through omission, and that is just as bad as cheating. He lied to me about Tanya living with him," I told Carlisle, but it was Jasper that responded.

"She didn't live with him Bella; she stayed with him for a couple of weeks. That's what we have been trying to tell you. All of these stories she has told you are lies," he explained as Alice nodded in agreement

"The button got pulled off by her necklace," Esme said softly while wiping her cheeks. "She knew he was in Portland because I told her. Edward never contacted her; she was the one who initiated all of it."

Jasper let go of my arm, and I tiredly crossed to one of the beds and sunk on to it. I listened as Jasper explained what had taken place after his birthday party. He briefly skimmed over the whole altercation at my apartment, and I knew it was because to this day neither Alice nor Emmett knew about it.

When it happened, I had been so angry at him, and for a split second I'd thought about calling Emmett and having him beat the shit out of Edward. But when Jasper showed up, he convinced me to wait – to give Edward a little time – and I had agreed.

If anyone deserved credit for getting Edward and I back together, it was Jasper. From what I knew, once Edward left my apartment that day, Jasper was the one who basically made him get his ass in gear. Jasper was the one that convinced me to at least agree to talk to him again. If it hadn't been for that, I probably wouldn't have ever seen him again.

I was exhausted, and after I calmly listened to everyone's opinion, I curled up on one of the double beds in Jake's hotel room and tried to stop crying. I was tired of crying, and I just wished for a second I could feel something other than sadness, desperation, or anger.

"Bella, any woman in your situation would have assumed the worst, but you have to at least have to listen to Edward," Alice said quietly as she lay on her side next to me, gently stroking my hair. "Let him explain why he didn't tell you to begin with. Give him a chance to tell you that Tanya is lying before you just throw away one of the best things in your life."

I knew she was right, that I at least owed him a chance to explain his side of the story, but I was just so mad. I felt betrayed by the fact that three years ago he promised to never lie to me. He told me I could trust him, and that trust was what helped me move past all of his idiotic tendencies about Mike Newton.

After everyone left, I stared into the darkness of the hotel room and wished Edward had just told me about Tanya from the beginning. There were so many mistakes we'd made when we were younger, and they all seemed to be falling in on us now. I sat up, looking over at the other bed, and wondered if Jake was asleep.

"Bella just go over there," he said in a quiet voice as if answering my thought. "Go over there and talk to him. Get the answers you want."

I sighed heavily, wanting to know, but scared of what I might actually find out.

"You know I am no fan of Edward Cullen, but even I can see he adores you. Just go and give him a chance," Jake said quietly.

I got out of bed, and after pulling on the same hoodie from that morning, I felt around in the darkness for my shoes. Jake turned on the lamp, and once I found them and hastily shoved them on my feet, I grabbed my purse.

Before I left, I leaned over Jake's bed and kissed his cheek softly. "Thank you for being such a good friend today." I smiled and pushed myself away from the bed.

"Where was all this love and affection a few years ago?" he asked me with a mischievous smile, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "Doesn't matter, I've moved on Bella. Try not to miss me."

"You have a girlfriend?" I asked before pulling the door open.

"Yup. Leah and I have been together for a few months now." He yawned and rolled back over onto this stomach. With a smile, I shut the door and ran as fast as I could to the elevator and parking lot.

I drove a hell of a lot faster than I should have, and once I pulled into the driveway, I wished I had driven a little slower. I still had no idea what I was going to say to him. I unlocked the door with shaking hands, and as I quietly dropped my keys on the kitchen counter, I could see a bluish light filtering out from our bedroom.

I tiptoed down the hallway, staying in the shadows. From the doorway, I looked into our room and bit my bottom lip nervously as I watched him.

Edward was sitting on the floor, his back propped up against the bed, his long legs bent at the knee with his elbows resting on them. He was staring at the muted TV, and when I looked at it briefly, I saw that he was watching the DVD of our wedding. I watched him pull a nearly empty bottle to his lips before saying something.

"Edward," I said quietly as I stepped out from the shadows. He looked over at me, the bottle still held to his mouth, his eyes blurred and confused.

When he didn't say anything, I walked towards him and slowly lowered myself onto the floor next to him. He watched me the entire time, and even when I pulled the bottle out of his hand, he only blinked slowly.

"Bella, what… What are you doing here?" he asked me in a deeply confused and exhausted voice.

"I'm ready to listen," I said quietly while holding his hands in my lap.

He looked down at my lap for a few moments before looking back up at me. His eyes held mine, and after a few moments I had to look away.

"I didn't cheat on you, ever…" he said quietly while still watching me.

I nodded for him to continue, and after taking a deep breath, he started explaining everything. I listened and nodded encouragingly when he started faltering while telling me exactly what happened while Tanya had stayed with him. The thought of him kissing her made my skin crawl, but if that was honestly all that happened, I could make myself deal with it.

"Bella, I promise you… That is all that ever happened," he said in a hoarse whisper as his hand toyed with my wedding ring; I couldn't leave it behind when I left the hotel. "I don't love Tanya."

"Why didn't you just tell me, Edward? I would have tried to understand," I asked him sadly. "You sat there and promised me I could trust you, but then you hide something like this for years."

His head dropped, and his fingers tightened around mine as he considered how to answer me.

"Because I was so scared you wouldn't even try to understand. I acted so horribly about the whole Mike thing; I really didn't need to add that on top of it." He sighed before looking back at me. "I had just gotten you back, and as much as I knew I should have told you, I couldn't. I made my parents promise me they wouldn't ever tell you. Even Tanya said she wouldn't."

His forehead creased as his eyes started filling with tears. "I had pushed you away from me for so long… I just couldn't risk it. I knew I had to be with you, that all of my fucking commitment issues and all of the bullshit with my parents didn't matter. I believed that as long as I had you then I could make this work. Now I just see how fucking selfish I was…"

He let go of my hand, leaning his elbows back against his knees, and rubbed his forehead roughly.

"Edward, it isn't selfish to be scared."

"No, but it was selfish to make you put up with the shit my mother dished out for years. It's selfish for me to expect you to be fine with Tanya being around all the time, all because I was too fucking concerned with my own needs." He looked back at me and shook his head. "Don't defend my actions, Bella."

I sighed and leaned against the bed and watched him, trying to read the emotions on his face. He was mad at himself, Tanya, and his mother. He was frustrated by the situation, exhausted from two days of no sleep, and probably a little drunk.

The silence that fell between us made me uncomfortable and nervous.

"I just wish you would have been honest with me about everything. About Tanya staying with you, about the flights together, the dinners… None of it would have been this bad if you would have just told me, Edward."

I watched him as he nodded his head slowly while looking at the floor.

"I hate that because of her stupid ass, I can't look back at the past three years without having doubts about everything we've been through. I hate that Tanya's lies have made me doubt you. Doubt us…"

Edward looked at me, his eyes frantic as I shook my head in frustration. "Bella, if we can move past this, I promise I won't ever hurt you again. We can move away from my parents, or I just won't talk to them anymore. I swear to God, I won't ever talk to any of them again if that's what you want…" He started rambling and clinging to me as the tears fell down this face.

"Edward…" I whispered as I hugged him.

He pulled me into his lap, holding me tightly against him. His whole body started shaking as he cried silently against my neck. I held onto his shoulders tightly and bit my lip to try and keep myself from crying, but when he pulled away from me so that he could look up at me, I lost it.

"I can't live without you Bella. I just… I can't," he said in a shaky whisper.

I nodded slowly as he gently reached up and wiped away the tears that were trailing down my face. My hand wrapped around his, and the two of us sat there crying and looking at each other.

"Please," Edward whispered over and over as I leaned my forehead against his. "Please don't leave me."

My breath came out in gasping sobs as he begged me. I held onto his neck as he pulled me even tighter against him, and knew that what Edward had said was the same for both of us. I couldn't live without him, and as much as I wanted to hate him for hurting me, I wanted to love him more.

I was naïve enough to believe that my life would be a fairytale once we got married. I had always assumed that the times between true loves' kiss and happily ever after were filled with blissful wonderment. But the storybooks left out the struggles that make it worth it. They left out the feeling of absolute heartache that can scare you to death, but in the same instance make you realize that with all of that pain comes healing and understanding.

"I love you," I whispered in a ragged breath that was broken by the sobs in my chest. "I can't leave you."

Edward sighed in relief, and on the floor of our bedroom in the early morning hours, we both realized exactly what it meant to love someone for better or worse. We always prayed for the better, but I knew that no matter what, we could always overcome the worse.

*******

"You don't have to do this Bella." Edward held my hand tightly as we sat in the car outside the library. I smiled at him briefly before looking back at the few groups of people lingering outside before going in.

It had been two weeks since Emmett and Rosalie's wedding. Two weeks since Edward and I had made the choice to move forward together, and not look back at what had been two of the worst days of either one of our lives.

Esme had apologized profusely to both of us, giving no other explanation than the one she had given me at the hotel, simply saying she had learned her lesson. Her relationship with Edward wasn't something she was willing to sacrifice, and she claimed she would do whatever she had to do to prove she was serious. I let Edward make his own choice, one he was still debating, but I had already decided on mine.

Esme would always be Edward's mother, and I wouldn't make him choose between the two of us anymore. If he chose to see her then he could, but I was no longer interested in a relationship with her. If she wanted to come by the house I would leave. If he wanted to go there then I would stay home. It was as simple as that. I loved Edward, but just because I loved him didn't mean I had to love his family.

I had debated for the last few days about coming to this fundraiser. I had no desire to see Tanya or Esme. But in the end, I knew that if I didn't show up, Tanya would think she had gotten the best of me and I refused to give in. The library was a cause I really did believe in, and I wanted to be there to enjoy all of the fruits of my hard work.

"No, I need to do this." I looked back at him and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before he got out of the car. As he walked around to let me out, I took a deep breath and prayed that God would be gentle on me tonight. I let Edward help me out of the car and we walked hand in hand up the steps of the library.

The foyer was still filled with people greeting each other, and I sighed as I saw Esme and Carlisle talking with a few of their friends.

"It's not too late to make an escape," Edward whispered as he wrapped an arm around my back, holding me tightly against him. I smiled, knowing that if I did indeed turn around and take off running, Edward would be behind me with no questions asked.

Carlisle smiled when he saw us, and although I could tell he was thinking of walking toward us, he only nodded in acknowledgement and let us pass by. Esme watched with sadness in her eyes, but Edward ignored her as he led me past them.

"See, piece of cake," I whispered as Edward grabbed us two flutes of champagne. He handed me my glass, and after giving me a wink, took a drink.

The evening passed with little excitement. The silent auction seemed to be a big hit with everyone, and when Edward bid on the private jam session in Jasper's new studio that Alice and Jasper had donated, I couldn't help but laugh. He could go by there anytime he wanted, but Edward told me it helped him sleep better at night if he paid for it.

I tried not to notice Esme or Tanya, but it was obvious that any time Tanya got anywhere near Esme or Carlisle, they walked away. I watched them curiously until I heard the Junior League president asking for me to join her. Edward gave me a quick kiss before I followed her, and once I reached the podium, I noticed Tanya standing there with a champagne flute in her hand, looking bored.

"I was planning on making a short announcement, and was wondering if either one of you wanted to say a little something since this was your project," Charlotte, the Junior League president, said. She smiled happily while looking between the two of us.

Before I could even open my mouth, Tanya agreed, and with a sigh I followed both of them onto the small stage. I listened as Charlotte spoke with great enthusiasm about how wonderful the event had turned out. When she handed Tanya the microphone, I saw both Edward and his parents look at me from opposite sides of the room.

In true Tanya fashion, she made her impromptu speech all about her. She hardly mentioned any of the work done by other people, especially anything that I'd been involved in or related to. When she took credit for the idea of the silent auction that I had spent months organizing, I thought Edward might come unglued. I guess it was surprising for people who had always believed Tanya could do no wrong, but I hadn't expected anything less. She was a selfish person with an ugly heart. As I watched her, I couldn't remember why I had always been so jealous of her. I had always thought she was so perfect, but as I stood there watching her, her flaws were obvious.

When she finished, I laughed before walking away. Edward met me at the bottom of the stairs, and after helping me off the last one, wrapped an arm around my waist. "Do you want to get out of here?" he asked after I pulled him by his tie down to kiss me.

"Absolutely," I said without hesitation, and we both made our way back through the foyer. I had done what I came to do, which was to prove to Esme and Tanya that they didn't intimidate me. They could think I was low life trash if they wanted, but at the end of the day, I was the one with a clean conscious.

"Oh damn!" I stopped as we were halfway out the door. "I forgot my clutch. It's sitting on the stairs by the podium."

"I'll go get it. Just wait here. I won't be two seconds," Edward said as he quickly walked back into the party.

Before he even disappeared around the corner, I saw Tanya out of the corner of my eye walking toward me. I sighed before she reached me, but smiled and looked at her. I refused to stoop down to her level, even if that meant I couldn't beat the shit out of her.

"Tanya," I said in acknowledgement.

"So you think it's just that easy?" she asked while smiling down at me.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said before turning to leave. She grabbed my arm as I tried to walk past her and I looked down at her hand on my arm and back up to her smug face. Stooping to her level was looking more and more tempting.

"If you think that you can change how the Cullen's feel about me just by pouting for a few weeks then you're wrong. Eventually they will see what everyone else does," she said while glaring down at me.

"And what is that?" I asked sweetly while pulling my arm away from her.

"That you are white trash Bella. It's painfully obvious that you don't fit in here, and I really don't understand why you can't just take the hint already." She laughed and let go of my arm.

"Here's a hint for you Tanya, Edward married me. He picked me. So please stop your selfish-ass attempts at getting him back, because they won't work. All you are doing is making this uncomfortable for everyone involved and ruining a friendship with one of your best friends," I told her while she glared at me.

"You don't know anything about my friendship with Edward. As for his parents, it's only a matter of time before I'm back in favor with Esme." She shook her head and spoke to me like I was a child. "Edward loves his mother, and eventually she will convince him that you are trash. Esme has been planning on Edward and me getting married since we were children, and they already think of me as a daughter…"

Tanya was interrupted by a loud voice.

"I already have a daughter."

We both turned to find Esme, Carlisle, and Edward standing behind us. Edward looked furious, but it was Esme that had spoken. She walked toward me and wrapped an arm around my waist while giving a frightening glare to Tanya.

"Bella is my daughter," she told her.

Carlisle stood by my side. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. "I think you should leave Tanya," he said simply while Tanya looked helplessly at Edward.

Edward glared at her, his fists at his sides clinched in anger. I watched as he took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down, but it didn't seem to be working.

"Edward…" she said helplessly while reaching for his hand.

"Do. Not. Touch. Me," he growled at her while taking a slow step toward her. "If you ever threaten or disrespect my wife again, I will personally see to it that you regret it. Leave my family alone, and leave me alone. Do you understand?"

I pulled away from Esme and Carlisle to stand between Edward and Tanya. I didn't think Edward would ever be the type to hurt a woman, but I had also never seen him this mad. I pushed lightly on his chest until he finally looked down at me.

"Let it go." I smiled up at him as my fingers unclenched his fists and threaded themselves between his. "Let it go."

He looked at me for a second before nodding. He reached down to pick my bag up off of the floor, and hand-in-hand, the two of us walked past Tanya. When we reached Carlisle and Esme, I pulled on Edward's hand to stop.

"Thank you," I told both of them. Carlisle smiled as Esme nodded and briefly took my hand.

"You're welcome," she said softly before squeezing my hand and letting it go.

Edward and I walked outside, and as I leaned against him, he wrapped his arm wrapped around my shoulders. We would always have problems. After all life isn't a fairytale, but we could handle anything if we were together.

Edward would probably always be spoiled, impulsive, and maybe a little too cocky for his own good. I would always be too opinionated, a little unsure of myself, and say the most inappropriate things. We would continue to fight over stupid things like Starburst wrappers, Xbox games, and him using the wrong towels to clean with. The honeymoon was definitely over for us, but it was what waited between now and our happily ever after that mattered most.

The End.

**A/N**

***sigh* It's over. I don't know if this ending was what everyone expected, and I am sure not every single reader will be pleased with it, but it's how I needed it to end. I have to believe that there is a chance for Esme to REALLY learn from her mistakes and maybe have a semi normal relationship with Edward and Bella someday. I have to believe that, because I hope my own relationships with my MILs will not always be awkward and heartbreaking, for me that would be a happy ending. That being said I am sure there are a lot of questions you guys have, I will do my best to answer all of them.**

**I have to say thank you to every single one of you reading this. There is no way I can express how much this story has helped me. It has given me an outlet for one of the worst parts of my life, helping me remember to laugh at the ridiculous situations I find myself in. Several of you have sent me messages saying that you also have strained relationships with your in-laws, and I hope this was able to help you guys too. So thank you for sharing in the laughter and tears. I considered doing a sequel, but I really think that my Edward and Bella's back story is something I need to explore. So I am seriously considering a prequel. So if you want to know what their first date was like or exactly how many times they had sex in Esme's pool on the fourth of July then you will need to read it. Not sure when I will be posting it, but I do have a few chapters written already.**

**And now for the sad ass part… *sigh*…. I have to say that all of this, this entire story, is dedicated to a select few people: to my husband for putting up with my obsessions, my best friend for being one of the only people who really understands how horrible MILs can be. Also, for my mom, because she is my biggest supporter and always encourages me, even when it involves an assload of f-bombs and sex scenes. Becca, Paige, Christina, Lauren, Britney, Stella, Miriam, Raf, Megs, Jules, Em, Mel, Angela, Kim and anyone else I might have left out.. Thank you. Last but not least to Di. You were my first Twilight friend, and by us connecting over that silly icon you helped me move past one of the most depressing stages of my life. You encouraged me when I thought I wasn't good enough, slapped me around when I was being too hard on myself, and always always kept me true to what I wanted this story to be; not what I thought other people wanted it to be. Thank you for being there for me in more ways than I can count, and I am honored to consider you one of my best friends. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.**

**-Charlsa**


	22. Assward Says What? THO Outtake

**This is for my girl jadedandboring! AN at the end and I promise you'll wanna read it!**

**(EPOV of Peenfest and resulting beat down)**

"Edward, are you sure Bella is okay with all of this?" Jasper asked while he watched everyone make their way into the house. He had a weird look on his face: a mix of excitement, hilarity, and apprehension.

"Why wouldn't she be? I told her I was going to have a few people over." I shrugged and waved as Ben walked in. Of course he would invite Mike-fucking-Newton; I nodded in recognition, but planned on ignoring his ass the rest of the night.

Jasper started mumbling something about this being a lot more than a few people, but I ignored him. Just because Alice had _him_ whipped and put in place didn't mean _I _couldn't have a get-together. I specifically remembered telling her about this, and Bella was a hell of a lot more laid-back than Alice. It would be fine.

I slapped Jasper on the back, telling him to enjoy himself, and took off into the dining room. My mom had dropped off a tray of sandwiches from my favorite deli, and I wanted one before Emmett got here and they all disappeared. With a sandwich in one hand and a cold beer in the other, I walked through the house welcoming everyone.

We hadn't officially had a party to welcome everyone to the new house, so really it was like killing two birds with one stone. Bella hadn't even had to write invitations, and I was hoping she'd realize that I'd done her a favor. Besides, almost all of our friends were here, and some had even brought guests. Bella had said she wanted to make more friends once we got married. It was a win-win situation.

So if I was so fucking sure that she wouldn't have a problem with this, then why was Jasper making me so damn nervous? I watched him, texting away on his phone with that stupid smirk on his face, and knew he was talking to Alice. I couldn't tell you the last time Jasper had thrown a party that Alice wasn't involved in, but I could guarantee that none of them had involved beer and video games.

Don't get me wrong, I loved Alice like a sister, but she was the exact opposite of Bella. Alice was high-maintenance, and Jasper was willing to cater to that. Bella was… well, she was Bella. She didn't have any of the usual hang-ups that most other girls did, and she was definitely not high-maintenance. I smiled while I licked mustard off of my finger and couldn't help but feel a little proud. Bella was a good catch, and she was mine.

"'Sup fucker?" Emmett asked loudly while slapping me on the back. I stumbled forward, coughing and trying not to choke on the beer I had just been trying to swallow. "Where's Izzy?"

"Bella," I corrected him in a horse voice. He only shook his head and kept looking around. "She's out with Alice and Angela."

"And she wasn't mad you're throwing a party?" he asked and I stared at him. "What?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me if she's mad that I'm throwing a party? This is my house too!" I said grumpily. He only slapped my back and smiled.

"You're married now Edward. It doesn't work like that anymore. Now, it's whatever is yours is hers, and whatever is hers is still hers. And _that_ is the exact reason why I will never get married." He laughed and looked around for a second before taking off across the room, leaving me standing there.

That was bullshit; Bella wasn't like that. It wasn't like when we got married I expected her to just give up going shopping with Alice or whatever else she did with her friends. So why would she expect that from me? I blew Emmett off and joined Ben and Tyler, who were playing video games. Bella wasn't going to give a shit.

***

I kicked the front door shut behind, pulling my tie away from neck and groaned. I fucking hated dressing up every damn day. This shit was suffocating me and the fact that Bella was so damn cold-natured and needed the heater on at all hours of the day only made it worse.

With a frustrated sigh, I started pulling my clothes off and walked back into our bedroom. I threw everything toward the hamper – after all, it was the thought that counted – and rubbed my stomach while looking around the room.

Something was different; not just in here, but throughout the whole house. I couldn't help but feel like maybe I had forgotten to do something. After a few seconds, I shrugged it off; whatever it was would wait. It was Friday afternoon, and I was definitely getting fucked _and_ fucked up tonight.

I looked at my watch, smiling when I realized that Bella wouldn't be home for a few more hours. I excitedly walked into our office and pulled my bottom desk drawer open, shoving files and whatever the hell else was hidden in there aside, until I found the small cigar box I was looking for. Flipping the top back, I pulled out the small Ziplock baggie stowed there and shook it gently.

The fact that I smoked weed wasn't a secret. I'd actually tried several times to get Bella to try it, but that had been at least four years ago, and I had no idea how she would react to it now. So I only smoked when she was either asleep or not at home; it saved me from an argument. I rolled the joint, lit it, and leaned back in my chair after taking the first hit. Totally relaxed, I sighed and decided to grab a snack and play _Call of Duty _for the few minutes I still had to myself before Bella got home.

A few minutes evolved into an hour, and somewhere during that time, I'd shed my boxers, undershirt, and socks; I swear, I had no idea how she could stand it when it was so warm in here.

My full concentration was still on the game, so I didn't realize Bella had gotten home and was standing there watching me play while I was naked, until she hit my fucking head with a remote control. "Fuck, Bella!" I yelled as she walked away from me. I heard her say some smartass comment back, so I got up to follow her. My forehead throbbed as I asked, "What is your problem?"

She turned around and glared at me, and I had to admit that my nuts shriveled up a little. Suddenly, the idea of being fully clothed didn't seem like such a bad idea. I listened as she started complaining about cleaning the house, and that's when it hit me: I'd promised her I would clean up after the party. That's what I had forgotten to do...

Part of me wanted to laugh at my own stupidity, but it wasn't like I didn't have a good excuse. I was working a lot, and besides, Bella wouldn't have been happy with the way I'd have cleaned up anyway. She would have just gone behind me and redone everything I did. In reality, I was doing her a favor by saving time. But Bella was pissed, and not just a little pissed… A hell of a lot pissed.

I figured making her laugh couldn't hurt anything. "But I apologized," I told her with a smirk. Her eye twitched, but I couldn't tell if it was because she was still mad or because she was trying not to laugh.

"Did you do what you promised me you would do, Edward?" she asked slowly.

I decided to play on the fact she was amused, and kept going. "Well, I didn't hear you complaining when I was apologizing Bella. Screaming yes, complaining no."

I guess I made the wrong decision, because the next thing I knew, she was yelling "Asshole!" at the top of her lungs and throwing shit at me. I dodged around them, trying to grab her arms and hold my leg up to cover my junk in the process.

"Bella, stop!" I yelled while trying to stop her. Eventually, she ran out of ammunition and started hitting me instead. I winced when her hand slapped my chest, but that made it a hell of a lot easier to grab her. My hands tightened around her wrists and I laughed in triumph.

"Assward, I am warning you!" she yelled loudly, and I stopped for a second.

_Did she just call me Assward?_

I laughed and pulled her closer to me. "Resistance is futile Bella, and you know it!" I laughed and tried to pull her close enough so I could kiss her. When she got all feisty and worked up like this, she was just so fucking cute. I pulled her arms and leaned forward just as she pulled away from me.

Before I could even register what was happening, both of us were flipping over the back of the bed. Now Bella fell, a lot, but that didn't mean I could just let her hit the floor. I tried to pull her over on top of me, so that I could cushion her fall, but that shit didn't work. I winced as I heard her leg hit the dresser then both of us hit the floor.

I tried not to laugh as Bella started screaming every cuss word she could think of. Eventually she stopped, and the only sound was the two of us trying to catch our breath after laughing hysterically.

"You really are an ass, Edward," she muttered after a second.

I leaned up to look at her. "Don't you mean Assward?" I asked sarcastically, but she only started laughing again. I moved to lie down next to her and listened as she explained my newly formed nickname.

"Assward?" I asked skeptically. "I like Cumward much better; I think that should be my new nickname. Permanently."

I smiled when she started laughing and couldn't help but admire how truly beautiful she was, even if she had just tried to kill me with a few remotes and an iPod. Bella was naturally beautiful, and her blush only added to it.

I sat up, and leaned over to look at her leg, only to frown when I saw that a whelp was forming. I rubbed it softly and looked back at her. "You're going to have a bruise."

"It's okay." She smiled and looked up at me. "You'll have several."

I rolled my eyes and felt my head, which was still throbbing, and couldn't help but smile a little. One of the things I loved most about Bella was that she didn't put up with my bullshit. Granted, maybe throwing objects at my head wasn't the right way to go about things, but it made me proud of her.

When we first met, Bella had been so insecure – really, she was just a shell of the Bella I now knew. Through the years, I had been privileged enough to watch her grow into the person she is today. Five years ago, Bella would have just sighed and not said anything; today she had basically kicked my ass. I smiled and looked down at her. _That's my girl._

I leaned down over her, kissing her softly and smiled when her arms wrapped around my shoulders. I thought for a split second that maybe that kiss might lead to something a little more fun, but as I started lifting her shirt off of her, she stopped me. "Don't you have a mess you should be cleaning up?" she asked me, her eyes shining with humor.

I narrowed my eyes for a second, leaned down and kissed her again, and then jumped up off the floor. _Yup, that was definitely my girl._

**A/N:**

**Oh Edward how I have missed you!!! *sigh* **

**Ok so really I wrote this for my girl jadedandboring because he both suffer from MILFH (mother-in-law from hell) and she just needed a pick me up!**

**I hope you guys enjoyed it… and just to let you know I am writing a prequel AND a sequel. I have three chapters of each finished, and I will be posting the prequel once I have around ten chapters finished. I really have missed Assward… a lot. And I have missed you guys!!**

**Hope everyone enjoys New Moon and has a great Thanksgiving!!**


	23. Surprise! A THO Outtake

**This was a special birthday present for JadedandBoring!! Love you!!**

"Have a great day baby!" I yelled excitedly. When Bella turned around and looked at me I just smiled and waved.

"Edward…" she warned.

_Play it cool _I reminded myself. When she walked up to me with her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed, I kept smiling.

"I really don't want a party… I don't want to celebrate my birthday," she said.

I didn't understand why her turning twenty nine was that big of a deal. It wasn't like she was thirty or forty even. Bella hadn't ever had a problem celebrating birthdays in the past, and I couldn't figure out why this one had seemed to throw her out of whack.

"Bella, I just want you to have a good day," I said before kissing the top of her head.

She sighed and leaned against me as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. After a few minutes I finally convinced her that I wasn't throwing a party. She left, promising that she would enjoy the spa package that I had gotten her. As soon as I saw her car backing out of the driveway, I made a mad dash for the phone.

"Yeah?" Jasper answered.

"She's headed your way to pick up Alice. I'll meet you at the party factory," I said quickly. I turned around in circles looking for my keys.

"Right-o!" he said in a lame fake British accent. Before I could comment on it, he hung up.

I shook my head and grabbed my wallet, running out the door. I smiled to myself as I made my way through traffic. I might actually pull this off. Bella would spend the entire day getting massaged and covered in mud with Alice. When she got home tonight, she would be totally relaxed and more than excited to see the surprise party I had planned for her.

** *** **

"How many balloons did you order?!" Jasper asked.

"Well they had a special going. If you ordered more then ten you got a discount or some shit, so I ordered twenty," I looked around at the several bunches of balloons that were waiting behind the counter. Someone else was probably having a party too.

"You dumbass!" Emmett laughed.

"What?"

"You do realize that they meant more than ten dozen, right? You ordered twenty dozen balloons?" Jasper shook his head while looking at me.

"Twenty dozen isn't that bad… it's only…" I looked at both of them. _Oh shit._ I shook my head when I realized how many balloons that actually was.

"More than two hundred balloons! Your ass ordered over two hundred balloons!" Emmett roared. I stumbled forward when he slapped my back.

"How are you going to get these in your car?" Jasper asked. I could tell he was trying not to laugh at me. He was failing miserably.

I looked at the groups of balloons that were covered in black bags and shook my head. There was no way that I could get all of these in my car. Hell I probably couldn't get half of them in all three of our cars. I took a deep breath and smiled. This wasn't going to be a problem. This place had to deliver… I would just pay the extra fee and have them deliver all of them. It wouldn't be that bad, I could spread them out through the house. It would be fine.

"Hey, you deliver right?" I asked the cashier as she was ringing me up.

"Yes sir. There is a fifty dollar charge, but we can deliver them this afternoon."

"Do it," Emmett nodded. "Fork over the extra cash."

I rolled my eyes at him, and gave the girl my credit card. "I need them delivered before three. Will that be a problem?"

"It shouldn't be."

I smiled and looked back at my friends. "See, problem solved."

** *** **

Things were not going according to plan… at all. I kept telling myself to calm down, that everything would work out and that we had more than enough time. But the more shit that kept going wrong, the more annoyed and frustrated I got.

The balloon ordeal wasn't so bad in comparison to what had happened when I went to pick up the hors d'oeurves I had ordered. Not only had I once again, ordered way more than I needed, but I also ordered food that apparently had finely chopped up celery in it. This wouldn't have been so disastrous if it wasn't for the fact that my wife was highly allergic to it.

"Okay I can't use this," I muttered to the caterer. "What else do you have?"

"Excuse me?" She asked.

_Did she have a fucking hearing problem? _"I said I can't use this. My wife is allergic to celery… what else do you have?"

"Mr. Cullen this isn't some sort of grocery store. We don't keep party platters of cheese and meats on standby. I don't have time to make you…"

"Wait! Wait! You can buy party platters? Where?!" I asked, interrupting her.

Apparently my interest in grocery store party platters had offended her, because I was asked to leave. She shouldn't have cared. I paid her for an ass load of food that I couldn't even fucking use. So with three pans full of over priced food in the trunk of my car, I hauled ass to the grocery store.

When I found a tray of meats and cheeses, and another with fruits and vegetables I grabbed them. As I drove home I thought that maybe, just maybe, things would get back on track. That was until Jasper called me.

"Did you mean to order all black balloons?" He asked me.

"Uh…" I tried to think back to when I placed the order. I thought I had said black and purple, but I honestly couldn't remember. "I think it was supposed to be black and purple. Why?"

"Well we are at your house, trying to decorate with two hundred and forty black balloons. It looks like a funeral," Jasper explained.

"Oh."

He sighed. "Edward you do know that people decorate with black for people's fortieth and fiftieth birthday's right? Like a mourning type thing? You know… getting old?"

"Oh fuck," I groaned and threw my head back against the head rest.

"Yeah…"

"Well… can we not make it look better? I mean isn't black supposed to be timeless and classic?" I asked him. It wasn't normally my style to know that shit, but I had been dragged to five different stores last weekend while Bella looked for a pair of "classic and timeless" black shoes. "It's already four; people are supposed to be at the house at five-thirty. We don't have time for this bullshit."

Jasper was quiet for a second. "Let me see what I can do. Where are you?"

"I'll be there in like fifteen minutes. I just have to go pick up the cake."

We hung up and I took a calming breath. "It will be fine. It will all be fine."

I ran into the bakery and picked the cake up, then sped back to the house. When I walked inside I realized that none of this would be "fine". It looked… horrible. I sat the cake on the counter and walked into the living room. Jasper was studiously popping balloons, while Emmett was inhaling the helium and singing the munchkin song from the Wizard of Oz.

"This is your plan?" I asked them. "You're just going to pop balloons?"

"Well I figured that if we didn't use as many, then maybe it wouldn't be as bad," Jasper explained.

"Yeah," Emmett chirped. His voice was high and distorted.

"Then just let them go! Open the back door and they will float away!" I yelled. Did they not understand that we were on a time crunch?!

"That is so bad for the environment," Emmett said in his chipmunk voice.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Are you kidding me with that?"

"No man he's serious. It can kill the seals if they eat it and choke on it. Not to mention the birds and other wildlife that could be affected," Jasper lectured.

"Okay fine, pop the fucking balloons. Emmett can you please go get the party platters out of the back of my car and get the food ready? There is food in the trunk that we can set out, but we can't use it. It has celery in it."

"Bella's allergic to celery," Emmett said.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Yes… I know."

While Emmett dealt with the food I ran into the bedroom and changed clothes. I made sure that my dirty clothes weren't left on the floor; I was trying to be better about doing that shit, and double checked my shirt in the mirror.

After a quick glance at the clock I walked into the office. I pulled open my desk drawer and got out the card that I had gotten for Bella. I didn't have time to write a full out love letter, and honestly I think we were past that phase. So I just told her the truth, that I loved her and had no idea what I would do if she wasn't in my life. I smiled as I pulled out the small brochure that the travel agent had given me, and tucked it into the card. With twenty minutes to spare, I walked back into the kitchen and tapped the card on the counter while I looked around. The food was laid out, and Emmett was opening the box to the cake. We could do this.

"Who's Bedford?" Emmett asked. He looked up at me and then back down at the cake.

"What?"

"This cake says, 'congratulations Bedford'. You picked up the wrong cake dude," he shoved the box across the counter for me to look at.

"FUCK MY LIFE!" I yelled. "REALLY? REALLY?"

Jasper came walking into the room and shook his head when he saw the cake. "It's fine; just scrape the top part off. We can put the fruit on top of it."

I groaned as they started working on it. I was being punished; Karma was kicking my fucking ass. Bella said she didn't want a birthday party, and instead of listening to what she had said I just did what I wanted. Was I ever going to fucking learn?

My phone started ringing and I pinched the bridge of my nose as I answered it. "Yeah?"

"Edward!" Alice whispered harshly.

"Alice?" I looked at Jasper. He shrugged at me. "What… where are you? Why are you whispering?"

"You have got to cancel the party!" She said a little louder. My heart fell to the floor. "Bella was getting her hair highlighted and… it didn't turn out well. At all."

"What do you mean? Alice…"

"Edward her hair is green! GREEN!" She yelled.

I stared at the wall in front of me. "What…"

"She's about to be back in here! Just do what I said! Cancel the fucking party!"

Before I could say anything she had hung up the phone. I looked at Jasper and Emmett who were almost done with the cake and freaked out. "MOTHER FUCKER!" I yelled and threw my phone down on the counter.

"What happen?!" They both yelled together.

"We have to… get all of this out of here!" I ran into the living room and started trying to herd the massive amount of balloons into the coat closet.

"What happened?" Jasper ran after me. "Edward…"

"We have to cancel the party! Bella's hair is… green or something. I don't fucking know!" I shut the closet door and grabbed another handful of balloon streamers and ran into the guest room. "Jasper, can you start calling people? I don't… fuck I don't even know who all I invited!"

Emmett started helping while Jasper assured me he would take care of it. Not giving a shit about the environment I opened the back door and started shoving balloons outside. The seals could fucking deal with it.

"Alice just texted me," Jasper yelled from the living room. "They're about five minutes away!"

"FIVE MINUTES!" I yelled. "THEY WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE BACK TILL AFTER SIX!"

If it wasn't total chaos before, it was now! The three of us were running through the house trying to wave the last of the balloons out of the doors.

"Emmett, get the food! GET THE FUCKING FOOD OUT OF HERE!" I yelled.

He nodded and grabbed the pans of over priced celery food and ran out to his car. I shoved the rest of the party platters at Jasper and pushed him out of the door. "Stay here and keep people from ringing the door bell! Tell them I'm sick… or… fuck! Just get rid of them!"

After I shut the door, I ran back through the house trying to make sure that it was balloon free. I stopped when I got to the kitchen. The cake! They left the fucking cake! I picked it up and ran back and forth, wondering what to do with it. When I saw headlights pull into the driveway I stopped. A cake was normal! I could have easily just gotten a cake because I liked cake. It made sense! I sat it back on the counter and ran into the living room. I turned the TV on and fell into my chair. When the side door open, I took a deep breath and tried to appear normal.

I heard a quiet knocking on the window behind me and saw Emmett hiding behind the bush. I waved him away and turned back around just in time.

"Bella it really isn't that bad," Alice said encouragingly. "They can fix it Monday… no big deal."

I prepared myself for whatever Bella was going to look like, and was determined not to laugh… or frown… or show any sign of emotion to her hair. I would look indifferent, and just reassure her that she was beautiful.

"I look ridiculous!" She yelled and threw her purse onto the dining room table. I smiled when she walked into the living room and immediately regretted it. "Don't you fucking smirk at me Edward Cullen!"

I blinked and shook my head, looking at Alice for support. "I didn't…"

The second that Bella covered her face with her hands and started crying I shot up out of the chair and wrapped my arms around her. She cried against my chest and muttered apologies. I kissed the top of her green streaked hair and told her it was fine.

"I just… I want to go to bed," she whimpered against my shoulder. I nodded and after apologizing again, she walked back into the bedroom.

"What the fuck!" I whispered harshly.

Alice shook her head. "What did you want me to do?! Edward she is fucking pissed! Where is Jasper?"

"He's outside making sure people don't ring the door bell!" I said a little louder than I meant to.

She shushed me and I rolled my eyes. "Go check on Bella…"

We both looked towards the kitchen when we heard the side door open again and took off through the house. I nearly knocked Rosalie over as she was coming into the house. I covered her mouth to keep her from screaming while Alice held her finger over her lips.

"What the…" Rosalie whispered.

"Hey, do you guys want to order dinner?" Bella yelled from our bedroom.

Alice whispered she would deal with Rosalie. I ran into the bedroom just as Bella was starting to walk out. She ran into my chest and I held onto her arms to keep her from falling.

"Easy," I laughed, hoping like hell I seemed normal.

"Where's Alice?" Bella asked. I followed her back into the bathroom and watched she pulled her hair up into a messy knot.

"She's um… outside. I think she's calling Jasper," I lied. Well technically she was talking to Jasper, so I guess it wasn't a full lie. I moved so that I was standing behind Bella and kissed the top of her head. She leaned back against me, and even when I smiled at our reflection she just kept frowning. "Honey, it isn't that bad," I whispered. "You're beautiful. You always are."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better. I look… horrible."

"It isn't just the hair, what's wrong Bella?" I asked. She shrugged as I wrapped my arms around her. "You've been unhappy for a while and I know it isn't just your birthday. Tell me what's wrong."

"It's stupid," she muttered.

"Please tell me," I kissed her shoulder.

Bella took a deep breath and turned around to look at me. "I'm almost thirty."

"Okay? And?" I asked.

"That only gives us ten years Edward." She said quietly. She looked at me like I was supposed to understand what she was talking about. I had no clue. "They say that women shouldn't have children past the age of forty! What if… what if we waited too long? Ten years isn't that long and… what if it takes longer than we thought…"

"Bella," I said calmly.

"I know we made that whole list of things we wanted to do before we had kids, but Edward we're running out of time!"

"There is only one thing left on the list," I smiled. I rubbed her shoulders, trying to make her relax. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. She wasn't going to make this easy. "Bella, I…"

"I don't need to see Europe, Edward! That isn't who I am… I mean… I would love too, but it just isn't a possibility right now!"

"What? Why?" I asked. "Bella I…"

"Because we already know that this isn't going to be easy Edward!" She yelled over me. "The doctor said it could take years… and now… what if takes too long?!"

"I already got the tickets for Europe!" I yelled back at her.

Bella stared up at me and I shook my head. This was definitely now how I wanted this to happen. I wanted her to be surprised and excited, not freaked out and the verge of a panic attack.

"You…" she whispered.

I nodded and sighed. "I got them for your birthday and our anniversary. I was going to tell you tonight."

"So… we're going?" She asked. Her face was lit up with a smile.

"We're going."

She squealed and threw her arms around my neck. I laughed as she kissed me and apologized for being so irritable lately. "It's fine Bella, I just… why wouldn't you talk to me about this? You said yourself that doctors don't know everything."

Her shoulders shrugged as she shook her head. "I don't know…"

"Bella, I…"

We were interrupted by the door bell ringing. I felt my eyes widen as Bella moved out from under my arms and walked back into the bedroom.

"Do you think Alice locked herself out? You weren't expecting anyone were you?" She asked.

I tried to get her to stay in the bedroom and let me see who was at the door, but of course that shit didn't work. Before I could stop her, she was pulling the front door open. I groaned and let my head fall backwards as my mother yelled "happy birthday" from the front porch.

"What…" Bella looked past her and my father. Our entire front yard was covered with people, while Jasper and Emmett were trying, unsuccessfully, to turn people away.

"Are you surprised, honey?" My mother asked and pulled Bella into a hug.

"Very," Bella muttered and looked back at me.

"I…well…" I mumbled. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled. "Happy Birthday."

Bella looked back into the front yard and pulled the door the rest of the way open. I stood aside as people started coming in and smiled pathetically. My mother grabbed onto my arm and leaned in to me.

"Is her hair green on purpose?" She quietly asked.

"Just… don't bring it up," I muttered. She nodded her head and kept moving into the house.

Other than the fact that I had thrown a party when Bella had specifically asked me not to, things went well. People seemed to have a good time, and no one mentioned her green hair. After Alice and Jasper left, I quietly shut the front door and walked back into the bed room. Bella was throwing the decorative pillows onto the floor, and stopped when she saw me standing in the doorway.

"I'm sorry…" We said at the same time.

I raised an eyebrow and she smiled.

"I… Thank you… for throwing a party for me," she said. I watched as she got into bed and fidgeted with the blankets. "I didn't think I would want to celebrate, but I had fun. Even with the green hair…"

"The green hair is… kind of sexy," I shrugged. She rolled her eyes as I crawled onto the bed next to her. "No I like it. It's like… punk rock-ish."

"You're a horrible liar, but I love you," Bella laughed.

I smiled when she leaned down to kiss me. "Happy birthday baby," I whispered and kissed her back.

**A/N: Aw… a little Assward makes everything better! Just to let you guys know, I have started posting chapters for the prequel. The story is called When Assward met Bella. If you were wondering about the sequel… well this is **_**kinda**_** part of it, but I will be posting it once the prequel is finished.**


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